Monday, October 22

Meet Your Neighborhood Jackass

When it comes to disaster news coverage, I've noticed a disturbing trend. Lately, it seems reporters like to wear special gear and rely on certain bad behaviour depending on the news they are covering. The first time I noticed what I now call "The Jackass Shot" was during hurricane reporting. You know what I mean, the inevitable shot of some pathetic rookie clutching a street lamp in their pointless slicker while enduring one hell of a pelting from the driving rain and winds that are blowing them off their feet. This my friends is the classic Jackass Shot. We've all seen it and we've all shook our heads at those fools. Do we really need to see some reporter get worked over to believe it's really bad out there? Here is a perfect example: behold dipshit (Note: it gets especially amusing at the 50 second mark.)

In the past couple of days, during these awful So Cal wildfires, I noticed that the reporters are donning fireman coats "from the scene". Um, why are they wearing fire gear? They are in NO danger of being swept up into a fire. Check out what I mean in this "teaser clip". (I won't even go into how inappropriately excited our local news is about the situation.) Goggles and face masks have also become popular accessories on the news these days. Yes, it's a new and improved breaking news cast, folks. They've invested in wardrobe, it must be dangerous!

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the new and improved Jackass Shot:

What the hell is that all about?!

I've experienced California wildfires from an up-close-and-personal POV and while the air gets extraordinarily smoky and ash flies everywhere I don't recall ever having any great need for heavy fire gear. Shouldn't that kind of outerwear be reserved for somebody who is actually fighting a fire and not the moron talking about it? Oh, and did I mention it's about 90 degrees out today? There is no reason on earth for reporters to wear those damn coats!!!!!

On the other hand I'm oddly fascinated by the reporters in the studio who can talk for hours and hours with NO new news to report. They're like QVC hosts. I mean really, they can talk your ear off and never provide a sliver of real information. It's incredible.

I also love the universal eschewing of makeup during these trying times. The local reporters reek of an artificial sense that things are so tough out here I wouldn't dream of stopping for hair and makeup. As if lack of makeup means you're a real reporter. Whatever. You jerks stop people in the streets, who've just lost their homes, for their comments. Leave that sobbing family alone! It all makes me sick. While I hate to see people in peril, I look forward to watching those same reporters get worked during the next hurricane.

No comments: