Change of pace

To answer Shandon's question to my last post, no I'm not going from Columbine to Donner Lake. I thought about it but just couldn't do it.

My only problem with reading is that I have to get the pace just right. I can't read two heavy books back to back unless they are part of a series. I looked at my stack of books mentioned here and thought there was just too much darkness there for right now. Instead I scanned my bookcase and picked up Little, Big. I've only just begun but I really like it so far. I can't even tell you what it's about yet but I can say it's way out there in a Gabriel Garcia Marquez sort of way. I realize that's a hardcore comparison but the storytelling style really doe remind me of Marquez. It seems to be a book with some serious fans. I'm getting the impression you either love it or hate it. I wouldn't call it a quick read. It's actually sort of dense yet it's a good time. I'm enjoying it.

We'll see how it goes. I'll let you know.

Good, but I'm glad that's over

So, I finished Columbine this weekend. (Shandon, I'll bring it for you next time we get together). It's a very good, incredibly well-researched book that I recommend.

The author, Dave Cullen, a veteran NY Times reporter, goes minute by minute for much of the terrible event then flashes backwards then forward in alternating chapters. It may sound somewhat confusing but it's not. In fact the author does an excellent job of revealing key facts just as the reader needs to know them.

Columbine goes a long way in setting the record straight. It is an indictment on the media and how completely wrong they had it all. The local police department isn't much better. Questions continue to come up like, are the parents to blame? Cullen carefully lays out the facts and lets the reader decide. Who are the real heroes of Columbine? Again, that's up to you to decide. Most of the victims have moved on and prefer to forget about it. Their families are revealed as sometimes flawed but deeply caring people who, in the end, have a more difficult time moving on than those who survived the bullet wounds.

Primarily Columbine marches through the mythology of that terrible day kicking over each myth one by one. If you think you know what happened that day, you're more than likely wrong.

Cullen makes it clear that Eric Harris was a true psychopath. Dylan Klebold was a depressed suicidal follower. The author takes time to go into the mind of a psychopath and explains what motivates them. It's chilling.

My only complaint about the book is that I couldn't help but want to get through it quickly because the killers are nobody you want to spend any amount of time with. Cullen, however, does a great job of pacing the reader. If he had put some of the killer's most disturbing writings and videotaped dialog in the beginning of the book, I never would have made it through to the end. Instead he slowly reveals just who they were and eventually brings you to the most disturbing things they thought and said and ultimately what motivated them.

Needless to say, I'm moving on to lighter fare now. I'll let you know how that goes when I'm done.

Fun with embedding!

So, a friend/kindred spirit sent this to me recently:



It made me wonder how folks my age are not all brain damaged. I mean really! Just think of all the psychedelics it took to create theme songs like that and this:



and don't even get me started on the trippy evils of Sid and Marty:



But wait, there's more! What about the overt sexism in this opening sequence? It's a wonder I ever figured out girls could grow up to get degrees. Poor Angie. it's just terrible what a Lady Cop had to do to make a living back in the day (or, more precisely, every Friday night following the Rockford Files):



Shandon was kind enough to send me this one. We apparently couldn't even go to the movies without being terrified by the bloody background in this clip. What exactly is that?!



On the other hand, the television of my youth did help me understand just how much fun my future gay friends would be:



Ohhh, but then there's this one. I still love poor little misunderstood William. I bet he IS a good dad today:




And then there's this funkalicious beauty to bring it on home and make us feel better for how well we've all turned out:



And to remind us EVERY DAY of how great we're feeling, check out this super fun site. It's all there baby. Every last tune. Dusty's Treehouse anyone? How about Nanny & The Professor? The Carol Burnett Show? Phyllis? OMG! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Oh man, I could go on and on. Instead, I'll just let you poke around yourself. Just be sure to throw this genius a few bucks. No, I don't know them all I know is that I adore them. I smell a new set of ringtones!

Troubled Times Ahead

My friend Stacey believes I read only the most depressing/morbid books around. Stacey is under this impression because every time the question of "What are you reading?" comes up, inevitably I'm reading something on the plague, the dust bowl, the crazy Tudors or something along those lines. I contend that I like stories of survival and appreciate a good yarn.

It's true, I lean towards history and that can get a little inconsistent in terms of feel-good-factor.

I'm currently reading Columbine (don't tell Stacey). Another friend, Heidi, recommended it and I'd heard about it on NPR. It's being compared to In Cold Blood for God's sake. Next up? The Burn Journals about a 14 year old (self inflicted) burn victim and Live Through This, the story of a mother's search for her young runaway daughters. I picked those up after hearing a fascinating episode of This American Life that featured interviews and excerpts from both books.

Of course, between all of the above I'm also reading the Sookie Stackhouse series and enjoying those as well. But then the swine flu, err... excuse me, the H1N1 virus hit which naturally makes me want to re-read Hot Zone.

