My latest obsession...

Here's the bummer, I've had a sinus infection and cramps for the first 2 days of my vacation. It's a bummer but I've got my trusty new laptop and loads of Kleenex and Aleve so it's gonna be fine.

While I recuperate I've been cruising around online and have discovered my new goal in life. I simply must figure out how to get myself one of these:



"What is that?" you ask. That, my friends, is what we call a sleeping porch. It's where folks used to sleep in the unbearably hot days of summer before air conditioning came along in the 40's. I now not only need to find a little house in the woods, as I've always known, but now it has to have a sleeping porch. Well, a sleeping porch with WiFi and some sort of cable access.

Then I saw this swing bed on a sleeping porch and I felt faint. I mean honestly, can you imagine anything more dreamy?

Oy, what a week!

So, all of the stress from the past year has finally resulted in elevated blood pressure for me. Yay me. I've seen a few doctors and they all tell me to take a vacation, start walking and don't let my work or my boss get to me.

The good news is that it may finally get better. Last Tuesday evening I learned that effective this Monday I will be working with a new team through the summer. I've worked for both bosses on this new team and I've managed the accounts. At first I felt like a cheap whore being passed around but the Director of the new team told me that she had made a special request for me because they need help fast and they knew I could dive right in. That made me feel better.
The more I thought about it the more excited I was about this development. We have been in the middle of establishing our budgets/goals for 2011 so it's a stressful time BUT I stayed focused, got the job done and will begin the new job on Monday.

One EVP, from another company, that I will be working with again was happy. We're friends, and I heard he requested me too but he had the funniest comment for me. When I called to tell him I'd be back on his business he said "That's great! I don't know why I'm so happy though. You're such a bitch to me but I love working with you. I don't know how you do that.". LOL! I'll take that as a compliment... sort of. He's right. I'm no push over but I try to at least make the work fun. He told me that when I see "what's been going on over there you're going to kick my ass." then added "You're walking into a real shit storm." Great.

Did I mention that I'm on vacation this Monday and all week? Oops! Luckily nobody seemed to mind. Well, my direct supervisor seemed sort of bummed but what could we do? I need a damn break!

Then, back at the ranch, my sweet little MacBook started acting up.

I've been having trouble maintaining an Internet connection for a while but it's been getting progressively worse. Finally, this past week, it got to the point where I couldn't hold a connection for more than 7 minutes. I had almost no chance of getting a new connection once it had been dropped. I finally left MacBook with my favorite independent repair shop and soon got a call that I'd need a new logic board and a battery. It would cost over $600 to fix up the MacBook. To my mind that spelled New-Laptop... Pronto! I've had the MacBook for almost 5 years with little trouble until recently. It seemed high time to take the plunge.

I knew I'd get another Mac because I love them. I considered switching to a desktop computer because they are less expensive but decided sitting on the couch cruising the net sounded like more fun. I ended up getting a new MacBook Pro.

Here's the deal with Macs, when you slip them out of the box and plug them in the seduction is complete. I'm serious. I tapped the power button, sat back and sighed. The graphics start flying and the sound blows you out of your chair and you know that no other computer will do. And then Steve Jobs and team come up with something even more beautifully perfect and you do it all over again a few years later... and you look forward to it.

I spent more than I wanted to but I figured I use my computer every day of my life. I have to be half dead to skip a day on it so I may as well get the one I really want. Of course this means I'm grounded and can't spend any money until the end of the year but I don't mind. Being a shut-in with a Mac is fine with me.

BO-RING!

Did you know that The World Cup trophy is not actually a cup? Turns out all of those guys are actually fighting for a small gold phallus. Well, to my eyes it really looks like a twisted claw holding up a ball. Either way, it's a disturbing trophy especially when you consider how many of planet's earth's population is currently obsessed with it.

Listen, I can enjoy a big sporting event as much as the next person. I get up early to watch the Men's Finals of Wimbledon. I'm up for a good World Series and I even take in a live Dodger game from time to time. It's all good stuff, but I will never understand the fanatical obsession the rest of the world has with soccer... (I'm sorry, football).

Nonetheless, I decided to give it try yesterday. The match was between England and the US. All I knew was that the US was apparently about to get's it's ass handed to it. I was doing laundry and gearing up for a sleepover with my niece and nephew. A soccer game on in the background seemed like an easy enough task to manage. I quickly discovered that the South African game hosts have unfortunately handed out cheap plastic horns to the spectators. The resulting buzzing sound is close to unbearable. The world turns it's eyes to your World Cup and all we can hear is the sound of African Killer Bees. Well done South Africa!

Any chance I may have had of enjoying the dullest sport on earth died a horrible death about 20 years while on a trip through Great Britain with KAW. I recall another World Cup or some such big deal soccer situation going on back then. More than anything I remember meeting a young couple in the B&B we were staying in at some coastal town. The couple had been camping along on beaches for about 2 weeks when the man finally decided to spring for a room for the night because his team was playing and he wanted non-stop access to a tv. Hey big spender! This was annoying enough but did I mention that his long suffering wife was very pregnant? Yeah, the jerk wouldn't spring for a decent bed to sleep in until his team was on tv. I suppose I should blame her for wanting to pro-create with such a dreadful moron but I'm sure the realization that you're married to a jerk doesn't help when you're seven months pregnant and camping on a frigid beach.

Whenever I think of soccer (I'm sorry, football), and that is seldom, I recall that poor pregnant woman and this bit from the Simpson's. I think it perfectly illustrates how Americans experience soccer:



The Onion is currently featuring this fun interactive map of a soccer field and players further explaining this mind numbingly boring sport.

The Daily Show showed this fun clip perfectly showing the smug attitude England has towards US soccer (I'm sorry... football). Of course it's all made even more hilarious knowing that England only managed to tie the US in it's first game. To which I say:



It may be just me but I really thought this clip from The Colbert Report on the lameness of soccer & BP was hilarious. (I recommend skipping to the 3:00 mark for the soccer portion.)

So far all this World Cup stuff has made for some very funny stuff online and on tv.

So, before you soccer fans get your panties in a twist over this subject matter please understand that while I think AYSO is a great organization for kids, soccer remains painfully boring and most Americans would rather poke their eyes out with chop sticks before having to sit through 3 hours of watching men jog/run over a big field.

Now, how do I explain our obsession with NASCAR, a "Sport" in which people turn left for 4 hours at at time? Well, I can't. We Americans are a complicated group. Now please just leave us out of the this soccer nonsense once and for all.

