Sunday, April 8

Lucy has risen too... along with the whole neighborhood


A marauding gang of Christians woke me up this morning at 6:15. I kept hearing cars drive by and thought, Ok, it's Easter Sunday and the neighborhood is really getting to church this year. Good for them. Then I heard honking and lots of loud conversation. I gazed out from my shutters and saw about a dozen men in matching windbreakers "directing traffic". I put that in quotes because they were really preventing traffic flow to a nearby park. The problem is that there is a perfectly good, and legal, stop sign in front of my next door neighbor's house. Why were these fools stopping everyone 100 feet beyond the stop sign, and a half mile from the park, with their makeshift A-frame stop sign? And were the traffic cones really necessary? What calamity were they trying to prevent? From what I could see, all they were doing was keeping their congregation from getting to the church on time.

I was moments away from marching out there in my robe to tell them to pipe down when I thought "Ok, its Easter morning. It's a time of celebration. Let's not be angry." Trouble is, I was up 'til about 2:00 am, I have no idea why, and I would have been inappropriately rude. Honestly, it wasn't the waking me up part that made so angry, it was the inefficiency of their effort that was most offensive. I simply can't be expected to witness such a disorganized spectacle on four hours sleep.

I watched as these inconsiderate fools packed up their illegal traffic accoutrement which was not an organized or quiet endeavor either. I know I should be at church this morning, but rudely waking an entire unsuspecting neighborhood is no way to get people to your party.

The letter writer in me wanted to know which church these wise men were from. Did I mention they were all men? Men who did not get to Sunrise Service by the way. They all drove off in the opposite direction of traffic. I suppose they were following their marching orders and were off to open a church rec room somewhere. Anyway, the letter writer in me wanted to know which church they were from so I could call the pastor and ask that they cease their worthless traffic directing in the future. Naturally, the vans they drove off in were the only unidentifiable church vans known to man. No "Calvary Church" signs slapped on the sides of these vans. No, that would be too efficient.

We normally get a beautiful morning chorus from the birds at sunrise. Not today, the traffic boobs scared them all away. All except the crazy gang of squawking, runaway parrots that frequent the area. The parrots are extraordinarily loud and it was all I could do to keep from giggling as I heard them loudly fly overhead toward the services. I know, I know! I'll burn in hell but come on, that's funny stuff. If there's one thing I believe about God, it's that He has a great sense of humor.

1 comment:

Trooperdog said...

I can't believe they were so rude to be that loud that early in the morning. Despite having a sunrise service, they should be more considerate of the neighborhood at that hour! Too funny.