Monday, July 31

Can't stop laughing


The Players:
My Mom (aka "Grandma" to the kids)
Little Miss (My niece)

Just overheard:
MM: Look, the new American Girl catalog came.

They slowly start going through the catalog picking out items for Little Miss' doll.

LM: I want that one. (Pointing to the page) What's her name?
MM: She doesn't have a name.
LM: (Pointing to the text) What does it say?
MM: Dark skin, black textured hair, light brown eyes.
LM: What do they call her?
MM: They call her...Mr. Tibbs.

That woman kills me.

Sunday, July 30

Don't know much about history

I watched The Civil War this weekend. I wasn't planning on it, but it was on and I hadn't seen it in a few years. I watch it every few years but often forget how good it is.

Frankly, I hated history in school. I now know I hated the way it was taught, not history itself. I swear I never would have made it to a degree without Schoolhouse Rock to guide my way. I continue to fall miserably short on what I should know about world events, but I do my best to continue my education on my own by traveling, reading and obsessing over PBS shows whenever possible. Even with all that, I'm still no expert on war. I don't know battles, routes or maneuvers but even I know, when I hear "Shiloh", to think "Uh, oh".

I'm a big documentary fan and The Civil War has got to be at the top of my list of favorite documentaries. It had more of an impact on me than I realized. Earlier this year, while in a small pub in Dublin's Temple Bar, a friend and I were eating and chatting up the Irish fiddle and guitar players in the corner. They would play some then chat then play some more then chat. After about an hour they started playing a tune that immediately brought tears to my eyes. I, frankly, was surprised by my reaction and didn't understand for a moment or so. I then recognized the tune as being Ashokan Farewell from The Civil War. It's bad enough to unexpectedly hear that song but to hear it away from home is an especially sad thing. I even wrote Florentine Films a letter telling them of my surprising experience and they wrote a nice letter of thanks back. (Yes, I'm a documentary film maker groupie.)

Here is a list of things that have helped cultivate my love of history:

Favorite childhood historic book:
The Little House Series- Probably the most influential on this list. My dad read the entire series to me when I was a kid. To this day, whenever I fly out of LA, I look down and think "Damn, people must have really wanted to be here." I then think "Damn, I would have been a terrible pioneer; a great suffragette, but a lame pioneer."

Favorite book I was forced to read in college and have loved ever more:
All the President's Men - This is the book that confirmed I liked history. Who could make this stuff up? Also, one of my favorite movies.

Favorite post-college history book:
Washington Goes to War by David Brinkley. This is a goody, folks. Give it a try.

Favorite museum:
The Churchill Museum/The Cabinet War Rooms. This was the by far the biggest surprise from my trip earlier this year. I'd heard the Cabinet War Rooms had been recently refurbished and opened to the public (woo hoo!) and had to go. This one is a pain in the butt to find. When we finally stumbled through the doors, after a lengthy search for the place, I commented to the security guard "Sheesh, this place it hard to find...but I guess that was the point, huh?" (Stupid American strikes again.) This place is incredible.

Favorite television series based on an American war:
M*A*S*H

Favorite made-for-television film on war:
Band of Brothers. I was ready to join the USO after this one.

All-time-favorite exhibit:
Abraham Lincoln exhibit at The Huntington Library. Its been years since I saw this exhibit but I've never forgotten it. It featured many of Lincoln's personal items, such as the gloves he wore the night he was killed. It had letters, speeches, flags and tons of photos. It featured a wall of portraits of Lincoln taken each year of his presidency. If you want to see how much a man can age in four years just take a look at Lincoln's portraits.

Favorite book of historic fiction:
The Other Boleyn Girl - I loved this one so much that I went all the way to England just to see The Tower of London . I'd been there when I was right out of college but had no historic frame of reference to work from. It was so much better the second time around. Henry VIII is another obsession of mine.

"Favorite" American disaster:
The Donner Party. I don't remember the first time I heard about this but I've been fascinated ever since. I read The Donner Party Chronicles earlier in the year and recommend it. I know the Titanic diaster is a popular choice but, dammit, those folks have got nothing on these sad saps.

Favorite up-and-coming historic talking head:
Sarah Vowell. Step aside Doris Kearns Goodwin, I love your stuff but this lady can research AND make us laugh! I read Assassination Vacation and loved it. Anyone who can dream up the nick name "Jinxy McDeath" is a friend of mine. You'll have to read it to find out who she's referring to.