Well, that was wierd... again.

So, I was nabbed for jury duty. I'm a strange one in that I don't really mind jury duty. What I mind is the location. I ALWAYS get called into the downtown LA Criminal Courts building. It's a hassle to get to and the people are CRA-ZY.

I had to be downtown at 7:45 am for the first morning. Nightmare! After an orientation period that took way too long, becuase people are way too stupid, the first jury panel was called. We were told the judge had a bit of required reading for the jurors called due to special curcumstances. It was also expected to be a 30 day trial. *gasp* Everyone held their breath while names were read. I've never been happier to work for an employer who does NOT have unlimited pay for jury duty. There were a bunch of cameras and members of the media out front and it eventually dawned on me that the 30 day trial was actually this high profile case. Phew! Unlike the victim I managed to dodge that bullet. (What? Too soon? Sorry!)

Instead, I sat through a few rounds of names and finally was called to a jury panel right before lunch. When we returned from lunch 18 people were called into the jury box for questioning. that took the rest of the day and most of the next. The attorneys thanked and excused half of them before I was called up. They didn't ask me much and I thought I was stuck for sure. I'm a reasonable person capable of being objective so I think I'm a pretty good pick for a juror. Then the defense attorney promptly excused me. He seemed to be excusing everyone with "Manager" in their title.

The few facts about the case that I was privy to were: The defendant, an older African American man, was accused of robbing a manager of some parking lots. The manager and his employees were of middle eastern descent.

But that those are the boring facts of the jury selection process. Here are the bizarre fun facts:

Out of about 25 people, 5-6 had DUIs on their records.

One man's brother-in-law had been convicted of drug trafficking. When asked if he felt his brother had been treated fairly he shrugged and said "Well, yeah. He WAS guilty." (LOL!)

A women explained that when she was a kid her sister was convicted of armed robbery and kidnapping. (WTF?!)

Some woman's ex-boyfriend had been convicted of embezzlement from his employer... a bank. (Well thought out, moron.)

A man was car-jacked by "two white college kids" who stopped in front of his car, jumped out, put hoods over their heads, pulled out a sawed off shotgun and took his car. (I repeat... WTF?!)

One moronic kid, who looked like a wee Neanderthal, claimed that his parents had once been robbed. It was dark and they couldn't see who did it but they assumed a black man had done it. He was "raised to believe that all robberies were caused by black people". (WTF?!)

A young woman claimed to be so paralysed by the thought of judging the facts of an alleged crime that she was shaking. (You imbecile!)

Another woman claimed that she hated cops because her parents had been robbed and they never caught the mask wearing gunman. When the judge asked "So you dislike police officers because they couldn't catch a man your parents couldn't identify?" she said yes. Then again, she also hated robbers because one had terrified her parents. She pretty much hated both sides of the case which may seem to make things even but apparently not. (You moron!)

A young man born in Israel claimed that all middle easterners were liars. When pressed he shrugged and said "It's been my experience that they always lie." When the judge asked where exactly the alleged victims were from we learned they were from Jordan. The potential juror shrugged again and said "Well, we did have a war with them." The judge said :Yes, but it's been a while. Things seem to be better lately wouldn't you say?" The juror agreed but again stated they were all liars. (OMG!) I later asked him if her really believed that. He admitted that he did not believe it but he'd seen how the other bigot got off so he thought he'd give it a try.

Way too many woman had been robbed or held at gun point. (Jesus!)

One woman had been convicted of grand theft auto when she was 14. She's now a born again Christian. (WTG!)

The girl next to me had six toes. (I am SO NOT kidding.)

These are just a smattering of the horrors I heard from these people before being excused.

OH! And did I mention that I could TOTALLY see the defense attorney's shwanger through his ill fitting pants? I'm not one to stare at a man's crotch but he seemed to have a pack of cigarettes in one pocket and keys in the other so it caught my attention. I then realised I could clearly see that he was circumcised. Ewwww! It was like seeing your bosses package through his pants. I was entirely grossed out.

So, it seems my Summer of Horror marched on in ways I'd never anticipated. I'm still recovering. I sorry to say that I learned that when people really don't want to be on a jury the men act like mega racist pigs and the women act stupid, confused and unreasonable. I'm so depressed.

That was weird

So, the self imposed The Summer of Horror is off to a good start. I finished reading The Exorcist and really liked it. It's scary and obscene but a great read.

As much as I liked The Exorcist the most surprising aspect of reading it is not the content but the reaction people have to it. Maybe it was the location but I read it while in the waiting rooms of a doctor's office and later a blood lab and I got some very strange looks. People look at the book as though it were some sort of manual for evil. I read it at a hair salon and got similar reactions. One stylest asked what I was reading, I held up the book and watched as she took a step back turned on her feet and briskly walked away mumbling "I've seen the movie and that was enough for me." My hair stylist asked the same question. When I held up the book she too took a step back and held her hair dryer up as if in defense while shaking her head. All of these reactions were genuinely funny to me. I'm on jury duty this week. I'm only sorry that I won't have the chance to carry it around the LA County Criminal Courthouse. God only knows the looks I'd get reading it there.

I saw Splice yesterday. Sadly I cannot recommend that as highly as I can The Exorcist in written or film form. I've only seen The Exorcist three times in my entire life. The first time really doesn't count because I saw most of it while peering out from between my fingers. The second attempt was with my brother and his BFF. They got me a bit drunk and made fun of it. We laughed through that airing. The third time was with Shandon and Howard. I made it though that viewing sober but admit to having a hard time sleeping alone in the house that night. I think it's the scariest movie I've ever seen. The Shining is a close second but I've seen that one many times and it doesn't seem to keep me up at night... but I still hate those creepy twins.

This American Life recently ran an episode where a man describes how seeing The Shining as a kid wrecked him for life and his mother had the nerve to have zero recollection of the event. For me it was Rosemary's Baby. It was airing on tv, chalk full of commercials, but it scared me so badly that I had to sit in the kitchen where my babysitter and brother were playing a board game. I didn't see that film in it's entirety until about 25 years later. The film that scared my brother for life was Salem's Lot. All I had to do was raise my arms and pretend to hover outside of his bedroom door and he'd freak out. At least that is my recollection. I called to confirm this with him. He was slightly distracted by a hockey game but this is the conversation that followed:

Lucy: Ok, when you were a kid, wasn't Salem's Lot the film that scared you the most?
Bro: *adamantly* No, it was The Shining. Salem's Lot scared me but the one that really f@cked with me was The Shining.
Lucy: Did you see it in the theater or on tv?
Bro: In the theater. MOM TOOK ME!
Lucy: LOL!! What?!
Bro: I know! It messed with my head for years.

