New perspective

(I'd post some pix but the connection is weak. I'll trying matching up photos as soon as I can.)

Today we stalked Laura Ingalls Wilder. Stef and I both loved Laura's adventures in her books and the show, so visiting at least one of her home towns was a must.

We headed out for breakfast and were again greeted with a "Hunters Welcome" sign. Seriously, those signs were everywhere. I must say that before this trip I had no real understanding of hunting. Now, I think I at least have a grasp. I understand it's a male bonding thing, something boys do with their dads and that it helps control certain animal populations... otherwise I didn't really get it. At one point Stef went into a gas station to get some water. When she came back she tossed a booklet in my lap. It was a hunter's guide book. It outlined the rules, required licenses and so on that were required for hunting. It reminded me of the National Baseball Leagues Official rule book. Flipping through the booklet, it became abundantly clear that hunters are in no way interested in causing suffering. Around here, hunting is something you are raised with and a rite of passage. The state outlines very specific rules that must be adhered to. The restrictions are much tighter than I ever imagined. For instance, you may not shoot a mourning dove unless it's in flight. You may not hunt until 30 minutes prior to sun up. If you're using a bow they describe the pounds of pressure necessary. Who knew?! It's all about preventing suffering while controlling the population. The wildlife population is more than the state could ever handle so why not ask the public to help out? I'm sure if I had stopped any hunter and asked about "the rules" he would have known them inside and out. I'm also sure that the whole thing is very much on a honor system. If a hunter broke any laws I feel certain a sort of black ball effect would follow. I am surprised as anyone about these revelations but I guess the most attractive part of traveling is getting a fresh perspective.

I also have a whole new appreciation for farmers. On the way to South Dakota we took the 90. On the way back to Minnesota we drove along the 14 (aka Laura Ingalls Wilder Historic Highway). The 14 is much prettier and somehow more friendly than the 90. There are farms lining the entire route. I spent much of my day trying to steal a picture of the countless barns and farmhouse disintegrating into the ground. We noticed that almost every farmhouse had an ancient, decaying barn and/or farmhouse next to it. I was fascinated by each one. I thought they were beautiful and each must have such a story to tell. I kept wondering who had built those old places I had to assume the descendants of the original builder, probably a grandson or great granddaughter, now lived next those old structures and just didn't have the heart to tear them down. I wondered where the rest of the family went. What do they do now? Sometimes we'd pass an entire complex of collapsing barns and homes and I'd wonder where that family went. Obviously, a whole life had thrived there at one time. What happened? I wanted to stop and take better pictures but it seemed too intrusive to do so because a family was usually living right there. I suppose there is something very comforting about living next to the house your grandfather built with his own hands. I wouldn't be able to tear it down either.

This trip has helped me realize that most Americans are hard working people trying to preserve their way of life. There is so much opportunity to do just that. After rolling along the 14 for several hours I became obsessed with the idea of ethanol fuel. How great would it be to have American farmers making as much money as oil men? I saw my first ethanol sticker on a gas pump today but it wasn't clear if it actually pumped the stuff. All I know is that we seem to have a heck of a lot fertile land and hard working farming families, why not depend on them for our fuel? I'm gonna look into it. If India can convert why can't we? Oh yeah, the oil companies. Well, if this weeks election is any indication, those guys should be shaking on their boots.

One of my favorite customs in middle America is waving to the car/truck as they pass you while heading in the opposite direction. Mostly it was older people waving to us. Sometimes it wasn't even a wave, a trucker would raise an index finger in our direction and that was it. For the record South Dakotans wave more frequently than Minnesotans. Eventually we discovered that if it's wearing overalls it will wave.

As this blog indicates, you tend to do a lot of thinking as you roll along the US highways.

As originally mentioned, our first destination was the Laura Ingalls Wilder Homestead in De Smet, SD. According to Shandon, it was where Laura and family lived during her teen years. (Remember Laura trying to curl her hair with a warmed pencil? Is was a pencil, or something, right?) Now, here's where touring in the off season is a bummer... the homestead was "closed for the season". Oh well, the gift store had a sign in the window inviting us to take a map and look around. We did. A small buildings had latches to keep the wind from blowing them open, but nothing was locked (except the store). We wandered around and looked inside the tiny house and the larger barn. We pumped water from the still operating hand pump (cool!). and took a peek in the outhouse. While I was disappointed the store wasn't open, it was really fun to look around on our own. It was about 40 degrees outside and the wind had really kicked up. We ducked into the small barn and immediately felt warmer. The floor was covered in hay. That stuff really is great insulation. It was still cold but SO much better in there, even with the door wide open. The house was tiny but the barn was big with a big upstairs museum-like room. I swung open the big door up there and could understand how that breeze would be great in the summer. In the middle of November it's not so fun. We made our way back to the car for a diet coke somewhere.

Next, we headed towards Walnut Grove. The house in Plum Creek is no longer there but the town has a cute gift store. We went in and I actually got a little misty when it occurred to me that my dad read every word of those books to me. How great is that? I must take a moment to point out that Laura's story had a profound impact on my life. I literally think of her and pioneers all of the time. I'm sure I've mentioned it before but it's true. My mom and I often comment that we would have made terrible pioneers.

We picked up a few souvenirs then headed to a smart business owner 's place called "Oleson's Mercantile". It's not the real place but ya gotta admit that name is great. I bet everyone else in town slapped their heads and thought "Why didn't I think of that?".

We drove around Walnut Grove a bit and really liked it. If you're interested, you can rent a loft there fore $250 per month. It's a nice place... you might want to consider it.

Somewhere along the line we decided it would be a good idea to loop back to Cracker Barrel for dinner. We were singing "Cracker Barrel here we come" to the tune "California Here I Come". It was a heck of a drive but worth it. God knows when I'll be able to eat there again so I went for it. Shandon and Norman, have no fear, I took a picture of dinner for you.

Covering a lot of land

So, remember those scary girls waving those terrible signs promoting the Anti-choice law in South Dakota? Well, they lost and we're back to that scary town to spend the night. Stef's been tormenting me all day about how this was her plan all along. The hotels in Sioux Falls were sold out and this was the next best thing. I will say that place looks much better under the dark of night and on the other side of the freeway.

As for our day it was another good one. We packed a lot in. That being said, I'll let the pix do most of the talking since it's getting late.

The wind was really blowing and whipping dead leaves up all around us. We braved the wind and visited the Deadwood Visitor's Center then walked to the #10 Saloon where Wild Bill Hickock was shot. The interior of the place looks old but they were refurbishing most of it so it was hard to get a close look at the pictures and memorabilia on the walls. We did our best to step around the workers, ladders, and newly finished floors. After a quick look around we stepped back out on to Main Street. For those interested in Deadwood history, I can tell you Hickock's killer didn't get far. He was caught across the street about three doors down.