Most anticipated documentaries:
The War and National Parks

Favorite Presidential quote:
Those who deny freedom to others, deserve it not for themselves; and, under a just God, can not long retain it."
- Abraham Lincoln
Someone might want to mention this quote to our current Republican President. (Oops! That's called editorializing and it's frowned upon. Just ask Fox "News"... oops! There I go again!)

Future Plans:
I'd like to visit Washington D.C. next. I absoultely must go to The Smithsonian and all of the monuments. I've never been and it's a damn shame.

Oh, and don't even get me started on The Salem Witch trials.

I'm currently reading The Fall of Baghdad. It's shaping up to be a favorite as well.

As you have probably gathered, I have the attention span of a gnat, which is why this list is a bit scattered.

Now, lets hear some of your faves.

Saturday, July 29

Backyard dogfight




So, here are a few shots of the crazy-ass hummingbirds that LOVE our feeders. I hope you can see them.

I know hummingbirds are small but they are remarkably aggressive. It's like a WWII dogfight out there most of the day.

We currently have about 7 feeders and have to fill them at least twice a day to keep the birds happy. They are really my dad's buddies, but when he's traveling, and I'm late filing them up, they hover next to the chair I'm sitting in and give me very dirty looks. They literally hover at eye level and throw me stink eyes. It's a lot of pressure! They urinate a lot and make a lot of noise but somehow they're pretty cool to have around. Oh, and check out the clouds. Finally! It's after 11:00 am and no need for air conditioning yet. Yea!!!

Friday, July 28

Covet thy what?

So, my brother and sis-in-law are building a new garage and office behind their home. From the beginning they decided they would do it all by the book to avoid headaches. Well, two days before the foundation was to be laid, the neighbor decides he wants my bro to move the structure 6 inches away from his property to give him the 3' clearance required on each side of his house. Problem is, the neighbor is basing his measurements on an illegal structure. What a dork! My bro called the city and asked about the structure and they had no record of it. Oops!!!The city told my bro to lay the foundation and that they would "handle" the neighbor. Did I mention that said neighbor is an abusive alcoholic with a suicidal wife and two autistic children? (I'm speaking literally here.) Why would somebody living with that set of circumstances pick a fight with a good neighbor who has never been anything but kind? I feel bad for the wife and kids but as far as that man is concerned... well, let's just say I love it when this karma thing works!

Thursday, July 27

In case you're wondering

Thought I'd give Annie's questionnaire a try. Here goes:

GRUB-OLOGY
What is your salad dressing of choice? The blue cheese dressing at the Northwoods Inn. There's definitely crack mixed in there.
What is your favorite fast food restaurant? Carl's Jr. for burgers and McDonald's for fries. Oh come on! It's clearly another crack item...like you aren't addicted too?!
What is your favorite sit down restaurant? Lately, I've been into PF Chang's.
On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant? 15-20%
What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? Yellow cake with chocolate frosting.
Name three foods you detest above all others. Beans of any kind, brussel sprouts & cooked spinach ( I like it raw).
What is your favorite dish to order in a Chinese restaurant? Chow Mein
What are your pizza toppings of choice? Pepperoni, sausage, green peppers and onions.
What do you like to put on your toast? Boysenberry jam
What is your favorite type of gum? Orbitz (But I can't chew gun anymore 'cause I'm ancient and I have TMJ and it hurts my jaw)

TECH-OLOGY
Number of contacts in your cell phone? A few dozen maybe?
Number of contacts in your email address book? Maybe 50 or so
What is your wallpaper on your computer? At work it's a Fantasia Mickey with a big evil fire breathing monster towering over him because that's how I feel sometimes at work. At home it's a lighthouse pic that I got off NationalGeographic.com
What is your screensaver on your computer? Some work thing I have no choice over. At home, well I just don't remember.
How many televisions are in your house? Three
What kitchen appliance do you use the least? Orange juicer
What is the format of the radio station you listen to the most? NPR
How many sex toys do you own that require batteries? None