I promptly congratulated Mom for that decision.

Lucy: I just talked to bro and he says you took him to see The Shining when he was a kid.
Mom: What? Ohhh, The Shining isn't that bad.
Lucy: Mom, he was 12 years old!
Mom: *averting her eyes from mine* Well, just those two girls were bad. The rest was fine.
Lucy: What about the naked lady getting out the bath who turns into a rotting zombie making out with Jack Nicholson?
Mom: *shrug*

Mom later claimed "Well, I was a good mother most of the time. We all make mistakes!" She's right. She was and remains an excellent mother. She must have just had a lapse of good judgement. Sort of like the time I took my three-year-old niece on Tower of Terror at California Adventure. That was not my best aunty moment.

Aside from Rosemary's Baby my all time scariest movie is one I don't know the name of. I saw that one on tv and never forgot it. Yesterday, Shandon, Howard and I were talking about how most of the scariest things we saw were on local tv on the weekends of our childhood. Most parent's were busy and didn't really pay attention to what we watched during the day, alone in the living room. Howard recalls seeing Burnt Offerings on tv. That chauffeur still scares him. We agreed that anything with Karen Black in it spelled trouble in our childhoods. Remember this one? Of course it's now hilarious but in the 70's it scared the hell outta me. Someone seriously needs to put her in a a quality horror film to really scare us children of the 70's. Where is Quinton Tarentino's nostalgic side when you need it?

This pathological liar always freaked me out too. Worst of all were weekends when this was all that was on. It was worst in the summer when it was too hot and smoggy to go out and play.



What a whack job. Bad dubbing has been an issue with me ever since

And jeeez, remember this movie trailer?! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Shandon and her sister remember a film with a creepy priest or was it a monk? Anyway, she finally learned the name of that film and got to show it to her sister and got a great reaction. My unknown film was in black and white with a women a being chased through the streets. She may have been accused of witchcraft, I'm not sure. Ultimately she was thrown in some sort of cell with her head encased in a cage. There is a hungry rat on one side of the cage. A divider is lifted and the rat rushes to feed on her face. OMG, I'll never forget it. I don't think I even want to know the name of that damned movie. What I want to know is why on earth was that shown on local tv?! How did I go from Dusty's Treehouse to flesh eating rats?! And why isn't Dusty's Treehouse on YouTube by now?

Summer of HOR-ROR!

So I'm reading The Exorcist and I'm really enjoying it. I know it may sound strange to enjoy The Exorcist but I'm here to tell you it's an excellent read. I remember being entirely freaked out by Pet Semetary in high school. I was so scared that I had to read it in front of the fireplace to be near my family when I read it each night. I almost gave up on Stephen King after slogging through It but there are a couple I still need to get to.

I've decided I like reading horror in the summertime. I then decided to read MORE classic horror this summer. Here's is what I'm hoping to get to in the next few months:

#1 - Enough with all of that vampire romance crap, bring on the REAL vampires! The kind that can scare the bejeezus outta you.

#2 - Shandon approved. Looking forward to it:

#3 - This one has been on my list for ages. I think the time has come:


I may re-read this or not. I'm still thinking about it. In the mean time Kathleen will be giving it a shot:

If you have some you'd like to suggest please do.

P.S. I was right. As much as I wanted to read The Exorcist while giving platelets, I just couldn't stomach it. Having a needle in your arm pretty much makes everything gross for the entire day. I was reduced to watching The Proposal instead. "The horror. The horror..."

Summer horror kick off!

So, I received my copy of The Amityville Horror today. I thought reading it again might be a fun way to kick off this nice long weekend. I read The Amityville Horror in about the 7th grade and it scared the hell outta me (as promised on the book cover). However, after some consideration, I thought why not read a scary book that I haven't read before? I promptly dug up the copy of The Exorcist that I've been meaning to read forever.

So far it's a quick read. Regan has already walked into the dinner party, urinated on the rug, stared at the astronaut and said "You're going to die up there". It's getting GOOD! I won't even go into the mysterious desecrations going on at the Catholic Church down the street. Awkward!

Of course, I'm still in the middle of The Forgotten Garden which I'm truly enjoying. I just haven't been in a reading mood. Of course, I'm donating platelets tomorrow and I plan on reading while I'm there but I don't think I can stomach reading The Exorcist with a needle in my arm. Blechh! I'll be switching to The Forgotten Garden for that appointment.

(Yes, Shandon. That's an Exorcist bobblehead up there. Please note the twisty neck detail. I know you want one!)

Silly American tradition lets me down

I did some poking around in an effort to find some good old tv marathons that programmers may of thoughtfully planned for my viewing pleasure this weekend. I found evidence of a few small line ups but they are weak at best. The only marathon worth mentioning is on Spike TV where Band of Brothers will air on Monday. I love that mini-series and watch it at least once a year. If you haven't seen it all the way through you simply must.

I searched in vain for a Twilight Zone marathon but only found a few episodes airing on SciFi Channel. On one hand I'm disappointed in the SciFi Channel. On the other hand I prefer to watch Twilight Zone episodes for hours on end when it's REALLY hot outside. This typically happens on the 4th of July. I'll just have to keep my fingers crossed and hope I can do that in 5 weeks.

Here are some of the weak marathon offerings I managed to find (check your local listings for times and dates):

A&E

• Criminal Minds
• Parking Wars
• Billy the Exterminator (WTF?)

BBC America

• Doctor Who (Ok, don't tell anyone but I'm sort of into this show. I'm a recent convert but I kinda dig it. It's very embarrassing.)
  
• Star Trek: The Next Generation

Discovery

• Deadliest Catch

Food Network

• Grill it! With Bobby Flay

Hitler Channel

• Patton 360
• WWII in HD
• America the Story of Us

TCM

• War Movie Marathon (complete list here) I'm not generally into war movies but there are some classics in the mix you may like.
  

TLC

• Say Yes to the Dress
• The Little Couple
• Cake Boss

TNT

• Of course... lots of Law & Order

TV Land

• Lots of big blocks of same show programming. This may be normal, I don't know since I haven't watched it in a while.
  