Next we hit the Adams Museum. It has everything from the door from the last brothel in Deadwood to a small trunk brought over on the Mayflower. They had a buggy, as in "horse and buggy" and I had no idea they were so small. There were a couple of guns on display said to have belonged to Bill Hickock and Charlie Utter. If you're a fan of the show you wander around the museum and recognize a lot of names. It was fun.

We then drove up to Moriah Cemetery to visit Calamity Jane and Bill Hickock grave sites. The two rest right next to each other. It's a lovely place but we agreed that it seemed strange that folks had left coins and smokes on Hickok's grave. He does have a nice view of Deadwood though.





We then hit the road and headed towards President's Park. I'm sorry, but I love a strange roadside attraction and this one qualifies. It has 25 foot busts of every President of the United States. We walked in to pay and were greeted by an adorable 3 month old puppy named Buster. He was sliding and runnning all over the hard wood floors. We paid a small fee and again braced ourselves against the wind and started out up and around the trail to see the Presidents. (Shandon, you can tell Sean I go the pic with Harrison, as promised.) My favorite spot was the "Watergate Memorial Picnic Area". It made me laugh almost as much as the childish pic I took of me holding up a certain finger in the same frame with W. Sure it was immature but it felt good. I'd post it here but my mom is reading this and well, it just wouldn't do.

We had to get across as much of South Dakota as possible so we headed out again and stopped at Wall for some lunch. We saw even more of Wall Drug than we saw the other day. There was a whole section we missed. I'm glad we got the chance to catch it again especially for a shot of this sign:

We then headed down the 240 to see some of the Badlands. They are incredible. It was getting late, around 4:00 pm, so the light was especially dramatic and harsh on those mountains. It was beautiful but spooky. Again, being the off season, Stef and I find ourselves all alone in very barren places on this trip. I guess I just keep thinking, as usual, of the pioneers and how much they must have suffered while going west. What a nightmare. I can't even imagine how bad it must have been for the poor souls who wandered into the badlands. It's got that name for a reason. We drove about 15 minutes in and realized it was going to be an extremely long and winding road so we decided to back track and get as far as possible along the 90.

It gets so dark out here. Also, the openness is oddly unnerving to me. I'm used to mountains even if they are far off in the distance. I've never been in such a wide open place. I don't know what I think is going to happen but I know that I've never seen darker nights. It's so dark it almost looks as though there is a moonless ocean out there on the horizon or that we're driving through a pitch black tunnel. Finally, I looked up to see the most amazing expanse of stars. Eventally the moon showed up behind the clouds an washed away most of the stars but that sky was just as beautiful.

Of course we've been running around checking out the sites but we knew all about the recent political events thanks to Mom and Tony. Yes, most people I know are thrilled. One family overheard Stef and I talking about Rumsfeld resigning and exclaimed "It's about time!" In an attempt to catch up on the days events we found a PRI station and listened intently to the days events and relished every minute of it.

After a few hours of driving, we stopped at Al's Oasis for dinner and a gas stop. First we looked around the town of Chamberlain but there wasn't much in the way of restaurants so we drove back a few miles to hit Al's. Dinner was really good but Al's hosts a strange mix of people. It turns out it's hunting season and as the "Hunter's Welcome" sign indicated, the place was full of hunters. Ladies, here's some good news: there is no one in the ladies room at Al's during hunting season. (Once again, how much am I loving this off season thing?!) After dinner, and looking around the fairly large gift shop, we got some gas and made our way to our old stomping gorund, Mitchell, for a good nights sleep.

It's really late and I've got to get some sleep now. Good night! P.S. I've just looked at the blog and it looks like the photos are not lining up with my comments. I'd try to fix it but I'm beat. Sorry!

Cultural whiplash

This morning we set out for Wall Drug for breakfast and a look around. A fellow blogger commented that Wall, SD is like finding an oasis in the middle of the desert. He was so right. It's a crazy tourist trap but a good time never the less. The breakfast was good and cheap (as has pretty much every other meal we've had thus far). They have a "backyard" that features fiber glass statues to take pictures on. My favorite is the Jackalope:



We saw the much hyped Wall Drug Dinosaur, which roars every 2 minutes. It scared the bejesus outta Stef. She was standing right under it for a photo opp and the thing went wild with a bone chilling roar accompanied with smoke, red lights and a "danger" alarm. It may have been one of the funniest moments on the trip. Once we had composed ourselves, we bought some souveniers and made our way towards Mt. Rushmore.

I had been told, in no uncertain terms, that I would be disappointed with Mt. Rushmore. I was not. I found it fascinating and impressive.

I should mention that I suggest you visit Mt Rushmore in the off season. The down side is that ALL of the nearby stores and restaurants will be closed but the pay off is that you virtually have the place to yourself. Not bad for such a famous spot. We saw the short introduction film and learned how the project got started and grew, we took some great pix and walked around a bit, we bought more souveniers then decided where to go next. Stef is not a fan of driving after dark around here because there is a good chance of hitting deer on the road. It's dangerous and sad so we've been trying to wrap up our driving by sundown. We had a choice of driving through Custer State Park where we could see some buffalo roam (cool!) or check out the Crazy Horse Memorial. I said "Well, it just seems rude to not visit Crazy Horse's Monument." figuring I could visit the buffalo some other time.

Crazy Horse Memorial is 17 scenic miles from Mt Rushmore. We pulled up to the guard shack and were told it would be $10 per person for entry. Stef said "$10?! I don't think I want to do this." I said "Oh come on, it's goes towards a good cause." We went back and forth but wound up going in. Am I glad we did!! When you pull up it looks as thought there is just the monument and not much else. Then you drive down the hill a bit and see there is a shiny new visitors center.

We parked and went into the impressive center. It is a big, beautiful, wood lined structure loaded with Native American artifacts. There is a great gift shop, restaurant, sculptors studio, native artists pavilion and much more. We looked around at the artifacts then saw the introduction film. What a great story! A native elder approached an award winning sculptor, Korczak Ziolkowski, and asked him to design and sculpt a monument so "the white man will know the red man has heroes too." Ziolkowski took on the task and spent the rest of his life carving Crazy Horse out of the Black Hills. He died in 1982 but his wife and 7 of his 10 children plan to finish what their husband and father started. Nobody knows how long it will take to complete but some say it could be at least another 100 years.

We learned the site and memorial are funded entirely by private donations. Our $10 entry fee began to look pretty modest. Ziolkowski's wife, Ruth, lives on the impressive site in the original log cabin her husband built and added on to through their life. She lives there year 'round and keeps the whole project going. Several times the federal government has offered up to $10 million in funding but she has refused it every time. She and her family know that Mt. Rushmore was never finished and do not believe the government would finish the Crazy Horse project. I can't say that I blame her. I happen to LOVE the idea that the Crazy Horse monument is funded entirely from public interest. Ruth is doing a much better job than the government ever could. Eventually the site will be home to a university, a Native American museum, a medical training center and an Avenue of the Chiefs.