BI-OLOGY
What do you consider to be your best physical attribute? Eyes, skin (so I guess the answer is "my head")
Are you right handed or left handed? Right
Do you like your smile? Sure
Have you ever had anything removed from your body? Wisdom teeth and some spot on my shoulder the dermatologist didn't like. Oh, and I had a dreadful "female procedure" I won't describe here but I can tell you it involved the scariest piece of medical equipment I've even seen.
Would you like to? I have a friend who claims if she had three wishes she'd want world peace, $100 million and all unwanted hair to disappear from her body forever. I kinda like that idea as well.
Do you prefer to read when you go to the bathroom? Not normally
Which of your five senses do you think is keenest? I have a pretty good ear but being raised in a loud home I sometimes don't hear people because I'm concentrating.
When was the last time you had a cavity? Never
What is the heaviest item you lift regularly? My niece
Have you ever been knocked unconscious? Oh yeah! I slipped on a bag in my childhood bedroom and woke up with Dad freaking out shouting "Breathe, breathe!!!". I had a spectacular bike accident with my brothers best friend's older brother. Two bikes colliding, it was ugly. I remember waking up and asking why there was horses mane on the street. Turns out it was my hair. Musta got caught in the someone's spokes...I don't know. I also fell off a rope swing into a ditch and was dumped in the back yard by my "friends". Wow! The summer of '75 was rough!

MISC-OLOGY
If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? Uh, NO!
If you could change your first name, what would you change it to? I don't thing I would. It's not that I love my name so much. I just think my friends would get tired of me never responding to my new name.
How do you express your artistic side? lately, cross stitching and baking
What color do you think you look best in? unfortunately, pink
How long do you think you could last in a medium security prison? About 15 minutes
Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake? Yes. In fact, last night while making my "light" chocolate shake I thought I saw a runaway mini chocolate chip. I was about to throw it down the hatch when I realized it had wings. It was a fly! Ewww. Can you imagine? Expecting chocolatey goodness and... blechhhh!!! If I'd eaten it I swear I would have barfed for a week straight.
If we weren't bound by society's conventions, do you have a relative you would make a pass at? No! Ewwww again!
How often do you go to church? When some ceremony demands it. Enough with the weddings and baptisms people!!! Sheesh!
Have you ever saved someone├é’s life? Every day on the cursed freeway of fools!
Has someone ever saved yours? Yes

DARE-OLOGY
Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000? Nope
Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100? Maybe
Would you have sex with a member of the same sex for $10,000? No
Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000? No
Would you never blog again for $50,000? Hell yeah!
Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000? No, and you should thank me for it.
Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000? Maybe
Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000? No
Would you shave your head and get your entire body waxed for $5,000? I might shave my head but forget about the waxing.
Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000? Yes

Wednesday, July 26

Work work, work...


I've been workin' my butt off around here and it's actually been great. As mentioned before, I work so much better under pressure. I tend to get more organized and focused. I'm just no good left to my own devises with few deadlines. I get bored and it's just not good.

I had three trips planned in the next three weeks but two got cancelled. Yea! Now I'm just going to New York in August. I don't really like going anywhere in August (my least favorite month...no holidays...boo!!!) but, if I must, it's always good to visit New York. I even booked my first power breakfast. I always see a bizarre mix of "celebrities" in my hotel so it's fun to eat in the restaurant. It's just plain funny to be enjoying your eggs and realize Al Sharpton, some media mogul and Kathie Lee Gifford are sitting next to you. Also, I figured, why bust my ass to get across town when I can sleep in and have one of my favorite clients come to me. How exciting!!! Why didn't I think of this before?

Saturday, July 22

Thank God for small favors

I got home today from running errands and noticed the house was warmer than it should have been. I'd left the thermostat at 78 degrees but it was 82 degrees...weird. I checked and the air was on so I got a sinking feeling that it wasn't working. I then noticed the cable was out and the clocks were all blinking. We had apparently had a power outage. All I could think was "Thank God I wasn't here!" I literally would have had a stroke.

I'm pretty much constantly thinking of our troops and ordinary Iraqi citizens and everyone in war torn areas of the Middle East and how they have to live in 120 degree heat (or worse) with NO POWER. Oh, and the no power thing is the least of their worries. What a nightmare!!!

So, in appreciation of having power, here are a few ways I'll be passing the time INDOORS with the air CRANKED UP:

This American Life archived episodes. This is such a great radio show. Anything you pick will be a good listen while surfing online.

iTunes. Hopefully you already have this on your computer. If not, download it here and lose hours listening to music you've always meant to check out. Be sure to check out some podcasts while you're at it.

