Tuesday, December 11

Get a grip

Today I was introduced to the cute temp all the girls have been swooning over. I offered my hand for a hand shake and received the deal-breaker: this kid shook the first two digits of my fingers. For all I know, this is something men don't know about because they have never been offered this bullshit handshake but, as a woman, I can tell you I receive it about 20% of the time. It...drives...me...crazy. What is the intention behind this weak ass handshake? Is is because I'm a woman and some men fear their virile handshake might destroy me? Is it because they fear I might be contagious? I don't get it. Can somebody out there tell me why on earth a man would insult a woman with this lame handshake? Are there men out there actually teaching their little boys to shake hands this way? Do some men honestly believe this delicate handshake is at all appropriate? What the hell?!?

My Dad taught me how to give a firm handshake when I was a kid, back when kids knew to shake the hand of an adult they were meeting for the first time. He wanted me to be able to introduce me to adults in a polite manner but mostly, I think, he didn't want me to grow into a wimpy woman. He must have succeeded because that's one thing I've never been accused of. I've met some men who would rather not shake the hand of a woman for religious reasons but I've been fine with it because it was immediately explained to me. (Of course in my head I'm shouting "I'm having my period!!!! Is that a problem?!?!?!?" . I don't actually say that, I just like to think it and smile to myself.)

Anyway, the bottom line is that this temp may have been in line for a permanent position but when my boss asked me what I thought I told her the truth: a) I had not yet had any experience with his work and b) he gave me the finger handshake. I heard "Ewwww!" over the phone. Was that a mean detail for me to include in my analysis of this young man? Maybe, but first impressions mean a lot and I still can't understand why some men do this. Can somebody please enlighten me?


Chris Hyde said...

I totally agree with you. I've never heard of the two finger handshake. What the hell is that? Lame!

shandon said...

The two-finger handshake is only marginally better than the cold fish handshake, in which someone inserts his/her hand into yours and lets it rest there for a moment without moving it. Talk about ewwwwww!

kb said...

Sometimes when I get the two finger handshake, I want to scream out, "Do I REALLY look like some fragile woman who can't hold up to your manly hand? Hell, I probably outweigh you by ten pounds, ya wimp!"

Thom Singer said...

What if he just missed when he went in for the shake. He mis judged, grabbed your had wrong, and then just had to go with what he got?

Maybe a second handshake is needed to verify. Especially if you just derailed the guys shot at a new job.

Also, if he is a youngster....maybe you should teach him how to shake hands. I know a woman who calls men out on this. They think she is a b*tch for doing it, but my guess is they never make that mistake again.

Anonymous said...

lmfao. Two finger handshake? Sounds funky as hell.

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Anonymous said...

Wat if you get a two finger handshake from a gangster? Wat does it mean den..cuz it happend to my man.