Again, we had the place to ourselves due to the off season timing. Check out the empty restaurant and a small section of the center:

No crowds, hoorah!!!

I've always been fascinated with Native American culture. My dad had the same interest and it obviously rubbed off on me. The center does such a great job of sharing and appreciating Native American culture. I spoke with a women at the jewelery counter and asked lots of questions. Well, actually I leaned over the counter and said "This place kicks the shit out of Mt. Rushmore. I don't mean to be rude but..." She laughed and said "Yeah, we hear that a lot." I asked why they didn't advertise more and she explained that Ruth says "If people are going to come, they're going to come." She knows they could get the job done faster with federal assistance but she wants to do it right. I then asked if money made from the sales in the gift shop went towards the project. She said 93% went to the whole project. Well, that's all I needed to hear to spend money! I got some great earrings, a CD of amazing native flute music and a book titled Custer's Fall - The Native American Side of the Story. Woo hoo!! She also explained that Ruth works along side a council who make sure everything associated with the complex is in line with Native American beliefs. For instance, they no longer sell Crazy Horse shot glasses due to the issue many Native Americans have with alcohol. They also stopped selling pipes because they learned that one tribe didn't believe in selling pipes. The cultural sensitivity brings such a sense of dignity to the place. There is certainly some tacky touristy stuff to be found but the gift shop offers a great selection of Native American art.

Here's what the sculpture will look like when it's complete (that's the real sculpture way off in the background):


Next, Stef and I had lunch in the restaurant where I tried a buffalo burger. It was great! It tastes just like beef but much more lean. (I know, I know! I was all excited about seeing buffalo roam then I end up eating one but "when in Rome...")

I could go on and on about the Crazy Horse Memorial but the bottom line is that I highly recommend spending a day there looking around then going home to brush up on Native American history.

We then made our way to Deadwood. You can't imagine how beautiful that drive is. I can tell you that I've apparently seen one too many movies about "Cowboys and Indians" because every time I looked through those trees I could vividly imagine a native perched on a horse silently watching us go by. I can see why the pioneers were so freaked out by the site of them. Those head dresses and war chants were meant to intimidate. I can't say that I blame the natives for what they felt they had to do to protect their way of life... but I digress.

We made it to Deadwood and walked the length of main street but found most of the stores were closed. There is a LOT of gambling. I expected that but... well, whatever. Main street is nice but sort of creepy this time of year and especially after dark. We were pretty much all alone on the streets and given the history of the place, well it can give a girl the chills. We had a good dinner down the street then came back to figure out what to do tomorrow.

We plan to search for Deadwood's historic sites. It should be another good day. I'll keep you posted.

Wide open spaces

The good news is that I'm on vacation. The bad news is that my plan to blog every day this month was foiled by lack of internet access. I arrived at Stef's house last night and tried every available network, I couldn't log on to save my life. Bummer! To make matters worse I turned on my computer to find all preferences had been erased along with all contents of my iTunes Library, my photo album and bookmarks. What the hell?! I leave the state and my laptop rebels? I'm so sad.

I got over it by waking early this morning and setting out to drive across Minnesota and South Dakota with Stefanie. Stef is my travel buddy. She is one of a few friends willing and able to go on and off the beaten path with me. She's the one I trusted to go to London and Dublin with last year. We tend to get excited about the same strange things on a trip. For instance, while initially planning this trip we decided Mt. Rushmore would be a fun destination. Neither one of us had been and that was reason enough to go. Once the planning process began we found the idea of visiting Wall Drug to be almost as compelling as London.

All friends warned that we could easily die on this trip. It being November in Minnesota & South Dakota, I know it can be dangerous but hearing it over and over again was a real buzz kill. Luckily weather has been great so far.

This morning we departed at 8:00 am and planned to drive out of the Twin Cities and then find a place to eat. We were planning to avoid chain restaurants but about an hour into the trip, and searching for a place to eat we saw it. In unison Stef and I shouted excitedly "Cracker Barrel?! YEA!!!".
I've heard of Cracker Barrel but I've never been. I told a few friends at work I was planning to check one out. I'm happy to report I throughly enjoyed my breakfast there. The hash brown casserole is yummy. After breakfast Stef and I wandered around and picked up a few things. All in all it was a great kick-off to our Great Plains crossing.

Once on the road again I faithfully followed my AAA Trip Tik and planned our next stop. We eventually hit the border and were greeted with this sign:


Bummer! But I can't say that I blame them. I mean what are the odds? Stef and I picked the best day of the year to make this trip. At Luchtime it was about 72 degrees. I hear that's unusual.

Once in South Dakota we started spotting the famed Wall Drug billboards. We also notice an unparalled obsession with abortion. I've never seen so many anti-choice signs in my life. I mean seriously, it's an abnormal obsession out here. Along with this disturbing trend we saw some intriguing signs for a place called the Corn Palace. Well, sign me up! Many, many miles later we pulled off the 90 and made our way towards the famed palace. The first corner off the highway we spotted these young ladies:


Frankly, we were completely freaked out. While I'm sure Mitchell is a lovely town, that was not exactly the greeting we were looking for. We were shocked. We made our way to the palace despite this grisly send off. I didn't even step out of the car. I shot this picture
and we took off. We decided Mitchell looked exactly like the small town in Halloween. Frea-ky.

Once out of Mitchell, we put some Springsteen on and I have to say I completely understand that whole Nebraska album now. We sang along to Born to Run (we suddenly knew the feeling exactly), Thunder Road (I get it) and The River (SO completely makes sense now). Then things got really strange. We drove for hundreds of miles and didn't see any sign of civilation. There was almost a full moon but I've never seen a darker place than South Dakota at night. There was some cloud cover blocking the moon and it was spooky. It's all so wide open and I somehow felt so vulnerable. I guess I learned I really like the cover of trees. I don't know how on earth native Americas much less pioneers survived out here. There is nothing to protect one from the elements or each other. I couldn't get over it.

We eventually made it to today's final destination: Wall, South Dakota. I must say I'm very happy with the hotel we picked. We registered with a very nice motherly woman who recommended a good restaurant. When we returned after dinner, she was seated on the lobby couch next to an elderly woman. They were watching the Country Music Awards and knitting. It was so comforting.

That's pretty much the news for that day. Next stop... Mt Rushmore!

Wish me luck on getting WiFi access tomorrow.

... and don't forget to VOTE!!!

P.S. To those wondering, I voted "Absentee". You didn't think I'd skip an opportunity to voice my opinions did you?

Blog or perish!

(Disclaimer: Freakin' Blogger.com is acting up. It's been difficult to post entries but I will prevail!)


I've committed to post a blog a day for the month of November. I've leaving for vacation tomorrow and plan to keep blogging as long as I have web access. I hope to have a good picture or two to share.