Poke around Amazon and decide what looks good, but do me a favor and buy your books at your favorite independant bookstore.

The Onion

Slate

NPR

Check out BBC radio for a fresh perspective or BBC News.

Go to National Geographic and pick out some wallpaper for your desktop and enjoy that amazing photography.

You Tube

Ebaums World

And considering how terrible things are around the world these days, check out Charity Navigator and decide who you can donate some funds to.

Oh, and this is what I like to sip in this sort of heat:
Toss a few frozen strawberries in a tall glass of Fresca and blend with a stick blender. It's low cal, quite refreshing and oh so yummy. Give it a try sometime. If you're feeling especially festive throw some rum or vodka in there too!

Thursday, July 20

Better days


I had a blazingly good day yesterday. I've known for some time that I work best under pressure but yesterday was confirmation of this theory.

I have several meetings/trips coming up in the next 6 weeks. Let's just say there is a lot to get done. I generally like travel, in that it gets me out of my routine. I also like that every penny spent is charged back to the company. I get to eat well and socialize on the road and that's good too. On the other hand it's a tremendous hassle. Because I have so many out of office meetings coming up, and the fact that I'm off tomorrow, and my boss is off next week, I need to get lots of stuff done by end of day today. As a result, I got tons of stuff done yesterday and sorta looked like I knew what I'm doing. Mostly, I want to assure the boss that things will be rolling along while she's out next week.

As for today, everyone just marched off to a 10:00 offsite meeting that I didn't need to attend (for a change of pace). I'm pretty much here alone and it's great! And even better is that I booked a 2:30 doctor appointment this afternoon so it helps extend my long weekend even more. Have I mentioned my love of my dermatologist? He reminds me of Piglet and I quite enjoy that about him. I'm serious! He's small and speaks very quietly and always says "Sooooo, how's your skin?" He kills me with his sweetness. I don't have any major skin issues, just a touch of rosacea and dry skin so I like to see him from time to time. I recommend everyone find a nice dermatologist and visit him/her a couple of times a year. No matter who you are, you can benefit from a good dermatologist. Best of all, they seem to be free wheelin' with the samples and who doesn't like free samples?

Oh, and I also love the nice people at our home alarm company. I accidentally tripped the alarm last night while checking to see if a door was locked. It was. Who knew those sensors were so sensitive? Well, the alarm scared the bejesus outta me. I rushed to the phone to call off the cops and the alarm people were so calm and kind. I guess I don't talk to them very often. I was genuinely touched at their concern. We don't normally trip our alarm so we must fall into their "hey these guys really might have a problem" category. They asked who the hell I was and why I was in my parents house. I guess I'm on a "she's cool" list somewhere (thank God!) then they said "...but you're ok, right?" I said yes but sheesh that alarm is loud!! I'm here to tell you that even if you trip the alarm yourself it still scares the hell outta you. This is especially so when you're home alone in a house made mostly of glass that overlooks a canyon filled with God knows what kind of beasts and demons. I'm almost 40 years old and I still need a babysitter. What a spaz.

So, today's blog is dedicated to all the nice people hired to look out after my lame ass. Thanks!!!

Monday, July 17

Superbitch strikes again

Was this wrong?

Associate: "I'm about to hack up a lung. I'm thinking of leaving early. Is that ok?"
Lucy: "Then I don't want you around. Beat it."

She laughed, but moments later I thought "Wow, that really wasn't very nice". Where was the "I hope you feel better." or "Go home and take care"? Guess it's just not in me today.

To be honest, I think she's faking it but she's worked so hard all day to cough when she walks by. I figure she's earned an early day just for the effort.

Hoorah!!!

I asked for Friday off and got it!!! I feel so much better.

Superbitch




I like my job but I'm really not in the mood today. I find that when I drift of to sleep fantasizing about winning the lottery every night that it's time for a break. I have vacation days coming to me but no opportunity to take them. Who books these meetings anyway? Such a drag!

