Thursday, March 30

Sick people

Booker just sent me an article on breast implanted women being banned from space travel. Somehow I doubt this will have any significant effect on the future of the space travel industry. It did, however, bring a question to mind: what happens when these are cremated? Is it like the Fourth of July in there or what?

My mother wants to be cremated. She doesn't have breast implants, she's got so much better. My brother has put dibs on her titanium knee. He wants it for his mantle. We're sick people.

Have I mentioned my mom's oral surgery? She had to go through a year long ordeal to get an implanted tooth. We're talking cadaver bone here. She was, of course, grossed out but the oral surgeon assured her that the tissue is SO processed that it's practically synthetic by the time it gets to her. Well, the big implant day came and as I was walking out the door I told my Mom to look at the Doctor and whisper "I taste dead people." She did. It killed in the prep room.

Turns out most are sick people...


Norman said...

What if, now bear w/ me, while traveling in space, a totally stacked woman's implants explode, sparking some chain reaction -- get a script consultant for this part -- that culminates w/ the release of excess radioactive particles into the Earth's atmosphere and the reanimation of the dead, including the cadaver from whom your mother procured her tooth? He/she wants it back, and is prepared to use his/her remaining teeth to get it. (If you steal this hot Hollywood idea, I know where to find you.)

~ Lucy said...

Brilliant! My poor mother. I'll be sure to share your idea with her. By the way, it's nice to know you're sick as well.