Monday, January 22

Little Children

I saw Little Children over the weekend. It's very good and has lots to say but in the end it made me think we're all little children and all act as such. The difference between us is how and when our adult instincts, responsibilities and ethics kick in.

Anyone who stumbles along this little corner of the Internet knows that I'm wrestling with my inner granny. Along with my abnormal obsession with BBC programming and Masterpiece Theater (yes, last night's Jane Eyre was great!!!) I'm embarrassed to report that I recently made a purchase from the Foot Smart catalog. Good Lord! Along those same lines, I love my carpool partner's heated seats and, when seated in mine, often think I really need to get out dad's heating pad and lean into it one night. A heating pad! I ask you, what is more granny than that? Any day now, I expect to start complaining "my corns are killing me." Rest assured, I don't not presently have corns to complain about but I figure it's just a matter of time.

The happy news is that a few times a day I feel the little child within rearing her rambunctious little head. Today she did the following:

While leaving the restroom, I ran into the Big, Big, Big Boss. The restroom door is very close to a stairwell with a ridiculously large stuffed animal perched on a short wall. BBBB looked at me and said "Do you ever feel like just shoving that thing down the stairs?" I replied "Every time I pass him." Thank God! I thought I was the only one.

I've been fighting a cold for a over a week and have been triumphant except for the strange symptom of waking each morning with the gravelly voice of an 80-year-old, chain-smoking, slot-machine-addicted granny. As a result, I giddily discovered that I can comfortably sing along with Stevie Nicks throughout Landslide. I'm sorry, it's super-cool and I can't stop!

During lunch in the cafeteria, a friend nudged me and said 'There he is, my work fantasy boyfriend." She was right, he was definitely WFB material. It was just like junior high.

We're in the middle of intense financial meetings this week. Big groups of us meet with our finance team and run through numbers and strategies. My meeting isn't until later in the week. I'm therefore in the middle of cramming. A former boss finished her meeting this afternoon then rushed over to me and said "we haven't sent any of those emails. Can you do it?" (I realize this sounds simple but it's intended for a large distribution list, one that I haven't created yet. I'd have to compose the email then hand pick names from a list of thousands.) My response was "ARE YOU HIGH?! Oh, I get it, now that your meeting is over..." She just laughed at me. Everyone in cubicle land heard me. Dammit! It was like a taste of tourette's.

At the end of the day, I remain an annoying 13-year-old child. She's mostly kept under wraps but she likes to send inappropriate messages through my mind and they are in constant danger of escaping out of my mouth. I figured out what she might look like here. I'd post a pic of her but I'm tired and I can't figure out how to do it. Let's just say she is mightily sticking out her tongue, is wearing my phone headset, pig-tails and a "Kiss my Ass" tee shirt. Have fun putting a face to your inner child.

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