I'm traveling across the great plains and I hear it can get a bit nippy out there. Being a California girl I don't have any idea how to handle such weather so I just plan to layer. I also bought these obnoxious shoes. They were reasonably priced and looked comfy so... sold! I figure if a freak snow storm hits the search and rescue folks should be able to spot those beauties. .. I got them in magenta. Oh yeah.

Tag, you're it!

Trooper tagged me so here goes:

More about me

1) How old do you wish you were? Exactly the age I am...40!

2) What do you do when vending machines steal your money? Get annoyed then look around for someone to help me retrieve my money.

3) Do you have a tattoo? Or if you were to get a tattoo, where would it be? No. But if I did it would be hidden.

4) Do you know your neighbors? Very casually. My favorite is Ben. He lives up the street and I see him every morning as he passes by with his dog Jack.

5) What do you consider a vacation? Days away from work. Even if I'm home, if I don't have to think about work it's a vacation.

6) Are you touchy feely? Yes.

7) Showers or Baths? Showers but if I had access to a great tub I'd be taking a lot of baths to relax.

8) Favorite place to go on weekends? Lunch and/or movies with friends. I also love a good road trip.

9) Do you trust people easily? Not really. Even in pre-school I'd stand back and assess the school yard before choosing a seemingly normal kid to befriend.

10) What are your phobias? The older I get the more uncomfortable I am in extremely close quarters. Planes and elevators are fine but I don't think I'd enjoy an MRI very much.

11) Do you keep a handwritten journal? I've tried but I always lose interest. This blog is the closest I've come to ever keeping any kind of record of my life.

12) Where would you rather be right now? In Hawaii, with my boyfriend George Clooney. (Sorry, Lynn!)

13) What makes you feel warm and fuzzy? Hugs from my family.

14) Heavy or light sleep? Super-light. It's a bummer. I travel with earplugs after the jack-hammer incident of '04.

15) Favorite Color? Red

16) Name three things you have on you at all times? Hair product, moisturizer, clean underpants

17) What is your favorite part of the chicken? Skinless white meat

18) What's your favorite city? It's a toss up between New York and London

19) I can't wait until: I step off the plane to my vacation Sunday night.

20) How tall are you barefoot? 5'10"

21) Have you ever smoked pot? Yup. And I singed my bangs on the poorly constructed bong.

22) Do you own a gun? No. But I lived with a friend who owned one. I figured I should know how to use it if I was living in the house with me. My friend and I went to a shooting range and I learned I'm a regular Annie Oakley!

23) What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Hot tea

24) What time did you wake up today? 3:30 am, stayed up for an hour then fell asleep again until 7:28. Oops!

25) Chocolate or Vanilla? Ya know, it used to be chocolate, but the older I get the more I'm loving vanilla.

26) People you would like to tag? The people I'd like to tage don't have blogs (booooooooo!).

and you are...?

Today I met a co-worker's wife. The introduction went something like this:

Lucy: Hi, I'm Lucy. It's nice to meet you.
Co-worker (to me): I always talk about the people at work...
Co-worker (to wife): Lucy is the one who...
Lucy: Oh God. What is my claim to fame? Is it that Richard Simmons licked me?
Co worker: ...
Co-worker's wife: ...
Lucy: Um, it's a long story.
Co-worker: Actually, it's that you stayed at Charo's house in Hawaii.
Co-worker's wife: Oh, yeah.

Wow, that was embarrassing.

They wanted to know how the Charo's house thing happened. You may be wondering too so here's the deal: I was dating a guy whose lesbian cousin wanted to marry her partner. At the time, gay couples could marry in Hawaii. They rented Charo's house and we all spent the week in a cool house with fun people and had a great time. I highly recommend renting Charo's house to anyone looking for a great vacation house for a big family gathering/same sex marriage. Get enough people together to chip in and it's pretty cheap.

As for the Richard Simmons episode, it went like this: A friend called asking if I wanted to go to a Richard Simmons aerobics class. I figured, if nothing else, it would be an interesting life experience. It was. We went to Mr. Simmons' studio and braced ourselves. Think what you will but the man has A LOT of hard core fans. I don't ordinarily count myself amoung them but I was impressed with his aility to get those fans going. There were a couple of people in the back sitting on chairs. They were very big people but I remember thinking how great it was that the guy could inspire people to get out and excersise even if it was from a chair. I thought that was a pretty great accomplishment. The odd thing is that he's a actually terrible instructor. You'd think he'd be pretty good with all of that experience but I found him very difficult to follow. To be fair, I hadn't been to an aerobics class in ages, and had lost all sense of rhythm but still, he sort of sucked. Well, anyway at one point Dick shimmied over to me, and for some strange reason, leaned over and licked me from my collar bone up to my ear lobe. (Ewww!) Needless to say, I was shocked. Even if wanted that kind of attention I certainly wouldn't want it during a sweaty work out and definaltey not from a gay, dolphin-wearing man. I didn't know what to say or do so I just looked him in the eye and said "What you're doing here is amazing." For about 2 seconds he dropped the whole Richard Simmons character, looked me in the eye and said "Thank you." Then he turned around and was back in character. It was bizarre and unexpected. All I know is that it must be exhausting being that man.

Trick or Treat!

I had another fun Halloween night at my brother's house. He and his family live in an area that draws huge trick or treater crowds. It wasn't as busy as last year but we were doing pretty brisk "business" nonetheless.

My bother was, sadly, out of town on business so his wife needed a hand passing out candy while she took the kids trick or treating. I sat on the front porch with a giant bowl of candy and braced myself.

I can't help it, Halloween brings out the Emily Post in me. I'm typically on etiquette patrol and last night was no different. Kids started arriving and I must say the majority were extremely polite. I received many a "thank you" and dispensed countless "Happy Halloween!" wishes. Occasionally, a slack-jawed kid would approach me with an entirely clueless technique. Many don't seem to understand the tradition of shouting out "Trick or Treat" in exchange for candy. When a kid just walked towards me with an open bag and nothing to say I would whisper "What do you say?". It usually freaked them out and, in a panic, more than one replied "Thank you?". I'd correct them with "NO! Trick or Treat." They would say it then greedily look into their bag to see what I'd dropped in there.

One poor teen made the unfortunate decision to open his phone in front of me while holding his bag open. As you can imagine, that didn't go over well. I said "Hey! There are no phone calls during a mid-trick-or-treat! No candy until you turn that thing off." He whined "But someone is texting me-eeee." I stared him down as his friends snickered at him then said "I'm here with candy, what are they doing for you?". He closed the phone, said trick or treat, I handed over some candy and even got a "Thank you". Amazing!

In a genius maneuver, my sister-in-law picked up some one ounce Play-Doh tubs to hand out with the candy. They were a big hit from the little kids on up to the teens. I highly recommend passing out small, retro toys along with candy. It might smell a little funny, but who cares?