But then today The New York Times ran a review of The Indifferent Stars Above. Why am I interested in this book? Well, let's start with the full title: The Indifferent Stars Above - The Harrowing Saga of a Donner Party Bride. SOLD! How about that call out? "After reaching safety, Sarah Graves learns that her younger sister survived, in part, by eating their mother." Oh man! Of course I also liked it when the reviewer explains "I kept interrupting my husband, Ed, to relay the latest Donner dinner horror. "They're toasting their moccasins," I'd say. Ed happened to be reading Calvin Trillin's Feeding a Yen. "Calvin's eating fish tacos in Barbados," he'd answer. It went on this way for 100 pages. Boiled ox bones. Macaroni pie. Luis's organs! Pain baguette."

Awesome! Who's with me?

Time Suck

Got some time to kill? Check out this site and recall that bad dream we call the past 8 years. Just remember to do what you can to make sure we never go back there again.

Here is a little taste of the site. If they weren't so dead on I might be able to laugh harder.

Aah, youth

So this morning I ran across an article that I thought was pretty funny. You know how, in the old days, people at parties used to make out to Barry White and stoner's used to cue up Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon while watching The Wizard of Oz on mute? Well the young hipsters of today have their own new party trend and it's so geeky it flies in the face of all party rituals of the past. What is this new trend? Well, according to the New York Times, kids today like to watch Planet Earth on mute and play whatever alternative soundtrack they have lying around. This is happening in parties and clubs across the country. Having the DVD set prominently displayed on your bookcase is the cool new status symbol for the eco-gens.

I'm hoping this means Scarface worship is finally fading in popularity. I always found that social obsession to be so lame. I'm hoping the kids are finally realizing that shark snatching the seal out of mid air is so much more bad ass than Al Pacino and his "little friend".


Do you think we'll be seeing Planet Earth shoes any time soon or is that too much to hope for?


But here's the really weird thing, when you click on Planet Earth on Amazon the "Frequently Bought Together" option bundles Planet Earth with 300. Huh? I always recommend watching 300 on mute. What does this say about me? I'm so confused.

Well, this is wierd

This past Christmas I received a generous gift but one that's not exactly my "style". I use quotation marks because I wouldn't say I have exactly have a style but I do tend to know what I like and what I don't like. I was therefore perplexed when I received a Louis Vuitton wallet. You know it, it's the brown one with the "LV" stamped all over it. I'm not much of a label person but I was pretty sure it was more expensive than any wallet I've ever purchased for myself. So what did I do with it? I just sort of freaked and tossed it in with the rest of my purses and thought if I'm ever in Beverly Hills again maybe I'll take it in to the store. I don't want money for it, that seems rude. Although, it did come with a gift receipt so I think I was supposed to at least trade it in for something else if it wasn't to my liking. I've just never been a fan of that infernal LF logo. And then there is that awful commercial they sometimes show before movies in theaters. Ugh! I'm not exactly loving the idea of promoting LF by carrying it every day.

On the other hand, I must admit, it's a very nice wallet that would probably last me the rest of my life with a little care. If only those evil LFs weren't all over it.

This evening I finally got around to looking at the LF website to see if there might be something else I could exchange it for. Guess how much that brown wallet is? Just guess... I learned that it sells for $645. Can you imagine?! I poked around the site and found a slightly less LF'd wallet that I could trade up to for an additional $25. Still, do I seriously want to carry around a $700 wallet during a recession, or any time for that matter? Wouldn't I just walk out of the LF store at Hollywood and Highland and get mugged? Who needs that kind of paranoia? I also found $400 key chains and $4,000 watches on the site. Who buys that stuff?!

I did discover a nice Louis Vuitton fun fact. Becuase LF is the most knocked off brand in the world it is estimated that only 1% of the LF product out there is legitimate. That's gotta suck for the LF's corporate.

So, while I'm thankful to the kind gift giver who gave me the wallet, I'm still not sure what to do with it. I mean, I'm actually thinking of buying a car these days. That wallet is worth the equivalent of a navigation/satellite radio/BlueTooth/iPod ready system for the car I might drive for the next 10 years. It seems sort of silly to carry such a thing with me when I've been a miser for so long.

Maybe I'll just put it away and let somebody find a like-new "vintage" Louis Vuitton wallet in a drawer somewhere when I kick off. (Seriously, I just saw my old strawberry shaped Avon lip gloss circa 1979 on eBay for $45. Imagine what this wallet will be worth in 25 years.)

I know better people would sell it for half price on eBay and donate the proceeds to some food bank but I just don't see myself doing that. I know. I suck. I do give to charities monthly but... well I don't know. What would you do?

Have a Good Day!

Here are a few sites that make me laugh:

Cake Wrecks
Overheard in New York
Hidden Pictures (Remember these?!)
Photoshop Disasters
Smart Bitches, Trashy Books
Married to the Sea
Tramp Lamps
Judge a Book by It's Cover

You've probably seen most but I thought I'd share... just in case.

Enjoy!

Oy! What a week.

This week has been a bear. Three big deadlines all came to a head and it's been very busy and stressful at work. My priority has been my financials. We do a quarterly status update on how our year is coming along and it always involves lots of number crunching and loads of 8 pt font sized Excel sheets. These days it involves a lot of RED 8 pt font sized Excel sheets. I've gotten pretty good at it through the years but this time I was really stumped. Our numbers were so far down as of last night that I was convinced I was going to lose my job. It sucked.

Well, this morning I came in to find new and improved spreadsheets. After lunch they were even better. I heart my finance person, her name is Sharon and she ROCKS! Eventually we determined that lots of the loss was due to coding issues. In other words, we weren't getting credit for sales we knew had occurred. At one point my EVP walked by and saw me looking very sullen with my head in my hand. He just said "Lucy, it's gonna be ok." *sigh* Bottom line: My Supervisor and I are feeling much better this evening.

One of the best things that happened is that I received samples of my stuff that will be out there for holiday '09. It looks fantastic! It looks so good that I immediately took it to my Director, held it all up and said "This makes all the pain worth while." She agreed and wanted to show it to our EVP who insisted we immediately take it to our GM. Our GM loved it all so much that she asked to keep it to show the head of our division. It was great! It's a group of product that I was directly responsible for and am very proud of.

In the end, my group and I hit or are ahead of our deadlines. I'm even able to take this Monday and Tuesday off. I'm feeling a bit guilty about it so I'll probably do some work from home but at least I'll get to sleep in.

Oh, and best of all... In Treatment's second season started this week and it's as addictive as ever. Check it out.

When life gives you lemons...

I know Spring officially arrived a while ago but today was MY first day of Spring.

Today I decided to drop my Mom off at my niece's softball game while I ran some quick errands. We pulled up to the ball park and the day suddenly seemed so nice and it's been so long since I sat in the sun that I decided to blow off the errands and soak up the sun for a while. I'm glad I did. I can still smell the sunscreen on my skin.

I don't know when it happened but my sweet little niece is now hitting against girls who do that crazy windup, underhand pitch. She doesn't even flinch when the ball flies by. It's not like these kids have much control either but she just stares 'em down and goes for it. I'm 42 years old and I'd be scared to hit against those kids. Another new thing is very loud music at the field. The grandmas hated it but when I heard The Beastie Boys Brass Monkey it swept me right back to my one "alcoholic" Summer. Let's just say it was a fun Summer and leave it at that.

On the way home I decided to make dinner for my parents. I grilled chicken in a citrus marinade alongside some vegetables. I picked a bunch of great lemons from the tree and made my first glass of fresh squeezed lemonade of the year. It was good. About 6 lizards scattered as I approached the lemon tree. I know some folks don't like lizards but I don't mind them. Every year we seem to have one or two who, when it gets really hot out, like to spend sundown heating their bellies on the pavement by the pool. I always see them out there, through the window, as I'm making dinner and they always make me smile.

While I chopped, stirred and squeezed, I listened to an oldie but a goodie on my iPod. I listened to The Eagles Live. It's probably not the most admired album out there but it too makes me smile and takes me back. I hadn't heard it for probably 15 years or so. The Eagles Live takes me back to around my eleventh year. We had moved to the desert and befriended a family with kids around my age. The Dad ran the local Coors distributorship. The beer was free and plentiful (not for us kids though... don't worry) and the Eagles were playing non-stop at every barbecue that Summer. Coors even sponsored my brother's soccer team. They had the coolest uniforms you've ever seen. Can you imagine that flying today? Beer ads on kids uniforms? No way. Some things have certainly changed for the worse.

In the end it was a lovely day that has left me in a great mood. I guess it was the sun. Well, the sun and getting out in the yard to pick fruit. The yard is filled with the scent of orange blossoms and stock, my favorites. Those scents mixed together will forever make me think of my Dad's garden. I tend to stay out of the sun because, as we hear constantly it's SO damn bad for us, but maybe I need get out in it a bit more. Yeah, sun and fresh lemonade, I see a lot of that in my immediate future.

Bro

I've posted things on my mom and my dad but I've never talked in depth of my brother, Michael. I'd like to do so today because he deserves some credit.

