The internet keeps getting better

So, just when I thought nothing could top People of Walmart a friend introduces me to the delights of Texts from Last Night. The tag line of the blog is "Remember that text you shouldn't have sent last night? We do." I know!!! They are supposedly real texts that have been submitted to the site from lucky recipients. I don't know how real some of them are but they are so entertaining that I just don't care .

Many of the texts are just plain gross but others are hilarious. Above all it makes me incredibly grateful that texting didn't exist when I was in college. Phones were tragic enough. Texting is officially so much worse.

So far I like these:

• "i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section"
• "sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night"
• "i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out."

I don't know how long I'll find this site amusing but it sure is cracking me up tonight.

Enjoy!

DLTLMFGYD

I cried at work today. This is the second time I've cried in 8 years at my current place of employment. My boss is currently out on stress leave so I'm doing both of our jobs and I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. Trouble is I don't want to complain because I don't want to be classified a cry-baby or trouble maker. People are too easily misclassified at work and I just don't want a new label.

Instead I did what any reasonable grown up who needs to cry at work does, I sat in a stall and silently cried for five minutes, dried my tears and went back to work. I was teary for about 30 minutes afterward but my boss' boss saw me with watery eyes and high tailed it out of my cubicle. I think I'll keep some Visine on hand from now on.

I later saw a friend puffy eyed and crying in her office. She had just shut the door after returning from her boss' office. I tapped on the glass wall of her office and sat with her and laughed through tears as I said "What's going on? We don't cry!". I let her vent for a while, then she got mad. My parting words to her were "It's better to be mad than cry around here. Keep it up.". That seemed to help her.

Here are some other quotes that helped me get through this dreadful day:

• "Dust off your resume."
• "This is a job NOT a career. I come in, do my job and get the fuck out."
• "It's not worth it."
• "Make sure nobody ever has to say 'Get a Life' to you"
  
• "DLTLMFGYD" (aka "Don't Let the Little Mother Fuckers Get You Down") - This is what a dear friend's father used to tell us when we were having a hard time in and after college. I thought it was simply DLTFGYD but I spoke with my dear friend who corrected me and said that I had to add the "Little Mother" portion to it. Her Dad used to write the acronym in cards he'd leave for her. He was an awesome man. He died several years ago and I miss him all the time.

But more than anything, what got me through this day was being able to say "Yup", "Yes" and "Uh huh" to the litany of "Did you do..." questions that my boss' boss had for me. When everyone else was pushing work back on us because they were "understaffed and overworked" and "too busy" I just said "Yup".

Favorite

Here is what may be my all time favorite blog post ever. It's called "Secret Snack of Shame-a-thon".

I'm very disappointed in myself in that I never thought to make a plate of those delightful looking pretzel/chocolate filling things above. Those are SO being served at my next get together.

Really? It's Halloween?

I love Halloween but it's a particularly busy time at work these days so I didn't dress up or do any planning. However, I work at a place that has a LOT of people who happen to be creative and who love to dress up. So, how did I know it was Halloween? Well, I started finding clues around the office.

For one, this was one of the conference rooms I had a financial meeting in. And this is after it had been cleaned up a bit:

I opened the refrigerator for my lunch and found this:

I walked by our "open area" and saw this lying on a table for no particular reason.

There were also lots of awesome costumes but I was sequestered to my cubicle and missed most of them. I did, however see the electric wheel chair one artist had converted into the snail from the Main Street Electrical Parade complete with soundtrack. That was pretty great to see. Another dressed up as this guy which I thought was genius:

I heard about another company's runway/costume contest who had a Kanye West who kept interrupting everyone as they walked the catwalk.

That may be my favorite.

I promise to take pictures of the cool costumes next year. They are unbelievable!

The benefits of keeping an open mind

So, the Dodgers are once again breaking my heart. What do I do? I tune into Great Performances because it's featuring an episode on Gustavo Dudamel's debut performance as Music Director of the LA Phil and I can't think of a better way to stop hating LA (dem bums!).