P.S. As usual, while searching for an image to upload I found a super-cool site. How fun is this? They have a section titled "Things That Shoot". Need I say more? Except maybe "Umm, that's funny." So is that.

Back to school

Today I went to work in my new office, err, cubicle. It's actually pretty nice but it's still a cube. I now sit in a space made mostly of a shower door type of glass. The work space is designed to take full advantage of natural light. We are therefore being asked to resist the incredible urge to hang black out curtains to cover the shower door glass. We can, however, hang sheets of decorative transparent paper to help prevent the fishbowl feeling. My cube has a "closet" but really it's a locker. I've decided to put up a mirror and a Tiger Beat centerfold of Shaun Cassidy to complete the effect.

My friends and I ate lunch in the new commissary. Why do I just know we will end up commandeering the same table day after day? It felt just like junior high. We're talking lunch trays and everything. Unbelievable, I turn 40 and it's back to this. Where did I go wrong?

P.S. Don't get me wrong. I'm totally getting a piece of this (and this) action.

Dear Selfish Witch

To the selfish whore who buys up See's Candy Chocolate chips by the case, I hate you. Yeah you!

I dropped by my local See's Candy store to pick up my all-time-favorite chocolate chips and was informed you had bought two case of chips a couple of days ago. That spells "Out of stock" for me. Well, I hope you're happy. You completely took the wind out of my sails. I was going to make chocolate chips cookies for tonight's event but nooooooo. You selfishly bought up every last chip. What kind of maniac buys cases of chocolate chips without special ordering them? What are the rest of us supposed to do? You and I both know the big chips are the best. Those wimpy mini chips you left behind are for sissies. The sales staff claims more chips are on the way and, believe me, I'll be there first. Game on, sister!

Why I'll burn in hell

Due to a ridiculous work schedule, the powers brought lunch in for us. While scanning the options, the following conversation took place:

Temp: They just passed gay marriage in New Jersey!
Lucy: Oh, that's great! Sorry about the New Jersey part though.
Temp: It's so exciting!
All: ...
Lucy: More importantly, is that chicken salad or tuna salad?
Other co-worker: Did you really just say that?
Lucy: Sorry... priorities!!

(Let's be clear, one of my best friends happens to be gay and even he would understand the urgency of selecting the correct free lunch and the need to stay focused.
I do realize I'll burn though.)

Awww!

Today I heard one of the sweetest stories I've ever heard:

My nephew's friend sent him a note of condolence about losing his grandfather. (I should mention that they are both seven years old.) While I'm sure this friend's mom had something to do with it, it was adorable. He wrote something like "I'm very sorry to hear about your grandpa. He is a fun grandpa and I know you're a good grandson and you must be very sad. I'm so sorry." Here's the kicker: he folded a five dollar bill and a baseball card in the note.

Ok seriously, how cute is that?! I've always really liked him, but I swear that kid has earned a permanent soft spot in my heart for being so thoughtful and trying so hard to cheer up my nephew. I just love him for the gesture.

I'm 40 and I like to KICK!

So, after yesterday's sad loss of life today is all about celebrating my own old-assed life. Today is my 40th birthday. All day long I've been imitating that Molly Shannon character, Sally O'Malley, who runs around saying "I'm 50 and I like to KICK!" Not everyone understands it but it makes me laugh.

A friend made 4 dozen cupcakes for my afternoon birthday party at work. She decided it would be really funny to light up 40 candles. I blew them out but, honest to God, the resulting smoke almost set off the alarm. How great would that have been?! It no doubt would have brought me my 15 minutes of fame.

Tonight I'm off to have dinner with some great friends from high school. They've already celebrated their 40th birthdays. We've decided to throw ourselves a wrap party for our 30's. Not sure when that will be but I'll be sure to blog about it.

So many tears

Tonight I sat across the room and watched my sister-in-law tell her kids that their grandfather had died. It was the toughest sight I've ever seen. She was magnificent and I am in awe of her gifts as a mother.

Farewell Paul. You know I loved you. I hope I'm worthy of seeing you on the other side.

What?!

I was thinking about getting ahead of my Christmas shopping this year. In particular, I was thinking of an aunt who is a devout Catholic. I was looking for a rosary, greeting cards or candles. You know, something respectful that she would appreciate.

I found this site and, as usual, was drawn immediately to the bizarre. Can somebody please explain this to me? It seems so weird. I've never imagined Jesus playing sports. Now the images are burned in my brain. I can't shake them!

Thanks a lot Catholicshopper.com!

At least they didn't put a helmut on Jesus. I'm thinking Jesus wouldn't need a helmut, so at least they got that part right. But wait, is that kid trying to tackle Jesus?! That can't be a good idea!

*sigh*

Don't mess with me

So, remember that annoying client that keeps calling me on my cell? Well, she called again and left another message. Here is the email I sent her as a reply:

I do not manage your contract. PLEASE stop calling my cell phone number. I have a family member literally dying in the hospital and every time you make my phone ring it makes my heart stop.

I know your Account Manager and tech support are aware of your problems. Please forward your questions to them.

Thank you.

I know it was really mean to send that email but the weirdo just wouldn't step off. I would just die if I ever received anything like that but I don't stalk people who have nothing to do with my business. Needless to say, I haven't heard from her since.

Sad

I haven't been blogging much lately because my sister-in-law's dad is very sick. I'm just feeling blue and helpless about the situation. To put a very long and sad story short, I may have been the last person to talk with him. That breaks my heart. I never intended to be that person. I feel unworthy. It should have been his wife or kids not his son in law's sarcastic sister.

Sorry to be a Debbie-downer but that's what's been going on with my family.

To make matters worse, some jerk gave my cell number to an idiotic client. We're working on budgets right now and she's having technical difficulties. My cell phone is used, lmost exclusively, for personal use. Every time it rings my heart stops. This financial freak-show called me at 9:02 this morning wanting to know when her problem would be fixed. I thought about telling her I was going through a family crisis and to LOSE my number but I thought she might have a heart attack. Instead, I told her that I don't handle her account (did I mention that she is in no way my problem?!) and that her account manager was working on it (you freakin' stalker!). Now, I'm just not answering calls from her area code. I know... very mature, huh?

The one bit of good news I can share is that I finally received my absentee ballot. Thank God! I can stop harping on that subject now.

White man tryin' to keep the brown girl down

Today, I acted like the old lady I'm becoming and actually called the LA County Registrar Recorder and asked where the hell my sample and absentee ballots were. The clerk confirmed that they had been sent a few days ago and may in fact even be waiting at home for me.

I asked him why my Republican mother gets her voting info about 2 weeks before my Dad and I, both Democrats, get ours. He said the info is sent at the same time. I commented that it must be the Postal Service. He sort of shrugged then asked what party my mom was. When I said "Republican" he said "Figures." He then said he was a Democrat as well. I wished him luck getting his ballot.