When he first became a father it was weird to see my little brother care for a tiny baby but he took to it like a fish to water. He and his wife, Laurie, have a pretty laid back parenting style that seems to work. Their kids are both personality plus and very smart. I vividly recall walking in to their house when my nephew, Jake, was less than a year old. He was just a tiny little thing laying on the floor with his head resting on a Boppy holding a bottle watching a golf tournament. Michael was in the back yard and Laurie was in the kitchen a few yards from Jake. He was perfectly content as the dog, an attentive sheltie, lay curled up next to him. I waved hello to Jake, he smiled at me then went on to watch the rest of his rounds of golf. If he could have said "yo" he would have. Jake also had early and inexplicable fondness for Miles Davis. He would lay on that Boppy with his bottle and listen to Miles for ages perfectly happy to do so. That's pretty much how the kid is to this day. Very laid back and content.

Yesterday I called Michael but got my niece, Alex, instead. We chatted for a while before she revealed that my brother was at batting practice with Jake. I tried him on his cell to leave a message because I knew he wouldn't pick up. It's one of my favorite things about him. When Michael is with his kids he is very "in the moment" and rarely talks on his cell or uses the Blackberry. He never answers his cell on the weekends because it's a business phone. If he uses any device off hours, it's because he's doing something for the kids. He may check a Dodgers score for Jake or make arrangements to drop the kids off at a friend's house but on the weekends that's about all he'll do on his Blackberry.

After yesterday's shocking display of lame-ass parenting it reminded me what a great job my brother is doing. I told him I admired the fact that he doesn't pick up his phone at practice because it's a rare ability these days. He just said "well yeah" a if to say "I'm not one of THOSE parents".

I also love my brother because he is loyal beyond description. For instance, an ex-boyfriend, who gives me the creeps, keeps trying to re-connect with me. I politely decline each time but every other year or so he'll resurface and try again. It's not flattering, it's annoying. I hold no grudge for the guy but do have memories of lots of drama so I choose to stay away from him. Anyway, this weekend he tried, yet again, to re-connect this time via Facebook. I promptly hit the "Ignore" button then thought 'Oh God, I just know he's going to try to befriend my brother and my dad.' I called my brother today for a few reasons then got to the ex. I just said "Hey if --- throws you a friend request on Facebook could you please just hit "Ignore"? His reply was short and sweet "Sure. No problem." There was no question as to why or what had happened, no comment, no judgement just a solid "sure". How great is that? How many times have you just needed somebody to say "No problem" without any question and actually received that response? It's pretty cool. It's because Michael is repelled by drama. He doesn't want to know about it and he certainly doesn't want to participate in it. It's another rare quality that I admire. Of course there are times when he probably should intervene but doesn't. Like this afternoon.

While on the phone with him today he asked "Can you hear that?" he was referring to a car horn. Well, more precisely a school bus horn. He has some unfortunate neighbors. The father is apparently an alcoholic, the mother suffers from depression, at best, and has a history of suicide attempts and they have two kids with autism. I know, bummer huh? Well, needless to say it's an unhappy household. When Michael and Laurie began a conversion of their garage into a home office these neighbors contacted the city daily attempting to stop all construction. Laurie acted as an entirely by the book contractor so the neighbors never got anywhere plus it did nothing to improve any of the the other neighbors feelings for them. In fact their annoying and pointless actions alienated them and the whole street turned on them. ANYWAY, it seems the horn honking is a daily ritual. It's the school bus alerting the parents that the kids are home and a parent is supposed to come and get the kids at the curb. Because the bus is full of special needs children the bus driver can not leave to go knock on the door. My brother knows when the bus arrives for pick up and drop off because he hears the honk every week day. Unfortunately the times, although very regular, are a daily surprise to the parents. Michel says that the last record was 14 minutes of honking. As we spoke they were about to break the record. After hanging up I got email updates on the bus status. I kept telling my brother to go help the poor bus driver by knocking on the neighbor's door but he refused. Again, not wanting any exposure to drama. (When the ambulance came to pick up the neighbor following her suicide attempt, Michael worked in the back yard ignoring the scene that held the rest of the neighborhood transfixed.) The driver would occasionally drive away to drop off another kid then return and try honking again. In the end, the bus driver honked for 45 minutes blowing the old record out of the water. It's bad enough that those parents didn't come out to pick up their own kid for 45 minutes but what about all of the worried parents on the route who had to wait all that time for their kids to get home? I'm sure it had a domino effect that prevented other parents from picking up other kids from school on time. The thought makes me nuts! I emailed Michael with a "Dude, you should really go knock on that door. The mom may have finally succeeded in offing herself." His reply was only "Maybe?!"

*sigh*

He does make me laugh. Here is one of the photos of Michael I found on my MacBook Photobooth one day. He doing what he does best, being a goofy Dad. I wish there were more like him.