NGC

• Hooked (Never hear of it. It sounds promising. Another addiction show or maybe a fishing show? Who knows?)

USA

• Lots of Law & Order

Of course, I could turn OFF the tv and do some reading. God knows reading makes me happier than tv. The only down side is that time flies when I read and I don't really want this weekend to fly by.

I'll have to see what I can do to make the most of this weekend. I suppose it's a good thing that there is no decent tv on. Maybe I'll actually crack open my book of shame.

I told you so

Once upon a time I used to visit a lovely house in the woods for crafting weekends. I was a friend of a friend of the owners sister who belonged in a crafting group I helped originate. It was about 10 years ago when a few of us started a monthly Friday night group that got together to regularly scrapbook. There was only one rule to Scrap Club: No kids, no husbands. We would rotate the location of the get togethers and each host about 1 night per year. The husbands and kids of the host's home would make themselves scarce. Often they would congregate at another husbands house for a night of pizza and movies. It seemed to make everyone very happy. Being the single lady of the group I enjoyed the uninterrupted evening of girl talk.

When we first heard a member of our group had access to a "cabin" we all decided to go up for a long weekend of crafting. I don't know about everyone else but I had visions of bunk beds and a cramped living room. Instead we pulled up to this place. Imagine my surprise. Our friend had entirely undersold the place. I remember us all walking around in a daze when we first arrived. We were shocked. There were about 8 of us on that first weekend. Not only did I not have to sleep in a bunk bed but I got my own room... with a lake view!

In the winter we stayed indoors except to occasionally barbecue in the snow. It sounds crazy but it's actually a lot of fun. In the summers we would take time out to lounge on the deck. It was a dream but like all dreams it came to an end. One ugly divorce later we all said goodbye to that wonderful place. We miss it to this day.

How did I find it online? Well, let's just say I got tired of looking at houses in my price range. I typed in Santa Barbara, Malibu and eventually Big Bear Lake into Redfin (my favorite new real estate site) and up it popped. I sent it to a friend who confirmed that it is in fact the house we used to visit.

The pictures do not do it justice. That giant window has a magnificent view of the lake. The deck on the back of the house is huge and the house sleeps 25 people... we counted once. We used to park it at those tables and I would build a fire in the fire place. I was the only one who knew who to start a fire. I've been the fire starter ever since. I also come in handy when a spider needs smashing.

Anyway, for those of you who have heard tale of that little cabin that got away, I just had to share it with you.

*sigh* I miss it so.

Unclassifiable

Last night I saw a little show called Nightmare Alley at the Geffen Theater. It was so-so. I may have liked it more if the theme hadn't been so damned promising. It was a musical based on the book and film of the same name AND takes place in and around a sideshow freak tent. I know!

Shandon rightly sent an email to us about a month ago stating she'd purchased tickets without asking first because she knew we'd be so all over it. She was right. I suppose I may have liked it more if Howard hadn't leaned over to say "Is this yacht rock?" It was. Damn you Howard! *shaking fist in air* The performers had really good voices and the male lead's ability to project would make Ethel Merman nervous. The story and songs were weak but we had a good time anyway.

This all brings to mind modern day freak shows. Oh yes, my friends, freak shows are alive and well all over cable television. Ever flipped past those freaks the Duggars or that poor Half Ton Teen on Discovery Health? Hoarders and Intervention are of the same vein but it's "ok" because the show producers are really just there to help. Uh huh. In the end it's programming straight from the PT Barnum handbook.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a modern day freak show as much as the next gal. Remember how caught up in The Real Housewives of New York I got while trapped in my hotel room recently? What, I didn't mention that shameful episode? I was lured in I tell you! Don't judge me. Programmers call them teasers or bumpers, I call them barkers. Step right up and marvel at the spoiled, hyper petty existence of modern day freaks. That's right folks, step right up and take in the wonder of these supreme bitches!

Naturally (because my mind is nimble that way) last night's themes also brought to mind the Dearly Departed Tours that I've been wanting to check out. I'd prefer a more old time Hollywood experience but I suppose there isn't much of a market for that sort of tour anymore. Now it's all about where Hugh Grant and George Micheal were arrested. There is mention of the Black Dahlia and Sunset Blvd so I'd probably still join in but I'd like more of the stuff that happened pre-1970. There was a disturbing tour on the Mason Murders. No thank you. It just seemed to sorted.

Of course this online search, as so many others, lead from one thing to another. I eventually found a few things I thought you dear, and few, readers might enjoy:

Phreeque - "Unclassifiable" is pretty interesting
SideShowWorld - This one may require more navigating time but I'll be back.
SlightlyWarped is fun. I like The Right Angle page and the Ghastly Ghost page could be fun next Halloween. If nothing else, be sure to check out this out.

I'd do a little more digging around but for more freakish links but, frankly, the internets can be a disturbing place. I don't have the nerve to dig much deeper. Let me know if you find any fun curios that won't make me sick.

Be what you might have been?

When I was a kid I LOVED photography. More precisely, I liked photography books and my Dad's old Minolta. Dad was always so great about showing me how to care for and use that old beast of a camera. It's a wonder I could even lift it in my little 5 year old hands. Dad often handed it to me to let me take a shot or two. Of course those were the days of slides and film so I never got to go too crazy but I had a good eye and I knew how to use that camera.

The other day I finally bought a new DSLR camera. I gave up photography years ago after I came to believe that a couple of unfortunate photography classes ruined my eye. The instructors preached too many rules and techniques and it wrecked any natural talent I might have possessed. I decided to walk away from photography and come back when I'd emptied my head of all of the nonsense.

Today, was the day to get to know my new camera. It's a Canon and I love it already. It's interface is easy to use. I read the manual and took several shots of my propped up feet, studying the difference in aperture and exposure settings. It's all new to me again... yea!!!

I happened to have The Seven Ages of Rock on tv (again) and something about having a camera in my hand and seeing Robert Plant on stage got me thinking about what my much younger self thought my life was going to be like.

For starters, I was TOTALLY going to marry one of these guys:

(I've always loved a tall drink a water and I blame Mr. Plant)

(I have a Parker Stevenson autographed picture somewhere around here.)