A friend, who also lives in my incredibly red town, said the same thing happens in her household. What's going on? I'm going to start keeping track of this stuff, like the old lady I am, and go to the Post Office with it in a couple of years. This could shape up to be my all time favorite letter writing campaign!

Have I mentioned that Im' a big letter writer? When things annoy me, I'm more than willing to write or email the culprit. I highly reccommend the practice. It's very satisfying and often results in free stuff. Give it a try some time. You'll like it.

In the mean time, remember to fight the power!

Oops

Last night I stopped my my pharmacy to pick up my pills. (Yes, those pills.) Well, I got to my pharmacy too late... they were closed. Bummer. The rest of the store was open so I did what any resourceful woman would do, I shopped for makeup. I selected a God awful shade of liquid makeup because I heard "older" women should avoid powder foundation like the plague. It can actually make me look older *gasp*! I'm here to tell ya selecting the wrong shade does you no favors either.

Anyway, after wandering up and down the aisles for a while, the clouds parted and I found these. I am officially in heaven. Who says "size doesn't matter"? When it comes to our old friend Bonnie Bell, size matters A LOT. (Remember that big brown bottle of Ten - 0 Six astringent? What did the name mean?) I remember Lip Smackers from my childhood and I'm thrilled they have decided to bring the girth-y ones back. I know it's difficult to see, but these are the big, fat Lip Smackers of old. They are not quite as fat as I recall but it could be because my head was smaller back then. No matter, they're still super cool and make me very happy. I chose the Watermelon/Cherry flavor. I passed it around at lunch today so everyone could get a good sniff. We all agreed that it smells like junior high. They didn't have Kool Aid flavors back then but it tastes like the cherry flavored Smacker I remember. If you're a purist, you may be happier with the traditional soda flavors. I used to have Dr. Pepper and Orange Crush. I think I need to get these next. Why did it take so long for me to rediscover Lip Smackers? I think it goes back to the size. We've missed those fat Smackers because they're the best!

So, next time you miss picking up your slutty pills, be sure to pick up a taste of your childhood instead. (What?!) One whiff of your favorite flavor and you'll forget all about your demanding uterus. I plan to have a "Biggy" in my purse from here on out. Long live Lip Smackers!!!!!!!

P.S. If you have no idea what I'm talking about here then you are are too young to be reading this. Shoo! On the other hand, if you do know what I'm talking about, but Lip Smackers just weren't your thing, then look here. You must have a soft spot for some of those. Love's Baby Soft? QT? Come on! I, for one, still know exactly what Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific smelled like and I miss it! I know my hair smelled terrific during the late 70's and, if you're any friend of mine, yours did too.

Food for thought

Anyone who drops by this blog, or knows me personally, knows that voting is a pretty big deal to me. I think of the suffragettes every time I stand at a polling booth and send out a little thank you to them.

Before each election I try to do a little homework while completely ignoring all television commercials. It can be tricky but I think it's important.

My big beef lately is that I think it shouldn't be difficult to figure out who is supporting candidates and propositions. I don't believe big business should be allowed to hide behind bogus names to hide their identity. If a company is supporting something or someone, I think voters should know it and that information should be mandatory on all proposition/candidate advertisements and web sites.

While searching for who supports who in the upcoming election, I found the following rather intriguing sites. I'm incredibly suspicious of most everything having to do with politics but these seem like pretty good bets:

This one is fascinating! I love being able to see where Chevron is sending checks.
Check out who's spending what and where?
I've just discovered Vote Circle and so far I like it.
Of course, there is the old reliable League of Women Voters if you're looking for an impartial set of facts. (Here is the site for the LWV for California. )
If you aren't registered to vote, for the love of God, do so here or here or here or many other sites.
Oh, and do read your voter guide.

And for the record, I think most people in this country share the same "values" and that we basically want the same things. I blame politicians, and their campaigns, for polarizing our country and distracting us with emotional issues. Issues that, frankly, will never really effect those so upset by them. Please try not to get caught up in these tactics. Keep your facts straight and don't side blindly with anyone. Whatever you do, stay well informed and vote accordingly.

Happy decision making!


Disclaimer: My intention is not to be preachy. I just like the idea of folks being as informed as possible when voting. Above all, I like to share helpful sites as I find them. I hope you find something of interest here.

Bossy Boots strikes again

Today I toured the new building we're moving to in a few weeks. It's mostly cubicle space and many are still being assembled. It was very loud not only from men hammering away at cubicles but also from a dozen of us walking around pointing and asking many questions. At one point some guy from the crew shouted (with his back to us) "Fucking Bitch!". He had just rounded a corner down the hall and I have no idea who he was speaking to. I also have no idea what came over me when I shouted "HEY!". As if to say "Excuse me jerko, there are ladies present. Please refrain from exhibiting your potty mouth." He was startled and said "Sorry" before shuffling off.

My friends all laughed at me. I said "I know! As I were a lady or something. Who do I think I am?!" I think I'm just always set to "bossy" these days. On the bright side, I may have gotten a co-worker the big cubicle by being bossy so maybe it's not all bad. We'll see.

P.S. I still don't have my ballot. The conspiracy theory gets stronger every day.

So blue...

Because I'll be driving the plains of South Dakota on election day, I'm getting a little sweaty about where my damn sample ballot is. I need to request an absentee ballot and it hasn't arrived yet.

Yesterday, I found out my mother, The Republican, has not only received her sample ballot but also her absentee ballot. Meanwhile, my dad and I, Democrats, have received nothing. Dad claims Mom ALWAYS gets her ballots before he does. We live in a blue state but a very red city. Dad and I have decided it's a conspiracy to keep the blue voters down. On the other hand, the one benefit of being blue in a red city comes when I go to vote in primaries. There is a depressing sea of Republican booths and one lone Democrat booth in the corner. I LOVE sweeping by all of those GOP booths to vote in my little booth with my head held high. It's the reason I've never voted absentee. I love going to the booth that I suspect only about a dozen of us use. I like thinking about some disgruntled Republican having to set it up for me, then waiting all day to watch how many of us show up. It's a little mean spirited, I admit, but it gives me a little thrill.

My hope is that by blogging about this I'll get home tonight and my ballot will be waiting for me. I'll keep you posted.

The Cane Mutiny

SO, today my Mom jetted off to her big high school reunion.

Something to note about my mom is the fact that she's had one knee replaced. The other probably needs to be replaced but she's not too excited about the lengthy recovery so she's been avoiding it. In the mean time, she's been using a cane when she's unsure of the distance she'll need to cover. Because she had a lay-over today, she took the cane.

