Tuesday, August 26
Well, for anyone out there who might care, I'm still writing. I'm no longer channeling a bossy muse but I'm still having fun. I did, however, hit the wall last night. I had to work 'til 7:00 which always bums me out. I was particularly stressed out and had a bad night. My new job description is a biggie. I know I can handle it but it's a lot of pressure and I'm probably looking at about a year of looooong hours and loooots of travel. It's not what I initially signed up for but I'm up for the challenge. If it seriously sucks, I'll find another job.
Pretty much everyone I know is going through a serious rut. Most of my coworkers are reevaluating their careers. Lots of people got hosed in our new organizational structure. Lots of people from my area are saying "I'll give it 6 months then decide what I want to do." I think upper management would have a stroke if they had a real understanding of the level of discontent. We're gonna have a lot of desks to fill in about 6 months. Of course this isn't limited to my work place. I have many friends outside the workplace who seem to be struggling through the same difficult issues. It all sucks. I sometimes wonder if it's like a phantom itch. Maybe we're all feeling a phantom dread for back-to-school? What I'm feeling is very close to that back-to-school depression.
Then, as if I'm not busy enough, I received an email telling me I had to take the Preventing Workplace Harassment training. What?! I just took that Sexual Harassment class about 6 months ago. Naturally I replied saying just that. I then got a reply to my reply where they explained yes, I took Deterring Sexual Harassment in February but now it's time to take Preventing Workplace Harassment. Oh, well as long as we're clear. Did I mention this online "class" takes two hours? It's pure torture. Where is my Preventing Workplace Stress and Resulting Freak-out class?
All of these pressures have sucked the creative spirit right out of me. Last night I hated the direction my little story was taking and got mad. I managed to beat some stuff out on my laptop but I don't believe it's any good. I created a "Dump" folder where I put the stuff I'm not crazy about. I figure I can always to go back and use pieces of it. I don't throw anything out, no matter how crabby and discouraged I may have been when I wrote it.
I've not been sleeping well either. While tossing and turning last night, and listening to Hem on my iPod in an attempt to relax, I decided to completely change one of my story threads. It will require rewriting a bunch of stuff but since I have no deadline it's fine. The one parameter I've given myself is that I have to write something every day. I have promised myself I will turn off the tv, turn on my "Moody" playlist of music and get something out. So far I have written something every day. I have 12 chapters, that need to be rewritten, and the "Dump" folder full of scraps. I'm frustrated but I have a long weekend to look forward to. I'm hoping a day of no commitments will help me straighten out my story lines. I'm looking forward to it. I supposed that's a good sign.
So there you have it. I probably need more time off. I haven't had a real get-away vacation in ages and could probably use one. Someone suggested taking a week off and renting a cabin somewhere just to write. How great would that be? A girl can dream.
I'm off to write and, hopefully, de-stress. See ya later.
Oh, but before I go I'd jut like to say that all of those disgruntled Hillary supporters are really disappointing me. Thanks a lot ladies for taking us back 50 years and making sure the world believes all women are emotional and irrational. I also blame the media for talking exclusively to disgruntled Hillary delegates. Way to go assholes. We all know there is NO WAY you'll be talking exclusively to anti-McCain Republicans when it's their turn to cry in Minneapolis. No wonder my writing mojo is endangered! You're killin' me.
Posted by Lucy at 7:01 PM