She's trying to kill us

I'm beginning to think Paula Deen is the devil and I'm certain she's trying to kill us.

I'm conflicted because she looks a bit like my Mom, but then I see what she's making and I'm convinced Paula is trying to kill us. Think about it, if the devil decided to walk the earth, he wouldn't be dumb enough to actually look like himself, he'd look like a sweet, Southern mama. The devil would work hard to blend in and be charming. He'd want us to trust him and what better why to gain access to the masses then to become a successful, likable, Southern cook with a tv show and a pair of cute sons?

I first started developing this theory while watching Paula make a bread pudding. Of course Paula's bread pudding is like no other. Paula's bread pudding is made of Eagle brand sweetened condensed milk AND Krispy Kreme donuts. (Take it easy Paula, you're scales are beginning to show, I thought to myself.)

The thought reappeared after reading Shandon's recent post about Paula's deep fried cheesecake. (Did I mentioned that that recipe was featured on a show titled Fry Me To the Moon?) My theory was cemented this morning after watching her make peanut butter cups in a blanket and a bruleed banana split. I'm sorry, but it's official, the woman is out to kill us all and her poor husband is bound to be her first victim. The man doesn't stand a chance! Imagine Paula cooking for you all the time? I don't know a soul on earth who could say "no thank you, Paula" when faced with her food.

Of course my theory does not lessen my love for Paula. I adore her blatant disregard for health. The woman throws caution to the wind and I love her for it. Keep up the ballsy cooking Paula. Nobody does it better.