(Greg, you were dreamy... but lose Bear)

(I recently told Shandon that I tolerate Justified because I enjoy seeing Timothy Oliphant lean in a doorway, maybe this is why:)


*sigh*

I stand by every one of my daydream subjects. Of course, catching one of these "total foxes" was not going to be a problem because I was going to look like this:

I was going to drive this:

I was going to live in a place like this (but with lots of exposed brick, plants and books):

I was definitely going to have a stereo system like this (but with much bigger speakers and an entire wall of well organized LPs):

Most importantly, I was going to travel the world as a super human National Geographic Photographer then take Ansel Adams' job:

Of course, times have changed and none of these things came to pass but, as it turns out, I like who I became. Who knows, maybe I can still become a decent photographer.

Oh, and Bobby? *Call me.*

Sold!

Well, my ill-timed sinus infection is being treated with what I'm told is a form of penicillin called Augmentin. While it instantly kicked my sore throat and cleared my sinuses pretty well it unfortunately had the same effect on my intestines. It tore... me... up. The sinus infection has been the least of my troubles for the last 24 hours. (Brace yourselves for TMI) I was trapped in my room all day until I found a stash of Imodium. I popped those pills, waited 30 minutes then RAN down to Duane Reade (again) for more. I realize this is WAY more info than you need but I wanted to share so you could appreciate how desperate I was to get out of my room today. I'm pretty much sure I've now consumed illegal amounts of Imodium. I really wanted to make it to my last two appointments of my trip this morning so I skipped my Augmentin pill this morning. It helped but I was in no shape to do any jumping jacks.

My meetings went well but I was feeling a little "precious" so I came back to my hotel room where I had yet another bowl of matzo ball soup. It was such a pretty day and I still wanted to get out. I cautiously waited for my lunch to settle then headed downtown. I picked up a friend in a cab where we shopped in Soho. But that's not the good part. The good part of my day was the rare opportunity to take a spare hour and spend it on a tour of The Tenement Museum. Have you heard of The Tenement Museum? Do you really need to know anything more than the name to be completely sold?

First of all, the lower east side is where so much of the flavor of New York comes from. I learned all about it today. It's where China Town, Little Italy and German Town where all found, to name a few neighborhoods. Immigrants settled there because it was close to the harbor where they first arrived in America before Ellis Island was created. They would typically hand a slip of paper with their name on it to a dock worker who would point them in the direction of the area where their language was spoken. If they were lucky they had family or friends expecting them. This is the type of scene that welcomed them:

The word "tenement" was not a negative word until much later. Tenements where simply affordable multiple family dwellings built to accommodate the immigrants coming to the US. Wars, poverty and famine brought on an onslaught of immigrants to the lower east side neighborhoods that eventually turned the tenements into the dark, crowded, oppressive slums we now associate the word with.

That street scene pictured above? That's Mulberry Street but it gives you an idea of what life was life in the lower east side at that time. This is what those streets look like these days:

The tour begins in a gift shop where the tour tickets are purchased. There were tons of fantastic books in there but I resisted and instead went to the back of the shop to take in a short film on immigration in America. Soon a tour guide announced our tour was about to begin. About 15 of us gathered on the sidewalk where the tour kicked off.

I chose the tour about a German-Jewish family and an Italian-Catholic family. In the first apartment we heard the story of a German-Jewish woman named Josephine who came to America most likely in search of a husband. She found one, named Louis, and they moved into the apartment on Orchard Street where they had 4 children. Soon after the Panic of 1907 Louis vanished. (Which is when I mumbled under my breath "We HATE Louis!") At the time, some men would just abandon their families, others were murdered for their wages while others committed suicide. Times were tough. The museum has done tons of research on the tenement families but they still do not know what exactly happened to Louis. Our friend Josephine was left alone to fend for her family. She had to find work ... fast. She could have become a prostitute (the red light district was literally on the street behind her tenement) or a factory worker or a street vendor or any number of tough jobs on the street. In the end we learn that she chose to borrow money from a relative to rent a newfangled sewing machine. She worked from her home repairing and sewing clothing for those in her neighborhood. Josephine was soon making more money than Louis ever had. (Which is when I mumbled "Well, she had one less mouth to feed!" and another lady said "Right on!" Was that rude? I couldn't help it. I was still mad at Louis.) One day a telegram arrived from Germany stating that Louis had inherited $600 from his father. (Damn you Louis!) The only way Josephine could collect the inheritance was to have Louis finally declared dead. She did and she got the money. (We know this because the tour guide showed us the legal document they found signed by Josephine and witnessed by her landlord... cool! It mentions Louis' disappearance which is how we know that he vanished.) Josephine took the $600 and moved uptown. (Yee haw!) I was surprised at how emotional I became when we were saw pictures of Josephine's great-great grand children. Seeing her descendants really got to me. Because of that tough, tenacious broad there is a whole family line thriving in this country. Seeing those modern day smiling faces got to me.

I pulled it together enough to get to the next apartment. Here we learn about Sadie and Al from Sicily. They had a daughter and a son and lived in their apartment from 1928 to 1933 when it was condemned. The daughter eventually moved to Brooklyn but came back to her old neighborhood often. One day in 1988 she saw that the building of her childhood home suddenly had some interesting activity going on. She inquired within and learned that it was being turned into a museum. She was thrilled to hear the news and shared her memories with museum founders. The tour guide played an audio clip from the hours of interviews they have with her. She described how her mother would cook for them and they would sit around the kitchen table playing checkers and listening to the radio. Her father loved riddles and would write them down for the family to figure out. She described many happy memories of their tenement home. Mostly I loved that due to her parents spirit she had no idea how hard times were for them. She remembered getting government cheese during the depression and once getting a box of clothes from the government. She needed shoes for school and vividly remembered getting her government box home where he opened it to find men's size nine shoes inside. She had no choice but to stuff the shoes and wear them to school. Poor thing! Otherwise she didn't seem to have bad memories of not having much. I suppose nobody had much back then so it didn't occur to her that times were hard. (I loved her and now I can't even remember her name!) I adored seeing he picture of her at the 1992 opening of the museum with her family.

There are several tours offered by the museum but I chose the the one with German/Italian stories. My tour told the stories of single families living in the apartment. I did not get the story of 25 people living in tiny spaces. I'm sure those stories are also offered but I didn't see those. I will say that a family, even a small one, living in a 325 square foot apartment is unbelievable to experience if even for an hour. indoor plumbing, ventilation and gas heat didn't exist when Josephine lived in her apartment. Those conveniences were around for the second family dwelling I saw and it made quite a difference. If I had to choose one I have to say I'd want ventilation above all. I'd have thought I'd want indoor plumbing but indoor plumbing without ventilation is something I'm not interested in.