Irresponsible

I saw Watchmen this afternoon. I liked it more than I thought I would. I was dreading the 2 hour and 45 minutes length but felt it was a pop cultural thing that I just had to get under my belt. I went with a friend who knows the filmmakers and many on the crew because she went to school with them. She also happens to be a burn survivor. She was once burned over 25% of her body. Needless to say she is not fond of seeing people burn on screen. She was annoyed that none of her friends warned her that there were countless people on fire in the film.

But that fact only annoyed her. What outraged her, and me too for that matter, was the fact that some moron brought his son who could not have been over the age of four to see Watchmen! It was so disturbing to watch that movie, a hard R rated movie, knowing there was a very small child just a few rows in front of us.

When we walked into the theater I heard my friend say to somebody "You know this really might be a but much for him." I turned to see her talking to a girl around 13 years old about the 4 year old. The girl just shrugged as we took our seats. A few minutes later her youngish dad arrived and she hopped up to sit elsewhere with her friend.

Later my friend and I were talking about this disturbing occurrence. She wondered what would possess a father to bring such a young kid to that movie. I told her I knew exactly what it was. Divorced daddy wants to finally see his favorite graphic novel on the big screen. It's his weekend to have the kids so he brings them and really doesn't care how inappropriate it is for his little boy because it's all about what daddy wants. I felt like walking up to him to say "Guess what? You're now a grown up. You now have responsibilities. You don't get to just do whatever you want. You have kids and that means sacrifice. If you weren't prepared to make those sacrifices then you shouldn't have had those poor kids." Ugh! I get so mad at people like that. That kid doesn't stand a chance. I think back on the violence in that film and cringe. I don't think he fully understood it all but still, what an assault. No wonder kids are so messed up these days!

Knock out!

I almost hopped online last night at 11:30 to blog about this but was just too tired. I'm doing it now instead.

Last night I watched Jon Stewart clean Jim Cramer's clock and it was amazing. I was a journalism major and have been disappointed with the media more and more as the years have flown by since college. I was thrilled to see somebody ask difficult questions, to the point of being uncomfortable to watch, and still just keep on going. It is incredibly rare in modern day interviews. It was such a relief!

It's ridiculous that Jon Stewart is turning out to be the best media critic out there but the guy is whip smart and isn't afraid to attack those who deserve it. After Jon Stewart's now infamous appearance on Crossfire, Cramer should have had a clue but he seemed humbled and without a lot fight in him. It was ugly.

I'm sure plenty of folks out there are whining that mean old Stewart shouldn't pick on poor little Cramer but too bad. To be fair, late in the interview, Stewart acknowledged that it's unfortunate that Cramer has become the poster boy for all that MSNBC got wrong. Regardless, Stewart never eased up. I'm so happy to know there is somebody out there willing to do cringe worthy interviews. God knows it can't be easy. Backing down has been the typical journalistic response for far too long. I'm glad media folks are seeing what Jon Stewart is capable of and that they really need to be more respectful of him. Frankly, they should fear him because he's smarter than all of them. Now if The Daily Show could just book Rush it would be a dream come true.

If you missed the interview, it's all here. There was a lot more that didn't air. It can be found here.

Pusher

About twice a month I scroll through the TCM listings in my Tivo and decide what to record in the coming weeks. I thought I'd share a few highlights with you.

Here are my picks (all times are pst):

DOUBLE INDEMNITY- 3/13 @ 5:00 pm
I know we've all seen it dozens of times but, frankly, that's still not enough.

MILDRED PIERCE - 3/13 @ 7:00 pm
I'm sorry but Double Indemnity followed by Mildred Pierce?! Sign me up!

NOSFERATU - 3/15 @ 9:00 pm
Ok, don't freak out. I've never seen this. I think it's time.

THE QUIET MAN - 3/17 @ 5:00 pm
I just plain like this movie. It's by far my favorite John Wayne.

DARK VICTORY- 3/19 @ 3:00 am
One of my favorite Betty Davis films. Also showcases my all time favorite make-over. Betty loses the padding and plucks her eyebrows and voila! She's a recovered wall flower turned megawatt social butterfly. Sweet!

SEVEN BRIDES FOR SEVEN BROTHERS - 3/20 @ 6:15 am
I know... I know... It's completely misogynistic and should entirely offend me but dammit I love it!

A PLACE IN THE SUN - 3/22 @ 7:00 am
I Luuuuuuuv this movie. Elizabeth Taylor and Monty Clift could not be more beautiful and Shelley Winters could not be more annoying. Bring it!

STRAIGHT-JACKET - 3/23 @ 1:30 pm
Norm and I watched this for a while at Shandon's Halloween party and I think it's safe to say he enjoyed it as much as I did. It features tons of Joanie Crawford over-acting and it's awe-some! (This appears to be part of a Joan Crawford marathon... enjoy!!)

SHADOW OF DOUBT- 3/24 @ 8:00 am
Incredibly creepy Hitchcock film that I can't believe they are playing so early in the day.