Of course, it could just be PMS. Here's a little tip for the boys in terms of PMS: We know we're being bitchy, the difference with PMS is that we just don't care. I know my experience is that PMS can be sort of like a superpower. I'm much more able to be firm and no nonsense when I'm so easily annoyed. Just this morning I pushed back a deadline on a Project Manager known for her DMV-like personality. She fought and whined but ultimately couldn't argue when I coldly said "We're asking for one more day. One day." Earlier, a client was requesting more unnecessary materials for work when they already have more than a person could use in a lifetime. I asked what she has done the the lat enormous (and costly) mound of materials we gave them. I haven't heard back.

Um yeahhhh, I think it's officially PMS.

I'll try to use the power for good and not evil.

(Apologies to Norman. I know this sort of subject matter is disturbing to you but sometimes a girl just has to share.)

Saturday, July 15

One more to hate

11) The lady in the check out line at Trader Joe's this morning.

I walked up to a check out line and watched the woman in front of me run outside to grab one more plant. She already had a couple so I'm not sure why she suddenly needed another. I thought "oh well, I don't mind someone running back for one more item". But then she ran back and grabbed another....and another! Ok...whatever. But then she ran outside AGAIN and all the way out to her car to apparently retrieve her wallet. ASSHOLE! She came running in saying "excuse me". Excuse what, your fool mind? She then swiped her card and it wouldn't go through. Eventually it did but for God's sake woman GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!!! I hope you spend your afterlife in a line behind jackasses like you!

Now, you may wonder why I stayed behind her. Well, part of me was too stunned to move but mostly I kept thinking "Surely, she won't delay this again. She can't possibly run away again." I was wrong.

Ugh! Thanks, I feel better now.

Friday, July 14

10 things I hate, huh?

Shandon tagged me for this one, so here goes:


10) Narrow mindedness. Do some reading, see a bit of the world, and try to look a situation from as many sides as possible before forming an opinion.

9) Hummers. People, really, in case you haven't noticed we're in a bit of an oil crisis and you're not helping. You're half the reason I'm terrified of getting that tiny European car I should be driving by now. Oh, and how does it feel to be the auto & oil industry's bitch?

8) Beans of any kind. I know they're full of protein, and they're oh so good for me and blah, blah, blah but they just plain stink and make me sick.

7) George Bush. I've given this one a lot of thought and it's official, I hate this twit. Hey Georgie, thanks for bending over for all of your buddies and being the best recruiting TOOL the terrorists could have ever dreamed up. God only knows how long it will take to clean up your mess. (Frankly, Georgie has earned a higher ranking on this list but I thought of him so soon that...well, he gets to sit here and think about what he's done.)

6) Idiots who insist on playing their car radio so loud. Is that some sort of modern day mating call? Are we supposed to be impressed with your bad taste in music?

5) Mean people, or should I say insecure people? I can't stand folks who take pleasure in humiliating others because they have an opportunity.

4) Blackberries. The digital kind not the fruit. It's probably only a matter of time before I'm handed one of my own for work but I promise I will never click away on it during movies or my nephew's baseball games or while at dinner with friends.

3) Cancer. Nuff said.

2) WalMart. I've been boycotting the place for over 10 years now. I can't stand the way they target main street USA and destroy them one by one. I hate the way they won't let millions of employees form a union (Chicken shits. I'm speaking of the Wal Mart executives not those poor employees) or the way they can bankrupt a small company with a single cancelled order without batting an eye.

1) Violence. Get some help.

Wow! You were right Shandon. That's not too hard once you get going. I actually have a few more, but I'll control myself.

Thursday, July 13

Don't forget your rosary.

So, tonight I had a client dinner. My new boss (the one from Germany) hasn't purchased a second car, and his wife had the SUV, so he didn't have one handy. I offered to drive him to the dinner and drop him off afterward. He had been asking about things to do in So Cal. Here is an excerpt of the drive home conversation.

Lucy: So, you know you have to go to the Hollywood Bowl, right? It would be a nice date night with your wife.
Herr Boss: Yes, I'm going in September. Will it be nice then?
Lucy: Oh yeah, it's still toasty in September so it will be really nice. What are you seeing?
Herr Boss: Carmina Burana*.
Lucy: Holy crap! You know that stuff scares the hell out of us Americans right?
Herr Boss: (laugh...thank God!) Yeah, not very romantic either, huh?
Lucy: Um...yeah...good luck with that.