I called her today when I knew she had reached her final destination. Here is a sampling of the conversation:

Me: How was your flight?
Mom: It was great! I walked up to check in and a lady saw my cane and checked me in without making me stand in line! She gave me a better seat, closer to the front of the plane, so I wouldn't have to walk as far. THEN, when I landed for the lay over, they had a cart waiting for me!
Me: Tell me, you didn't get on one of those carts with the spinning lights on top.
Mom: I sure did. That man picked me up at the gate are tore off like a bat outta hell. I had to hang on for dear life. He was driving so fast my hair was flying all over the place.
Me: Oh jeez...
Mom: The best was when he'd pull up behind people talking on their cell phones. He'd beep his horn and yell "Excuse Me! Out of the way!!" They were diving out of our way. I asked if he'd ever hit anyone and he said "Yup." (Laughs.) My hair was a mess!!
Me: I always wondered who the fools on those things were.
Mom: Well, they're old handicapped people like your mother!! I'm carrying this cane from now on!

You know you're in Texas when...

I got back from an overnight trip to Texas this afternoon. I would have done a "Greetings From" blog but I forgot my work laptop and don't like to travel with my personal laptop.

A friend moved to Texas a couple of weeks ago so we met for dinner. She is reeling from the following "You-know-you're-in-Texas-when" moments:

• You have to bite your tongue when you introduce yourself to your neighbor and learn his name is Forrest.
• Several people remark "You're not from here are you?"
• You stop by Lowes and discover the spray paint cans are on open shelves, not locked in cages.
  
• You're constantly startled to find people actually say "y'all".
• You realize you've accidentally purchased a house in a "dry" county. Bummer!
• You hear a radio commercial claiming Babe's makes "a pee-can pie so good you'll wanna slap your mama!"

On our way to get some delicious Texas BBQ, a car pulled up beside ours blaring music. I commented "You know you're in Texas when you hear that." Instead of the typical loud hip-hop or rap the kids tend to blast in California, the Texan youngster blasted country music. My friend's husband shouted from the back seat "No way! Roll down the window, are you sure?!" I was right, that kid was blasting some contmeporary country ballad-y sounding thing. Now that's weird! I had to resist the urge to roll down the window, lean out and say "Aww! You're so cute!" I resisted because I happen to know it's legal to pack heat in Texas. I can, however, tell you I much prefer the country intrusion to the rap.

Something else I noticed, while flying out of Dallas/Fort Worth, was the number of uniformed soldiers on board the flights. I finally asked a colleague about it. He explained that DFW is a hub for many soldiers coming from and going on to active duty. I must admit it made me feel somewhat safer with a half dozen soldiers on board. They were a bit loud, and that normally would have annoyed me but I figured they had earned the right to be a little chatty.

When we landed in LA I waited for my colleague at the gate and noticed a young mother, with two small children along with an older man wielding a video camera, clearly waiting for someone to disembark. I didn't think much of it until a soldier step off and was jumped by what must have been his daughter. The scene really broke my heart. On one hand it was heart warming to see a young family obviously back together again after a long separation. On the other hand, I almost broke down thinking about how little time they would have together. Was he off on leave? Where had he been? What had he seen? Would he be going back? Would he be ok? Off to the side stood another young soldier. The reunited soldier quietly asked his family if they had room for the other soldier. They said "yes" and off they went. I couldn't help but think "Sheesh, you'd think the least we could do would be to get a soldier all the way home or to a hotel until family could get to them." It's all so sad. No matter what you think of the war, seeing such young soldiers in desert fatigues really gets to you.

I hope that second soldier has made his home by now.

The makings of a weekend (or "The Link Happy Blogger!")

I took a couple of days off to go to Disneyland and The Getty. I had a great time doing both but I wish someone had told me that this is break time for year round schools. Bum-mer!

At one point HVK and I became remarkably thirsty at Disneyland so we got a couple of frozen lemonades at a cart. We sat down in the shade to enjoy them and here is what happened:

HVK: Grasping throat, "Oh my God! Do you ever get that painful frozen throat thing?"
Lucy: "Umm, no?"
HVK: Immediately slapping her forehead, while still clasping her throat, "Ooooowwwww! Brain freeze!!!"
Lucy: After taking my first sip, grabbing jaw: "Lightning! Lightning! Oh, my teeth!!!"

What a sight we must have been. I told HVK it must have looked like we had been fighting an had just finished punching each other. Well, then the scary, wheezing, laughing began followed by the howling. I would like to formally apologize to any kids we may have frightened.

Here is how I will be recovering and spending the remainder of my long weekend (I promise I'll try not to scare any more children. Unless, of course, they are related to me.):

Trader Joe's - I won $25 "Shopping Spree" and it's time to spend it.
The Dodgers are still hangin' on and I plan to cheer them on as long as I can.
The Melting Pot - Yum!
My niece and nephew are coming over for a sleep over. I'll be hearing a lot of this and this.
Simply Sleep - To help recover from the sleep over.

My Tivo will be working extra hard this weekend and into next week recording the following from TCM:
Imitation of Life - Is this the one where the down and out housewife takes her maid's family pancake recipe and makes a mint selling them in her chain of restaurants while the maid remains her maid. I have to Tivo it to see for myself.
Humoresque - Joan Crawford as a "wealthy neurotic"? Sign me up!
The Women - One of my all time favorites. Not exactly a feminist rebel yell of a film but it's damn funny and it features Rosalind Russell at her best.
Double Indemnity - I've already seen this a few times this year but I'll be watching again.
The Day the Earth Stood Still - I've never seen this but I've been meaning to. Here is my big chance.
A Conversation with Gregory Peck - *sigh* So dreamy...
Complicated Women - Sounds cool!
Hush ... Hush, Sweet Charlotte - I love it when Bette plays LOCO!
Gaslight - For those who know me: If you haven't already seen this, please do so now so you'll understand my frequent references to it.
The Clock - Awww!

The evening of October 13th looks like a good time!

Guilty! From a guy who knows.

Normally, I'd be LOVING this whole Foley scandal but because the man is a child predator it just takes all the fun out of it. I guess I prefer my political scandals between grown ups.

The one bright moment to come from this whole scandal came from a surprising source yesterday.

I've recently discovered Keith Olbermann's Countdown. I was watching Keith go when I heard the following show, Scarborough Country, would feature a chat with Pat Buchanan. Yes, that Pat Buchanan. The Pat Buchanan who drove me from the Republican Party back in the 80's. (I know, I know! I was young and foolish and the GOP got me to register to vote first. I saw Pat Buchanan speak at a subsequent Republican Convention and promptlyswitched parties.) Well, come on, the guy is nothing if not great for making a scene. I'm here to tell you, Pat's is starting to look a little long in the tooth and that too takes the wind out of my sails. No matter, I eagerly anticipated Pat's response to this whole scandal and old man Buchanan delivered. Here is the exchange:

BUCHANAN: ...The Republican House doesn‘t know how to fight as a unit. They‘re all turning on each other. The damn—the press is all over their case. They‘re running and hiding and saying, He did it, and I didn‘t know about Foley, and it‘s just a ridiculous—and there's no reason to reelect a House that behaves like this!