Of course there are lots of other nice gems on TCM throughout the next couple of weeks these are just the titles that I am most excited about.

I also happen to have an ulterior motive. I'm pushing the idea of a DVR on poor Shandon. I'm hoping posts like this help her bite the inevitable bullet. Come on Shandon DO IT!!

Small World

A few months ago Mom visited our local insurance agency. Our family has used the same insurer for decades. While there she inquired about the man behind the business. He was there and came out to say hello. They quickly fell into conversation when he asked, as many do, where my Mom was from. She has a Texas accent so he asked what part of Texas she was from. Long story short, our insurance broker is from my Mom's small home town. They went to the same high school but several years apart. Amazing!

This weekend I received an email from one of the women in the insurance office. I apparently sent her a book from Bookmooch. She recognized my last name on the return label and wanted to say hello. We keep having these funny little coincidences with our local insurance office.

Best of all my new book buddy turned me on to another fun swapping site. I'm now on Paperback Swap and a sister site Swap-a-DVD. They're great! I may like them even better than Bookmooch because with a little deposit from PayPal I can do one-click printing of all shipping labels with postage. No need to visit the post office anymore. I just drop them in any mail box and I'm done. It's great! I've already sent four DVDs and should receive two in about a week. I didn't even officially ask for my DVDs. I just put a few movie titles on a wishlist and next thing I knew I had a email informing that my request had been accepted and my DVD was on the way. Cool!

If you've got some old books or DVDs that you don't plan to revisit I highly recommend these sites. They also have a Swap-a-CD site. Time is hard people, share and enjoy!

Best Gun Show Ever!

So, I've been dealing with a cold for the last week. I didn't miss work because, unlike my last illness, a cold is portable. I did, however, stay home for most of the weekend for some R & R. While resting I discovered a favorite new show on DIY Network called Desperate Landscapes. I love a good before and after show especially if they can do it in a 30 minute show format. I like Desperate Landscapes because the before and afters are dramatic and the host is cute. Best of all, the guy's got great guns. I've always loved men with big arms but throw in some landscaping and carpentry know-how and you've got yourself a dream man. With skills like that the guy rivals even these guys.

The other fun new show I'm enjoying this fine weekend is Indoors Out. It's all about building outdoor "rooms" in ordinary backyards. The hosts are very likable Italian cousins who really know their stuff. I'm learning all about outdoor decking, stones and masonry. Cool! Again, the before and afters are impressive so I'm a happy gal.

I watched some of Renovation Realities but it can be a painful show to watch. The show often resembles a train wreck. I recommend cocky DIYers take a gander before ripping up their kitchens. More than once I heard someone on this show say "The worst thing that can happen is that the house could blow up." Umm, yeah, that's why you should hire a professional.

The only trouble is that the DIY Network is really making me want a backyard of my own. I'm taking notes on how to do some low maintenance landscaping. I don't relish the thought of mowing a lawn but I like the idea of an outdoor fireplace or fire pit. Hmm, well, a girl can dream.

Pops

I love my Dad. He's a unique guy with unique interests. He takes a lot of jibes from the rest of the family, mostly for the gear he sometimes has to wear, but he sticks to his guns and does what he loves.

He's an avid birder and naturalist and was one long before I came along. He's traveled the world to see countless exotic birds. He likes South American birding best. He's had many adventures and cherishes them all. The man has all kinds of crazy stories from his travels. He once woke to a strange noise which turned out to be a wild monkey ripping apart the bed next to his. (I think I'd literally die if I woke to that.) He can tell you about his favorite pet named Carmen whom he met in Venezuela. When I saw the pictures of Carmen I asked "What the hell is that?!" He said "That's Carmen! She's a sweetheart." Carmen was a capybara. In my eyes she was a giant rat, just like the one in The Princess Bride, and I never wanted to meet her. Who knew those things really existed? My dad has a quicksand story for God's sake! I think I assumed quicksand was just the stuff of cartoons until he told me about having to help a friend out of it once. Needless to say my Mom and I have never fancied traveling with Dad to South America.

Dad is an Environmental Engineer by trade. He's all about conservation and he's not afraid to take on City Hall if they're doing something stupid which is harming the environment. If someone is doing something stupid he taught me to speak up. He taught me to recycle back in the 70's... waaaaaaay before it became hip. He taught me to love nature, classical music and the Dodgers. He taught me how to play chess and to never cheat at anything. We tend to see eye to eye on most things. We gripe about or, more recently, celebrate politics together. We share most world views but occasionally we part ways in opinions.

Yesterday Pops once again exhibited his uniqueness. He may have outdone himself this time. Yesterday Pops brought this home. Yup, it's what it looks like, it's a blowgun. Who knew anyone actually manufactured these things? I guess I assumed you had to be a tribe native and carve your own.