* You know it. Yes you do! You know, it's Damien's theme song...makes you want to rock in a corner and suck your thumb. Not ringing any bells? Well, put it this way, if my brother wasn't married, and I EVER had the opportunity, it's the music I would set his alarm clock to as a joke. (God, it's amazing how much that thought makes me laugh!)

Wednesday, July 12

Don't fear the reaper

So, today I received a threatening email chain letter. This one was particularly aggressive. It gave several example of poor souls who had ignored the "forward this or die" demand and , of course, perished within 48 hours. As always, I ignored the threats and the email. A few hours later I received the cursed email AGAIN from another "friend". Here is how I replied:

Lucy: I already got this and I ignored it. If I get run over by a truck tomorrow morning, TWICE, it's all your fault!

"Friend": Just know that you are my friend and that I will care if you get hit by a truck so suck it up and forward to 10 people you slacker!!

I then sent it back to her 10 times. HA!

Tuesday, July 11

The Family Spaz

I come from a long line of real spastics but, luckily, we're able to laugh at ourselves. My brother has always been able to make me laugh. I mean he can make me laugh really hard, so hard that I have to scratch the phone so he knows I'm still there because I'm unable to make any other audible sound kind of laugh.

Sometimes he doesn't even have to be around to make me laugh. In fact, it happened again today: My computer was demanding that I set a new password. Whenever I have to do this I think of my spaz brother. He told me that in the movie The Cable Guy, Jim Carrey at one point whispers in a slight lisp "The password is "Nipple". My genius brother decided that was one password he'd never forget so he started using it. Unfortunately, soon after implementing his flawless password plan his computer went on the fritz. He works out of his home so his IT department has to troubleshoot remotely and, of course, he was asked "What's your password?". He was mortified but couldn't resist the urge to imitate Jim Carrey and so replied, in whispered tone "The password is "Nipple". There was apparently an embarrassing pause from the IT guy so my brother felt compelled to explain. He failed miserably and from then on the IT guy thought he was a psycho.

And there you have a quick snapshot of my spaz brother and why he makes me laugh without even trying. Oh, in case you're wondering, that password has long since been retired but feel free to try it if you must.

Monday, July 10

Descent into Grannyville


So my downward spiral into Grannyville continues. I am now not only cross stitching for hours on end but I've turned off the tv and am now stitching while listening to the radio. Now that's grannyish!! Ok, so technically I'm listening to a bunch of podcasts and shows I've downloaded, which is pretty advanced for the average granny, but still.

I primarily listened to This American Life (the greatest show on radio) over the weekend. I've been listening to TAL for years now but I started a subscription a couple of years ago because I like to burn them to disc for the car. Of course, this habit started before I had an iPod so I don't burn too much anymore. I had fallen way behind in my TAL listening and got to catch up a bit. It's the most relaxed I've been in ages.

I also listened to NPR's book show. I'm sorry but listening the Beverly Cleary talk about Ramona is heaven. I know she's 90 years old but dammit she still rocks. Is that like spending time with a 90-year-old friend? I'm pretty sure it is. Oh no.

I'm trying to embrace the granny within but I'm also in denial about the granny-like behavior. I tell myself "Well, at least I'm an NPR listening , yogurt eating, Trader Joe's shoppin' granny-in- training. I'd hate to be a Fox News believing, Rush Limbaugh lovin' , head in the sand granny. That would suck."

Then again, I did pick up a Dean Martin Essentials CD at Target yesterday. Shit! What does it all mean?!

At least I don't have a rocking chair but that's probably not far off in my future. Now if I only had my own porch to go with it...

Friday, July 7

Another from the wannabe critic

Tonight I FINALLY saw a show I've been singing along to for the past a couple of years. It's called The Last Five Years and is written by Jason Robert Brown. It's currently playing at The Pasadena Playhouse and I recommend it. If you can't see it on stage then give the cast recording a listen.

Let's see if I can explain this (if not then click here): It's a semi-autobiographical musical featuring two players, Jamie and Kathy, that tells the story of their doomed relationship. The show opens with Kathy lamenting the end of the relationship and moves backwards to the beginning of the story. Meanwhile, Jamie sings from the beginning of the relationship and proceeds chronologically to the end. The storylines intersect once in the middle of the show and end with Kathy singing excitedly about the beginning of her new love while Jamie is closing the door on their love story. It's very well written and one of the most brutally honest shows I've seen. In fact, I believe most adults will recognize at least some aspect of their love life in these songs. It's not all doom and gloom though, "The Last Five Years" also happens to showcase some very clever and funny tunes.

