Auntie Establishment

I got home early today due to an afternoon doctor appointment. My niece and nephew were with my folks when I got home. Here are excerpts from some of our conversations:

Little Man: Ow! Grandma, she punched me!
Lucy: (Absentmindedly) Well... punch her back.
(Now, let's be clear, I am in no way an "eye for and eye" kinda gal. I just wanted to see what kind of reaction I would get. It was risky but SO worth it. The stunned looks and silence were priceless. We all started laughing.)

Mom and I were talking about how American Idol is so mean spirited and that we didn't think it was good for kids to see that kind of accepted cruelty.
Lucy: (To the kids) You're not ever mean to kids at school are you?
Little Man: (Sly grin)
Lucy: No! You're not a meanie!!
Little Man: Wellll, there's this one kid, who when we get a run, and we're safe, he'll throw the ball anyway and call us out.
Lucy: So, he a cheater-cheater?
Little Man: Yeah, so we don't like to play with him.
Lucy: Well, do you explain why you don't like to play with him?
Little Man: No. We never tell him.
Lucy: Well, you should explain that he's sometimes a cheater and that it's a bummer and maybe he'll play nice some time. Tell him if he stops cheating you'd be delighted to play with him.
Little Man: But kick ball is my life.
Lucy: ...?
Little Man: (giggles)
Lucy: (giggles)

Later my niece tossed a princess pillow at her brother's head (yes, she's constantly seeking his attention). He didn't seem to care but it bothered me. I grabbed her arm to turn her towards me and sternly said "Don't throw things at your brother's head." She hates to be scolded and gets very serious look on her face and sort of freezes. The problem is that frozen expression just cracks me up! I know I was supposed to keep my composure and remain a serious adult but I burst out laughing instead. She was relieved to feel off the hook. Between yelps of laughter I said "I'm serious. (hehehe) Don't throw things at your brother. (HEHEHE) I mean it!!! (BWAHAHAHAHAH)!!!" Her brother just looked at me and shook his head.

Thank God I'm not a parent.