MIA

I've been MIA lately. Sorry. I've just got lots on my mind and little time to jot any humorous anecdotes down. Here's a taste of the crap flying through my head these days:

• Oh my God, I have a completely new job. Where do I start?
• Oh my God, I'm so behind on Christmas shopping.
• I'm so clueless on world events these days. How do I catch up?
  
• Which Presidential candidate will screw me the least?
• I can't wait to see Sweeney Todd.
• Why does Sexyback still make me shake my tail feather at the office Holiday party?
• Damn! 3 hours of dancing and my knees still ache.
• I'm getting old.
  
• I think I like Alicia Keys now... what changed?
• I wanna crochet.
• I wanna read.
• How can I avoid going to a mall?
• I saved 2 cents per gallon today by filling up my tank this morning.
• How will I find time to get to the post office tomorrow?
• Only one week 'til vacation! YEA!!
  
• When will my favorite boss get promoted so I can work for her again?
• Why am I so tired?
• Oprah officially annoys me.
• I miss The Daily Show
  
• Where should I put all of the new wrapping paper?
• I'm relieved that 9-5 meeting on Tuesday was cancelled but I'm pissed that I did all of that prep work for nothing.
• He should have listened to us last week when we told him Tuesday was no good.
  
• When will he go away so we can go back to being an efficient, decisive organization with direction and decent communication?
• Am I becoming sexist because I prefer to work the women in my division?
• Do I really prefer working with women or is it just a coincidence that the only people who bug me at work happen to be men?
• Who was the weird guy at the Holiday party last night dancing all over the place?
• Who was the tramp doing back bends on the dance floor?
• I'm glad he said "Sorry, I'm out of dollar bills."
  
• Was it inappropriate to mention all of the workplace theft to the big boss?
• Did my hair get caught in that chair or did the big boss seriously pull my hair during the update?
• Is it possible for a friend to be even too gay for me?
• What should I get for mom, dad, bro, SIL for Christmas?
• I'm so bummed that the CD case she gave me was empty. It's possible I might actually like Mary J. Blige.
• Sweet Jesus, am I becoming an R&B/Hip Hop fan? *shudder*
• I'm cold.
• How late can I sleep in tomorrow?
• How much can I pack into Sunday so the rest of the week is easier?
• I have to figure out what I'm getting and when those stores open so I can be finished as early as possible.
  
• Should I go to work on the 24th so I don't have to count it as a vacation day?
• I really don't want to see my dumb Grandfather at Christmas. Maybe his sight is finally going and he won't notice me avoiding him.
• What was with that weird Christmas card?
• Should I keep the grey throw or exchange it for another color?
• Are the Packers on TV this weekend?
• I'm so disappointed in those moronic baseball players.
• I have GOT to get my Christmas cards out this weekend.
• Was it rude to mention what a great idea I thought it was to send gifts from Restoration Hardware to somebody who has finished his shopping for us?
• What the hell am I supposed to buy for co-workers? Which ones do I buy for? Why didn't I mention the "no gifts" rule earlier?
• When will I find time to pick up my newly framed stuff?
• Why did I spend so much on them?
• The tree smells nice.
• I have to return those Netflix movies.
• Why don't I have Showtime on Demand so I can watch Dexter?
• What should I wear tomorrow?
• I like this song.
  
• I need to pick out a new calendar. It's probably too late to get one I like.
• This Writer's Strike needs to settle. It's going to effect my '08. :(
  
• I need to slow down and notice the pretty stuff.
• Am I too negative?
• I have to do my five-year-plan.
• I have to review that contract on Monday.
• I've got to do my expenses on Monday.
• Should I book the January trip now?
• How can I help her calm down?
• It's too much.
• I'm lucky to have such easy "problems".
• I shouldn't complain.
  
• This post is too long and boring for anyone to actually read through.
• Oh well...
  

That's why I haven't been able to focus and come up with an interesting post. These thoughts won't leave me alone. Sorry to drag you into it.