It's not terribly well known on the West Coast but definitely it's worth a listen if you happen to like musical theater.

Give 'em enough rope...

So, we've FINALLY wrapped up our annual budget process. We had our marathon meeting yesterday and I couldn't be happier that its over.

It was four hours of going over 2006 and 2007 business. Ugh! I amused myself by passing notes and watching the dynamics in the room (some things never change). One boss, in particular, likes to take credit for all happenings in her business even though she has two great Managers that do the bulk of the work.

Our head of Finance asked the diva some very pointed questions. She fumbled around but clearly had no intention of letting her Managers chime in... very uncool. I watched the Managers just lean back and watch her squirm each time she couldn't clearly answer a question. It was great! I love that kind of drama!!

In entertainment news: I'm now obsessed with Rescue Me. A friend at work strongly recommended it. I finished watching season one last night. It's very good and I highly recommend it. Not much like it on television. It was yet another show I had initially dismissed because it looked like a "boy show". You would think I'd have learned my lesson after falling in love with Deadwood. Well, I love this show. Check it out some time.

Wednesday, July 5

Quote of the day:

I was wasting too much time on iTunes (again) when I came across this incredibly well put quote:

"Dylan wrote lyrics you could trust your trip with." - JB from Widespread Panic

I'm no druggy, and trippin' was never my thing, but if that isn't the best thing ever said about Bob Dylan then I just don't know what is.

Tuesday, July 4

You've entered the Twilight Zone

We went to my brother's house this morning. He lives in a small town that might as well be Mayberry. They live a block from the big Fourth of July Parade route so they host a big annual open house breakfast for the big event. It gets bigger each year but I think that's mostly from all the new kids that are born every year. I've lost track of all of their names. Now I just know the ones that came first. Any kid under the age of four is just "buddy" or "sweetie" to me now. Unless of course they're brats, then I call them "sunshine" because I believe kids should be subjected to sarcasm early in life.

The Parade is hilarious because it's mostly the retirement community in shuttles driving by and people pushing their small business and church Vacation Bible Camps. After several "floats" had come by tossing candy to the kids I had a big laugh when the Presbyterian church drove by tossing what appeared to be candy to the crowds. What made it funny was that it took the kids abut 2 seconds to realize they weren't scrambling for candy but in fact little scrolls of Vacation Bible Camp brochures. Boy did that piss them off! I think a heathen may have been born after that dirty trick. The same pushers were dressed in robes and trotting behind the arc of the covenant (who knew it was in So Cal?!) resting atop their "float". I especially loved the dry ice effect because it looked like the arc was gonna blow. It got even better when my Mom leaned over and inquired "The arc is one thing but why is the Presbyterian Church blasting Hava Nagila?". She went on to comment that this years parade was "longer than Jerusalem!" (Did I mention that My mom has a Texas accent? I'm here to tall ya that everything is funnier with a Texas accent.)

It's been a good weekend even if it was broken up by a brief stint at work. I spent about 3 hours yesterday making the cutest damn cupcake you've ever seen but forgot to take a picture to post. I told my sis-in-law that I'd bring cupcakes. She asked if I wouldn't mind making some that she had seen in a magazine. I said "No problem" and felt that way until about 2 hours into the project. They were your basic white in white cupcakes with sprinkles on the edges. On top sat a mini cupcake, edged with different sprinkles and with a "burst" of mini red licorice sprouting from the center. They were spectacular. Unfortunately, kids would be eating them so I couldn't stick a toothpick in the center to hold the things together. I learned the hard way that stacked cupcakes, no matter how adorable, do not travel well. The damn things slid all over each other the whole way to the house and there wasn't a damn thing I could do. I think I arrived sort of annoyed and I'm pretty sure eyes were rolled in my direction but... Whatever.

I'm now sitting in my favorite chair doing my civic duty...I'm enjoying the Twilight Zone marathon. It's cool and quiet and as God, I'm sure, intended. I know the founding father's couldn't foresee The Twilight Zone but I'm pretty sure they would approve of the tradition of sitting on ones ass watching this marathon for hours on end. God bless America!