I wish more of the country could experience the tour I took today. I think it would impact how we view the immigrants of today. Their stories have not changes much. The only thing that has changed is what it takes to become an American. When Josephine came to New York she only needed to want to be an American to become one. It was tougher from our Italian family and even tougher today.

Cameras are not allowed in the museum. If you'd like to see more you may do so here. I hope you get a chance to visit this amazing museum very soon.

The view

No work for this girl today. I was booked from 7:30 am through dinner tonight. It was supposed to be the busiest day of me week. Instead I called my boss and told her I'd be staying in bed.

I called housekeeping and asked for some fresh towels and for someone to empty my tissue filled trash cans as they were getting out of hand. A very nice lady arrived and completely refreshed my room while I answered emails on my laptop. She left me a couple of extra boxes of Kleenex and some toiletries. She was very motherly and seemed to be worried about me. She even put an extra blanket on the bed for me. Her work alone made me feel better. I took a nap then checked some more emails.

I've had the tv on all morning and tuned to some terribly cheesy movies. I've been drawn to the big stars but it seems even Lauren Bacall, Deborah Kerr and Gregory Peck made some clunkers. No matter, it's just the comfort I need while nursing a sinus infection far from home. Besides the tv, here is my other view:

Can you see the view from my window? Here is a better shot:

Some might find it a bad view but I like it. Like most views in New York it's the view of the wall of windows in the next door building. What I find interesting is that it could be mistaken for a tenement building but inside one window I can see some people seated around a table working. There seems to be lots of paperwork and discussion going on. The hardwood floors are beautiful. Pretty much every window in the city is framed in stripped, distressed wood. I suppose they figure why bother painting, much less replacing, window frames that only the neighbors can see. I like the attitude and think they're right. I love how practical New Yorkers are. It's a no nonsense kind of place that has been forced to make due with what already exists. Sometimes a building is completely renovated but the bones of the structure never changes. The bathrooms in almost every restaurant I've visited are in the basement. I don't know what folks with bad knees or in wheel chairs do around here when they need the facilities. There are open holes in the streets for loading goods into the basements of stores and restaurants. I wonder how many times a year somebody falls down one? There are water towers on every roof. Are they still in use? I've asked and nobody seems to know yet still they stand. Of course, I doubt anyone would make the effort or expense to tear one down unless it was a safety hazard. Many of the streets are still made of original cobble stone. Again, why change it if it's still working? I'm sure it's the enemy of all high heel wearing drunks but it's the risk you take in the meat packing district. The plumbing is consistently either slow to drain or slow to bring hot water. At first I called maintenance thinking the trouble was with my room then, after a few trips, realized it's just that New York hotels are housed in old cranky buildings.

Aside from being a voyeur I managed to trip upon another spectacular architectural blog. It's not your average shots of glorious structures but instead ones devoted to abandoned asylums and hotels. Why do I LOVE that photographic subject? I'm not sure I know the answer. All I know is that they rarely creep me out. Instead I'm just plain fascinated by them. I could explore pix like this all day long.


Oh, and here is one more shot for your viewing pleasure. Remember that $63 dinner I mentioned yesterday? I had soup and salad again last night and took a picture for you. Here it is in all of its glory:

Pretty weak for $63, huh?

Oy!

So here I sit in New York City. I suppose you think I'm doing something super New Yorky like seeing a show or going to a museum. Well, actually I'm sitting in my hotel room with a questionable hotel blanket wrapped around me trying to stay hydrated. Why exactly am I doing this? Because the night before my flight I was kept awake with a terrible sore throat. I hoped it was just allergies. When our delayed landing in JFK left my ears screaming from cabin pressure I knew it was more than just some pesky allergies. Because I now feel even worse and I fear what that pressure will due to my beloved ear drums on the way home I decided I should see a doctor.

A colleague of mine once mentioned visiting a "doc in a box" while in New York. I decided to go see one for myself. Around these parts about the only storefront more prevalent than Starbucks seems to be Duane Reade drug stores. They are everywhere and when visiting Manhattan you quickly learn to rely on them. They all have ATMs, and pretty much everything else a hotel dweller could possibly need. They also seem to be chock full of crazy people and you know how I enjoy the crazies. A friend once saw a crazy ranting and raving in a Duane Reade. When the crazy lady finally spiralled within earshot my friend put on her best psycho face and whispered "If you don't shut up I'm going to kill you." That really set crazy lady off. My (hilarious!) friend just shrugged and shook her head as the security guard escorted the crazy from the store screaming "She said she's going to kill me! She said she's going to kill me!!!" As if that isn't endorsement enough for Duane Reade (I'm sure they'd be proud) I've just discovered some Duane Reades have "docs in a box". I met one today.

Because I'm so distrustful of my (and all) insurance I called to make sure my little out-of-state visit was covered. I called and described my symptoms to the insurance dude (sore throat, irritated ears and sinus pressure) and was told I would need to leave the Duane Reade and immediately go to an emergency room. "What?! That will cost you SO MUCH MORE than this place will charge." I was promptly put on hold. When the insurance dude returned from hold I quickly told him the Duane Reade was considered an urgent care facility (as the Duane Reade dude had calmly assured me). Hold guy then said that the Duane Reade would be ok but that they would have to bill it as an "Emergency". WTF? It was NOT what I would call an emergency (no blood, broken bones, stopped heart or otherwise collapsing body). Duane Reade guy said they would bill it as "urgent care". Semantics!! All I know is that I didn't feel well and I wanted to get a handle on it before my return flight. Isn't that what my spendy insurance is for? I paid my $50 co-pay (rip off!) but only $4 for my prescription of penicillin. All in all, not bad. The girl in the pharmacy noticed where I worked (it was all over the forms and insurance cards) and asked me about what I did and why on earth I had left California to come to New York in the rain. I told her I was here on business. I then over heard her talking to a co-worker and say "$4. Not bad. I guess (fortune-500-company) wants to keep their employees feeling good." I kept an artificial smile on my face... if only they knew what my poor boss has been through.