Dudamel opens with a very modern sounding piece called City Noir. Ok, I get it, that's a pretty cool way to kick off a new job in LA, but I'm also thinking that it's sort of annoying 'cause it's a bit too modern for my taste. Keeping an open mind, I read about the commissioning of City Noir and discover the Composer was inspired by a bunch of books by some guy named Kevin Starr. I cruise on over to Amazon to read about this Starr guy. The next thing I know I'm getting totally engrossed in Starr's Dream books on California so I then make it official and add a few of his books to my wish list. Then I do the obvious and Google the guy and what do I learn? Kevin Starr was at Vroman's just last month. DAMMIT!

Oh well, better luck next time, huh?

In the end I wound up sort of liking the weird modern piece of music. I guess it goes to show that keeping an open mind can lead to interesting things.

I'm tired

I've got a terrible flu. Swine flu? Who knows. All I know is that it's wearing out it's welcome. I've slept tons, which usually helps, but still this thing hangs on.

Here are a few necessities I've used to get through it so far:

• Rosebud Salve (for the Rudolph nose. Apply generously every night and your nose won't get so dry and irritated. If you don't have this already, get some. I use this stuff every day for dry lips and cuticles. It's amazing.)
  
• Puffs Plus Kleenex
• Excedrin (For the blazing headache)
• Tylenol Cold (When the runny nose is out of hand)
• Robitussin (When the cough and chest congestion sets in)
• Listerine (To soak my toothbrush in between frequent brushings)
• Visine (To sooth burning eyes. Come to think of it, maybe I have the plague.)
  
• Cold, damp washcloth (for the forehead when the fever was approaching 103)
• Cranberry juice mixed with 7-Up (Ginger Ale is preferable but apparently the rest of the world got hold of before I could. I've pretty much lived on this concoction for the past 4 days)
• Coal Miner's Daughter, Smokey & The Bandit and Vampyr (I know It's a strange line up but this is what cable has had to offer during waking hours.)
  
• The Hunger Games (I seem to read a book every time I'm really sick. This is what I read this time. I liked it.)
• The most comfy bed in the world

I hope you don't get this flu but if you do I hope the above helps you through it.

Listen

Last Sunday I spent the day at home getting organized. Maybe it was one too many episodes of Hoarders but probably not. When my little piles of stuff start to get to me I eventually hit the wall, stop everything and clear it out. Sunday was one of those days and it was great.

This time I tried something a little different. Instead of tuning the tv to some mindless show, as I usually do, I didn't turn the tv on at all. Instead I tuned my MacBook to Pandora and listened to a couple of my stations. (BTW, if you aren't yet aware of Pandora, get to know it... pronto. It's great.) It turned out to be an incredibly tranquil day. I realized that tv adds more stress to my life than I'd known.

I've also come to understand something similar applies to my commute. I usually listen to NPR on my way in to work. It's my primary news source and I like it that way. However, lately I've been plugging in my iPod and listening to podcasts instead. It makes not only for a more peaceful commute but a more thought provoking one as well. I've long been a fan of This American Life but a new show is about to surpass it as my fave. *gasp* I've recently become a convert to The Story. It's a great little show hosted by Dick Gordon that airs around 9:00 pm around these parts. Unfortunately, I only spend a few minutes around a radio at that time of night. I flip on my bathroom radio while I wash my face and brush my teeth but it's not much time. I've therefore heard some good snippets of The Story but never more than a few minutes.

Anyway, I finally got hooked on a show and decided to subscribe to the podcast through iTunes. In a nutshell, Mr. Gordon interviews average people and talks to them about events in their lives. The Story typically has a theme and covers two stories per episode. I highly recommend it. As for where to start, I really liked Unexpected Honeymoon, Romeo and Tuyet and Facebook Friends (and Enemies). I think the website only offers a few shows at a time but you can go back several months through the iTunes podcast. You should give it a try.

I've decided a couple of my friends should write to Mr. Gordon about their experiences and get on the show. Shandon needs to write in about her new sister (a great story with an intriguing beginning) and Heidi needs to write in about the fire and the man on suicide bridge and how they are connected. I love a good story and I'm sure everyone I know has a good story worthy of The Story but those are the two I'd suggest.