A quick Google search confirms that most folks out there with blowguns are complete wingnuts. They tend towards the wannabe ninja and survivalist types. Luckily my Dad is neither. He is just into pest control. While some folks like to call an exterminator, Dad prefers to take pests on himself the Havahart way... until now. I think he's adopting a No-More-Mr.-Nice-Guy approach. I think the rats, who eat all of the avocados off our tree every year, may be want to rethink their sojourn into Dad's territory.

I just hope Dad doesn't decide to wander the neighborhood with his trusty blowgun slung over his shoulder. How would we explain that to the neighbors? Then again, when he bought his low-tech push lawn mower the neighborhood was abuzz with nostalgia. Somehow I'm not so sure they'd be as enthusiastic about a blowgun.

Well, that I gotta see!

I've been vaguely looking forward to seeing Watchmen.

Because of this mild curiosity, I decided to take a look at the Watchmen (Music from the Motion Picture) tracks on iTunes. I've got to say I'm intrigued. Most are common enough tracks but given the overall look of the film it's a pretty kooky mix. Check it out:

01 - My Chemical Romance - Desolation Row
02 - Nat King Cole - Unforgettable
03 - Bob Dylan - The Times They Are A-Changin'
04 - Simon And Garfunkel - The Sound Of Silence
05 - Janis Joplin - Me And Bobby McGee
06 - K.C. & The Sunshine Band - I'm Your Boogie Man
07 - Billie Holiday - You're My Thrill
08 - The Philip Glass Ensemble - Pruit Igoe & Prophecies
09 - Leonard Cohen - Hallelujah
10 - Jimi Hendrix - All Along The Watchtower
11 - Budapest Symphony Orchestra - Ride Of The Valkyries
12 - Nina Simone - Pirate Jenny

See what I mean? It's just flip and disturbing enough to pull me in.

I like that! Who's with me?

Near Death Experience

I'm not speaking of my near death, I'm speaking of my niece's. I almost killed her last night.

We occasionally have sleep-overs. I can only manage them on "non-school" nights because my niece prevents me from getting much sleep. She grinds her teeth, kicks and fidgets all night. Being a light sleeper this can be a problem. One famous night she awoke at "four-three-oh" wanting to go to McDonald's. She almost met her end that night. Her brother, who sleeps on my bedroom floor for our sleep overs, began a whispered fury that could have melted paint. My niece didn't seem to mind.

Last night at three-three-oh-
Alex (my niece): Auntie Lucy, are you awake?
Lucy: ...
Alex: Auntie Lucy, I can't sleep.
Lucy: ...
Alex: Auntie Lucy?
Lucy: You can play with the DS but you have to use the earbuds.
Alex: Ok. Where is it.
Lucy: It's on the floor between your brother and the bookcase. But don't wake him up. (I held up my iPod as a flash light and pointed it downward.)
Alex: (Standing next to her brother immobile) ...
Lucy: What's wrong? It's right there.
Alex: I can't.
Lucy: Why not?
Alex: I'll wake him up and he'll be mad at me.
Lucy: Oh for God's sake! (Hanging off the bed searching for the DS).
Lucy: Here. (handing her the DS)
Alex: Thanks.
Lucy: If you switch games, don't lose it in the sheets.
Alex: Ok. (Yanking the tiny game chip out of the DS and accidentally winging it across the room... in the dark.)
Lucy: (wearily) Little girl, I'm going to kill you.


30 minutes later (four-oh-oh)-

Alex: Auntie Lucy, I have to go to the bathroom but it's too scary.
Lucy: Here. (Again handing her the iPod as a flashlight) Don't drop it in. Put it on the counter.
Alex: (Walking to bedroom door then turning back) It's still too scary. (Walking back to edge of my bed to stare at me.)
Lucy: (Throwing blankets off and sitting up on edge of bed). You should be more afraid of me because I'm really going to kill you this time. (Reaching out and wrapping both hands around her little neck)
Alex: (Giggling wildly)

After the bathroom break and more game play Alex eventually put the DS down and tried to go back to sleep. OMG.

I'm still so tired. I'll be spending the day doing laundry and reading. Thank God for lazy Sundays.

I love those kids but they exhaust me. Well, more precisely, Alex exhausts me. My nephew, Jake, is much like me when I was his age. He's able to entertain himself quietly for hours. Alex, on the other hand, is a bit loud and full of energy and wants my participation in most of what she's doing.

We do have fun though. My Mom spoils them more than I do. I tend to be more strict about washing hands, brushing teeth and trying to be careful about what they watch on tv but last night I threw in the towel. We found a terrible show on TruTv called World's Wildest police Videos. There was a mini-marathon. There was much wild cheering and clapping from the kids. Mom always enjoys a good car chase so this was right up her alley.