I was finished with the days meetings so I returned to a rather chilly hotel room. I thought it might just be me but I now think it's seriously cold in here. That's where the blankets came in. It seems the heat is centralized and they can't do anything to make it warmer in my room. Housekeeping and maintenance instead dropped off two blankets and a space heater. Then, of course, I kept thinking "Isn't the only thing in the world more flammable than a Christmas tree a space heater?". I then felt a chill and stopped caring. I needed some warmth. I'm feeling warmer but I admit the blanket situation is grossing me out. I've seen too many Dateline and 20/20s to not be. On the other hand, I figure I've got a fist full of penicillin so I should be able to handle a questionable blanket, right? Don't answer that.

When I checked in last night I skipped the big dinner out with everyone and stayed in for some matzo ball soup. It was amazing and the only thing in the world that I wanted. Who knew a little lemongrass could be such a delightfully unexpected twist on a classic soup? I'll be having more tonight. I had the soup with a salad last night. Guess how much it set me back... Go ahead, guess. Are you ready?

$63.

I know! Soup and salad, people! I guess it's good I didn't have a hankering for a steak. Sheesh! I'm now settled in for the night. I've got TCM on tv and a New York Times. The million dollar soup will come later. I hope the good old fashioned penicillin kicks this thing before I get back on that plane. *fingers crossed*

My Superpower (Not for the faint of heart)

I believe we all have a superpower. I'm not talking about leaping over tall buildings or stopping bullets with a bare hand, I'm talking about every day ordinary abilities that we take for granted.

About a week ago we had what are known as Santa Ana winds in Southern California. The climate becomes typically warm, extremely dry and very windy. As is often the case, the dry air caused me to have a bloody nose. It doesn't happen often but I've been getting spontaneous bloody noses since I was a kid, especially during Santa Ana winds. As always, I grabbed a tissue, laid down and pinched my nose for about 30 seconds. I then sat up to confirm that the nose bleed had stopped. It then occurred to me that that is my superpower. I make really good blood, I always have. I'm O+, the universal donor type, and my blood clots quickly and efficiently. I sat on my bed, staring at the Kleenex in my hand and thought "People die because they can't do what my body just did for me."

As a result, I found myself cruising down the road to The City of Hope to donate platelets. They are always in need of whole blood but platelets are particularly hard to come by because the procedure takes some time. As I drove on to the hospital campus and towards the donor building I saw an older man, standing in a hospital gown by the fountain enjoying the sun. He broke my heart but confirmed that I REALLY hoped my blood was all I'd thought it might be. I hoped that it would help someone like him.

Once in the center, I filled out an information form and answered some questions. The good news is that I'm just the right type to be a donor. The bad news is that I've led a rather dull life. I've not traveled to exotic locales, never been to prison, I've never been a drug user and I've never had any dangerous sexual habits. In other words I'm not likely to have any blood related diseases. I'm so boring that I've even started avoiding processed foods and have never been a coffee drinker. For God's sake, my blood is about as clean as it gets.

I then met some very nice nurses who gave me heated blankets and seated me in a nice comfy recliner. They explained the whole procedure: They were going to withdraw some of my blood, remove the platelets, then return the platelet-less blood back to my body then repeat. It would take 1 -2 hours depending on how I felt after an hour. I had reading material, I had time.

The nurses at The City of Hope are good. I felt only the tiniest of pinches in the crook of my arm and I was good to go. I said "Dang! You're good." the nurse smiled and said "You're in the big time kid! This is The City of Hope." I think they have to keep an eye on you for a few minutes so I sat and chatted with my nurse. I asked what they would do with my platelets. (It was all on the web site but I'd already forgotten.) She explained that platelets help our blood clot and that when someone goes through chemo, or has an otherwise weakened system they lose their ability to produce platelets. All sorts of terrible things can happen without platelets. You can bleed into your eyes (aghhhhhhhh!) or have a stroke or God knows what. The nurse told me to think of what I was doing as "Helping a mother not have a stroke so she can go to her daughter's wedding or meet her grandchildren." She added "I'm serious. What you're doing is literally saving lives." I guess I knew that when I walked in but hadn't thought of it so literally. It was nice of her to say it to me in that way.

I learned a few fun facts too. For instance, did you now that The Red Cross sells it's blood to hospitals? I'm not bagging on the Red Cross but I was disappointed to hear that a place like The City of Hope has to spend millions buying donated blood from The Red Cross. It seems that, because I was donating at the hospital, my donation would go directly to patients in need. I will be giving my superpower blood to The City of Hope from now on.

The bigger bummer came when, after a little while, I felt a bit of pressure and a sudden ache in my transfusion arm. I told the nurse about it because once a needle is inserted you really can't feel it and I figured it should be looked into. They had told me earlier that if I felt anything, anywhere on my body change that I should notify a nurse. I'm so glad I did. The nurse jumped up to check my arm and sighed. Brace yourself... my vein had collapsed. I know, I know... gross. Honestly, it didn't hurt much at all it just felt different. I have shy veins and they are sometimes hard to find. To the nurse's credit I didn't feel anything during insertion but apparently a needle can occasionally nick a vein on the way in and later shut down. That's what may have happened to me. Who knows. That or my vein was just plain wimpy. I think when the blood was being returned to my body the vein stopped working and that was the sensation I felt. It was a TOTAL BUMMER. None of my blood would be useful to anyone. I was sad but the nurse was very kind and encouraging but we were done for the day. I promptly made my next appointment.

The nurse handed me a list of iron rich foods I should eat since I wasn't getting my intended blood back. I felt a little light headed as she walked me to the "canteen" where they insisted I eat a cookie and drink something. (Sweet!)

It is good to know that my superpower is indeed my blood. I just wish my veins could keep up. Of course, I'll go back to any place that encourages me to eat more red meat and cookies.

On the way home I drove myself to Trader Joe's and picked up a nice filet mignon for dinner. I looked for iron supplements but couldn't find any. They must have some other name. I remained light headed for a while and even thought "Oh, my blood sugar must be low." Then I reconsidered and thought "No, spaz, your blood is low." In the end, I'm no worse for wear. I was incredibly tired when I got home so I took a nap. I felt fine when I woke up an hour later. I had filet mignon and asparagus for dinner, life is good.

I apologize if this post was too graphic for anyone but I believe giving blood, in any form, is so important. If anyone out there suspects they have superpower blood I hope you'll consider donating some regularly to your local hospital or even The Red Cross. If you live near The City of Hope I encourage you to donate there. They are such nice people and they are doing exceptional work. They have made some amazing discoveries in cancer research and deserve whatever you can do to help. If nothing else, do what you can to help that nice man in the hospital gown by the fountain. Otherwise, do as I did today and think of all of those you love who have fought, or are fighting, cancer.

