"I may barf."

My friend Heidi is back in town after a few weeks in Wisconsin with her family. We decided to catch a movie and dinner. We saw Run, Fat Boy, Run. It's a cute little film that is fun and worth catching when it hits cable.

After the movie we decided to grab a bite at a good place that we've been to many times before. We had a lot of catching up to do. She missed my melt down, hearing about Patti in Gypsy, mom's surgery and my eventual calming down phase (that I've yet to blog about). After dinner we were feeling zany so we each order a yummy sounding apple cobbler. I was in the midst of some story or another when I looked down and saw a centipede type bug crawl out of my cobbler. I dropped my spoon, covered my mouth with my hand and whispered "Oh my God. I may barf." Heidi froze as I turned the plate around to revel the creepy crawler casually making his way around the rim of the dish. We tried to flag somebody down but nobody was to be found. Heidi jumped up and made her way towards the kitchen. She got someones attention by shooting a fierce look and stating "My friend just found an earwig in her cobbler." A moment later our poor waitress showed up. I pointed to the bug and said "Seriously, I may barf. That's so gross." She agreed that it was indeed gross and snatched the plate off the table and ran away. A few minutes later a man in a tie showed with our check in hand. He apologised and went on and on about he just couldn't understand it. How could a bug live in such a hot dish "unless it fell from the sky"? I agreed that it was a mystery but it had in fact happened. He said that our dessert was on him. I glared at him and he said "Well, um, I'm happy to cover your meal if...". I just said "Thank you" and cut him off. The more he went on the more he seemed to be accusing me of dropping the creature in my dessert. I was annoyed. On our way out, we went to the bathroom. As I washed my hands I thought "He (the bug) had powdered sugar all over him." I walked out of the restroom, looked at Heidi and said "I know where it came from." I walked back and found the tie guy (I presume he was the Manager). I said "It was your powdered sugar." He looked confused and slightly terrified that I'd reappeared. He stammered "What?" and I said "It had powdered sugar all over it. Check your powdered sugar." A light bulb seemed to appear over his head when he said "It was an earwig!" then ran towards the kitchen. I heard a "Thank you!" tossed over his shoulder as he ran. As we walked out Heidi quipped "Nice going Miss Marple!"

Norman and Shandon, brace yourselves, this happened at a certain blue cheese burger place you adore. Sorry to lay gross news on you but it's true. At least there's no powdered sugar in that burger you love. I can't say "I'll never go there again" but it will be a while before I get the image of that flour beetle thing (or whatever the hell it was) crawling out of my dessert. A dessert I had no business ordering in the first place, by the way. That image is one way to stay on a diet.