SCARBOROUGH: Pat, you know what it makes me long for? The days of Ehrlichmann and Haldeman. Now those guys knew how to circle the wagons, baby!

(LAUGHTER)

BUCHANAN: Well, you know, we survived for 18 months and... we were guilty*!

(LAUGHTER)

SCARBOROUGH: You sure as hell did! You sure as hell did. And if that helps you sleep better tonight, Pat Buchanan, then God bless you!


Now that's funny.

* It should be noted that I got this exchange from MSNBC's online transcripts but the punch line was mysteriously missing. I had to add it in red. Not sure why they would scrub Pat Buchanan's admission of guilt but I guess that's just how today's "journalism" works.

South Dakota Lies

I've booked my flight to Minneapolis. I'm all set for the road trip to Mt. Rushmore. My traveling companion, Ethel, has asked some locals about our thoughts on going around South Dakota. They all say "Just drive straight through... trust me." This time of year it's apparently 8 hours of dead corn fields. Bet you can't wait to see those pix. Because we are both California natives we're used to driving through long stretches of desert. We're told it's similar driving.

Well, Ethel and I decided a must-see is the Laura Ingalls Wilder Historic Highway. According to this site we can pay our respects and visit Laura's grave... I'M SO THERE!!! Shandon, I promise to give your regards.


While doing some research Ethel found that South Dakota takes a lot of credit for being the home state of dear old Laura even though the famed Maple Grove and the Little House in the Woods are both, in fact, in Minnesota. We think South Dakota is being awfully greedy about taking credit here. Ultimately, Ethel emailed me regarding her concerns and stated "South Dakota Lies!". I liked the sound of it so I've decided that's should be the theme of this trip: "South Dakota Lies!" (including exclamation point) and we're in search of the truth. I plan to collect photographic evidence of the lies and report back on my fair blog.

Speaking of (a different variety of) fair, is it unfair to judge a state by it's AAA Tour Book? I ask because the great state of California requires TWO books to cover all of the exciting places to visit. On the other hand North Dakota, South Dakota, Minnesota, Iowa and Nebraska all share ONE book. It's sort of sad don't you think? I'd hate for my my state to have to share with others. My mom says I'm a snob and that out Tour Book is bigger only because we have more cities. I argue that we have more cities because there are more cool places to live.

All dressed up and too sick to go

Lately I've suffered from some annoying stomach flu symptoms. Today was especially bad, throughout the day I took Pepto Bismal, Tylenol and Immodium AD.
Unfortunately, none of it helped enough to get me out the door this evening to help celebrate Norman's birthday.

Sorry Norman! As mentioned, we'll do something next weekend. (Unless, of course, I've got that E coli thing that's been going around.)

Reading between the lines

Because I've been annoyed with most politicians lately, I was really not in the mood to be insulted by the President... again.

I wrote him an email that basically asked him to stop insulting the majority of the country. I went on to say something like: Most citizens disagree with your actions and policies and you continue to call us naive, freedom-hating, terrorist-loving morons and we're getting sick of it. Knock it off.

I got the following as a reply (Needless to say, the comments in red are mine.):

On behalf of President Bush, thank you for your correspondence (you whiny pain in the ass). We appreciate hearing your views and welcome your suggestions (we won't listen, but thanks for trying). The President is committed to continuing our economic progress (ha), defending our freedom (ha ha), and upholding our Nation's deepest values (Yeah, we know. Even we have to laugh at this point. But seriously, he's trying... except the part about swearing to uphold and protect the Constitution, he's not really into that part). Due to the large volume of e-mail received (i.e. complaints, letters of disappointment and general hate mail), the White House cannot respond to every message (only the ones we like). Please visit the White House website for the most up-to-date information (propaganda) on Presidential initiatives, current events, and topics of interest to you (aka the tiny bits of good news we're still able to spin). In order to better receive (i.e. avoid) comments from the public, a new system has been implemented. In the future please send your comments to comments@whitehouse.gov. Thank you again for taking the time to write (Now, piss off).

Whether you agree with me or not, I encourage you to write to the generic "comments" link above as often as possible.

Happy Friday!!!

Blind leading the blind

So, a friend of mine moved to Minneapolis last year. I've been meaning to visit her ever since, it just hasn't happened. Well, I'm finally taking a week off to see the fair city of Minneapolis and take another road trip from there. We're going to drive from Minneapolis to Mt. Rushmore and back. Like the famed Diners & Disasters trip, we've already established the "no chain restaurants" rule. Some rules are golden.

My friend and I had a ridiculous phone conversation, last night, highlighting our ignorance of US geography. For instance, did you know that Deadwood is in South Dakota? Well I didn't. I thought it was in the corner of Wyoming. I was close, but close won't win in "Jeopardy!".

Here's a sampling of the conversation:

Friend: We can drive to Mt Rushmore in one day right?
Me: Um, it's sort of a long way. I think we could get there in two days. There's some pretty big city on the way. We could stop around there and stay the night.
Friend: Hold on, let me get a map.
Friend: ...
Friend: Lucy! Mt. Rushmore is all the way across South Dakota!!!
Me: I know! (... but only because I received a killer US map with my last issue of National Geographic. A publication I should, apparently, be paying more attention to.)
Friend: Sioux Falls is on the way. Is that where you want to stop? Really? Sioux Falls?!
Me: I don't know, I just know some place I've heard of is on the way.
Friend: You know South Dakota is a crazy red state right? We have to spend as little money as possible there. We can't support them.
Me: Bummer! What's North Dakota?
friend: I think they might be blue. (We later learned they are red.)
Me: We could drive around South Dakota and check out North Dakota on our way.
Friend: Yeah, we could go to Fargo!!
Me: ...
Friend: ...
Me: What's in Fargo?
Friend: ...
Friend: That Paul Bunyun statue!! Don't you want a picture with him?!
Me: YEAH!!!!!

It should be an interesting trip.

P.S. While searching for a Paul Bunyan statue photo to include in this blog, I tripped on a whole new goal in life: to see the county by visiting Paul Bunyan statues. Just look at how many there are!!

It's Official

As past posts indicate, I've long considered myself a proud "Wing-nut Liberal".

Today a friend sent me this link to get an actual ranking of just how liberal I am. Here are the results:

On Non-Fiscal Issues, you rank as a Strong Liberal (15)

On Fiscal Issues, you rank as a Strong Liberal (19)

My score is on a scale of 0 to 100, with 0 being fully liberal and 100 being fully conservative.

I know others consider "Liberal" a dirty word/label but it's one I'm proud to wear. To me, it just says I'm open-minded and willing to at least consider all sides to an issue. The thing that really offends me is the way the GOP pimps Christ to further their agenda. It makes no sense to me! Christ was one of the all time greatest liberals. How'd we let them get Him anyway? Who do they think they're kidding. Oh yeah, the entire GOP!