If you'd like to read more about becoming a donor for The City of Hope you may do so here. Thanks for listening. I hope I didn't scare anyone off.

On the other hand...

Yesterday's post was all about signs that I'm getting old. Here are a few indictations that I'm still young at heart:

• I can watch ridiculous amounts of tv when a marathon beckons. This weekend? Deadliest Catch is calling. (I know I said I was turning off the tv lately but that's on weeknights. Weekends are full throttle tv-fests!)
  
• I still want to do that cross country road trip one day. That dream never dies.
• Speaking of dreams, I still buy Lotto tickets every once in a while.
  
• I'm getting a new digital camera and may even learn how to Photoshop!
• I have been known to have popcorn for dinner.
• Well, umm, this shared challenge probably isn't the most mature but I love it!
• ... and this one was fantastic but not much more mature.
  
• I can text!
• I like this site and I'm giving these as baby shower gifts to all of my knocked-up friends.
• The Onion still slays me.
• I enjoy Farmville on Facebook.
• I own a Nintendo DS.
• When I picked up a few Fage fat free yogurts at Trader Joe's today and a moment later that lady, who had been standing there a while, let out a little groan when she reached for the last one, I thought "You gotta move faster than that sucka!"
• When I see you weaving in and out of freeway lanes in your big dumb truck I am certain you have a wee penis.

So there.

Growing up

Today I saw a ridiculously tricked out Oldsmobile on my drive home. It had a custom glittery blue paint job and sparkly chrome rims. I was far from impressed. In fact, the first thought that went through my head was, "There's a guy with some messed up priorities." Then it hit me, I'm officially old.

Of course, I've seen signs of age... err... maturity in myself for ages but I started listing them in my mind this afternoon. Here are a few indicators that I am in fact getting really old:

• I voluntarily make my bed every day (except when I'm sick).
• I voluntarily shower every day (even when I'm sick).
• I have never eaten a tub of frosting for dinner as I claimed to would "totally do" in Jr. high.
• I wait ages before buying big ticket items.
• I know how to save money.
• I've never seen "The Hills" or "The OC"
• My desire to lose weight has nothing to do with appearance and everything to do with well being.
• I voluntarily get a medical check up every year.
• I get the oil changed in my car according to guidelines of my warranty.
• I look for ways to relieve my stress
• I have a bottle of Aleve and a One-A-Day vitamins on my desk at all times. (Whoa, that's a rough one to admit.)
  
• I subscribe to National Geographic, The New Yorker and Prevention magazines and actually read them.
  
• I listen to NPR every day.
• I do not know who most of the people on Dancing with the Stars are.
• I read nutritional information in the grocery store and look for low fat/high fiber foods.
• I've seen some favorite beauty products come and go move on to discontinued status (that used to only happen to my mother).
• I'm starting to consider what to do in my "Second Act" career.
• I turn off the tv more and more lately.
• I have my hair colored every few weeks to cover the grey.
  
• I still do not own a HDTV.
• I hate going to the mall.
• I know that young people in hot cars did not buy them themselves.
  

So there are a few of the symptoms I've notice about getting old. I don't think I'm alone here... am I?

Fantastic!

How great is this idea?! The artist takes ads from the Missed Connections postings and illustrates them. I absolutely adore them. They represent just one more reason to love New York. Here is a sampling of the illustrations:

Is it just me...

I was watching 16 & Pregnant on MTV (I'm not proud of it) and saw a familiar face.

This kid popped up on the screen:

He made me think of this kid:

Ok, so who's going to tell him this is coming?


I know it's mean but sheesh! Somebody has to tell him fame is fleeting.

"New York... this is your last chance."

I collect change in a piggy bank. Well, actually I sort the pennies in a bag then put the silver coins in the piggy bank. I've doesn't this for years. When the bank is about 1/2 full it's worth $150 or so. At least that's what I thought. The other day I walked into my bedroom to find my sensible little piggy bank cracked in two and hemorrhaging silver coins all over the floor. I figured it was my niece or nephew's doing but wasn't mad. I knew that whoever it was had a little kid "Oh shit!" moment and that made me smile. Remember those moments?

I put my rather hefty bag of pennies in my purse and about half of the silver coins in another bag. I took all I could carry and headed for the Coinstar machine. I've been avoiding Coinstar because they want 9.8 cents on the dollar and that's a rip off. Unfortunately, I can't find a Wells Fargo in the area with a coin counting machine and I REALLY don't want to sit around rolling coins so Coinstar it was.

The Coinstar sits next to the "Employment Opportunities" desk/monitor at the grocery store. When I arrived, I saw a nicely dressed older African American man tapping away on the keyboard presumably filling out job application. I started dumping my coins in the machine and it sounded like damn slot machine paying out. I was watching the Coinstar screen and saw that the total was really getting up there fast. I then started feeling very guilty about cashing in so close to somebody obviously looking for a job. I even considered handing him the cash voucher but refrained. I figured he 1) might me insulted or 2) might just want something new to do during the day and therefore looking for a job or 3) could be totally opposed to my political beliefs and therefore deemed unworthy. This tactic worked and I managed to hold on to my voucher.

So, guess how much all the change I could carry was worth? Ready? $333! Of course Coinstar embezzled $30 of it, but still it was a pretty good haul. I cashed in the voucher and headed straight to Michael's to pick up a new piggy bank, since that seems to be working so well for me.

I then went to Best Buy but I'm such a dork that I didn't buy a new flat screen tv or a camera with my new found riches. Instead I picked up the newly released Season One of Rhoda on DVD. I'd heard it had recently been released and have been wanting it ever since. I then went out to lunch with Shandon.

I'm now enjoying episode two of Rhoda and I love it as much as I thought I would. I love Rhoda and Joe and Brenda and Carlton the Doorman. I love them all. Brenda gets some great lines! Remember the opening?



Speaking of openings, I opened my mail and guess what arrived today? My vehicle registration bill on Pearl. Wanna know the amount? $324. The world has a hilarious sense of humor. I always knew I was more of a Rhoda than a Mary.

**Update**
When I told Mom about my "I'm a Rhoda" stance she said "Well, hell. I could have told you that." Thanks Ma. Yup, I'm a Rhoda.