Sunday, March 1

Near Death Experience

I'm not speaking of my near death, I'm speaking of my niece's. I almost killed her last night.

We occasionally have sleep-overs. I can only manage them on "non-school" nights because my niece prevents me from getting much sleep. She grinds her teeth, kicks and fidgets all night. Being a light sleeper this can be a problem. One famous night she awoke at "four-three-oh" wanting to go to McDonald's. She almost met her end that night. Her brother, who sleeps on my bedroom floor for our sleep overs, began a whispered fury that could have melted paint. My niece didn't seem to mind.

Last night at three-three-oh-
Alex (my niece): Auntie Lucy, are you awake?
Lucy: ...
Alex: Auntie Lucy, I can't sleep.
Lucy: ...
Alex: Auntie Lucy?
Lucy: You can play with the DS but you have to use the earbuds.
Alex: Ok. Where is it.
Lucy: It's on the floor between your brother and the bookcase. But don't wake him up. (I held up my iPod as a flash light and pointed it downward.)
Alex: (Standing next to her brother immobile) ...
Lucy: What's wrong? It's right there.
Alex: I can't.
Lucy: Why not?
Alex: I'll wake him up and he'll be mad at me.
Lucy: Oh for God's sake! (Hanging off the bed searching for the DS).
Lucy: Here. (handing her the DS)
Alex: Thanks.
Lucy: If you switch games, don't lose it in the sheets.
Alex: Ok. (Yanking the tiny game chip out of the DS and accidentally winging it across the room... in the dark.)
Lucy: (wearily) Little girl, I'm going to kill you.

30 minutes later (four-oh-oh)-

Alex: Auntie Lucy, I have to go to the bathroom but it's too scary.
Lucy: Here. (Again handing her the iPod as a flashlight) Don't drop it in. Put it on the counter.
Alex: (Walking to bedroom door then turning back) It's still too scary. (Walking back to edge of my bed to stare at me.)
Lucy: (Throwing blankets off and sitting up on edge of bed). You should be more afraid of me because I'm really going to kill you this time. (Reaching out and wrapping both hands around her little neck)
Alex: (Giggling wildly)

After the bathroom break and more game play Alex eventually put the DS down and tried to go back to sleep. OMG.

I'm still so tired. I'll be spending the day doing laundry and reading. Thank God for lazy Sundays.

I love those kids but they exhaust me. Well, more precisely, Alex exhausts me. My nephew, Jake, is much like me when I was his age. He's able to entertain himself quietly for hours. Alex, on the other hand, is a bit loud and full of energy and wants my participation in most of what she's doing.

We do have fun though. My Mom spoils them more than I do. I tend to be more strict about washing hands, brushing teeth and trying to be careful about what they watch on tv but last night I threw in the towel. We found a terrible show on TruTv called World's Wildest police Videos. There was a mini-marathon. There was much wild cheering and clapping from the kids. Mom always enjoys a good car chase so this was right up her alley.

Things you may have overheard from us last night-

Lucy: The very best one so far was that one with the bomb going off in that guy's backpack. What a loser!
Jake: Yeah! That was the best!!!

Alex: (Walking in from the another room) Did you hear me calling you?
Lucy: Yes, I was ignoring you.
Alex: Why?
Lucy: Because as long as you're shouting, you're breathing and I've done my job.
Alex: ...
Lucy: What did you want?
Alex: Your tv changed the channel.
Lucy: ... (Racking my brain trying to recall what the Tivo would be recording.)

I checked and realized my Season Pass for True Blood had decided to record the East Coast feed of the hard R-rated show. Ooooops.

Lucy: (Calling out from the other room) Did you see anything nasty?!
Alex: No.

Guess that will teach me to ignore the kid. I later checked the episode and realised it was the one that opens with the Rattray's beating the hell out of Sookie while cursing a blue streak. I do know that Alex was out of the room by the time the opening credits began and the video of Maudette and Jason began. Phew, that was close!

Oh, and that photo above? I find dozens of those on my MacBook Photobooth following each trip the kids make to the house. They always make me laugh.


kb said...

Well, this whole encounter just made me laugh so hard! I can totally relate and understand. Love the picture, too!

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