Things you may have overheard from us last night-

Lucy: The very best one so far was that one with the bomb going off in that guy's backpack. What a loser!
Jake: Yeah! That was the best!!!

Later-
Alex: (Walking in from the another room) Did you hear me calling you?
Lucy: Yes, I was ignoring you.
Alex: Why?
Lucy: Because as long as you're shouting, you're breathing and I've done my job.
Alex: ...
Lucy: What did you want?
Alex: Your tv changed the channel.
Lucy: ... (Racking my brain trying to recall what the Tivo would be recording.)

I checked and realized my Season Pass for True Blood had decided to record the East Coast feed of the hard R-rated show. Ooooops.

Lucy: (Calling out from the other room) Did you see anything nasty?!
Alex: No.

Guess that will teach me to ignore the kid. I later checked the episode and realised it was the one that opens with the Rattray's beating the hell out of Sookie while cursing a blue streak. I do know that Alex was out of the room by the time the opening credits began and the video of Maudette and Jason began. Phew, that was close!

Oh, and that photo above? I find dozens of those on my MacBook Photobooth following each trip the kids make to the house. They always make me laugh.

Not a Dick in sight

What a relief!

This is getting weird

Maybe it was all the Oscar stuff, but this weekend it occurred to me that I have such a "type" that it's ridiculous. What am I talking about? I'm talking about dream men. Here are a few of my current faves:





Do you see a trend here? Sheesh, I'm a mess! I can't help it though. I think these guys are as dreamy as they come. I blame my mother. Even Mom says "hubba hubba" when she sees George and Clive. I guess it's in the blood.

Pardon me while I gaze at the monitor.

Good News/Bad News

I've been home sick with a stomach bug for two days. I'm also suffering from a lot of guilt because, between national holidays and my own vacation time, I've haven't been at work much lately. I always feel somewhat guilty staying home sick but especially lately. A few weeks ago a lot of good friends lost their jobs due to layoffs. This is hardly unique to my company. In fact I can't think of another company I associate with that hasn't had at least one round of layoffs. Some companies I know of have had up to three rounds of lay offs. All I know is that it all sucks. I've been laid off before and was unemployed for 7 months. I didn't like it. On one hand you keep thinking that you should try to enjoy the down time but it's all so stressful that there doesn't seem to be any down time. In other words, I'm extremely grateful to have a job that provides two days of paid sick time.

So, here I am recovering from the effects of Montezuma's evil twin and feeling guilty. I did manage to get a lot of sleep so that helped. I also got to read a lot. I turned off the tv and listened to a lot of classical music. Lately I've been really into Rachmaninoff's Vespers , Chopin's Nocturnes and a disc called Classics for the Heart (cheesy name, really good classical mix). It's all extremely mellow stuff bordering on the depressing but excellent to read to. At least I find it relaxing to read to. I'm not sure what this selection of music says about my state of mind lately. All I know is that I've read the first two Sookie Stackhouse books in the past couple of days. For those of you who enjoy HBO's True Blood, this means that I still love Bill but Eric is growing on me. A friend warned me this might happen. It all just makes me look forward to True Blood returning this summer even more.

Birth of a phobia

So, the one thing I neglected to mention in my last post was my fun new fear of tight spaces. As I've grown older I've been vaguely aware that I'm slowly becoming more and more claustrophobic. I can handle elevators and most situations but every once in a while I feel freaked out by a space.

While in Big Bear I had a nightmare. I dreamt that I was somehow floating towards the ceiling corner of a wooden room. I opened my eyes to find I was only a few inches from the top corner of the room. I tried to push myself away from the corner but couldn't. I woke up in a panic. I thought I was PMS'd or something and told myself to calm down. Everything was fine but I was still freaking out. As I slowly woke up I realized I had ear plugs in and socks on. Good Lord! I pulled out the plugs and kicked off the socks but still felt entirely panicked. I then remembered that I was sleeping in a child's bunk bed. The bunk bed was made of wood, the same wood in my nightmare. Aaaaaaaaaah! I sat up on the edge of the bed and took quiet, deep breaths. I didn't want to wake my friend sleeping in the bed opposite me. I tried to distract myself by playing a few minutes of Scrabble on my iPod but ultimately couldn't handle that damn bed. I used the iPod as a flashlight and went downstairs with my copy of Twilight. I laid on the couch and read for about an hour and a half then fell to sleep. When I woke I felt much better but could not stand the thought of laying in that bunk bed ever again. Turns out the couch had a pull out bed in it so that's where I slept the last night of our trip.

My friend was working on a scrap book of her summer vacation with her family. She showed me a concrete space that the kids had to fit through in order to take a tour of some cave in Wyoming. She said none of the adults came close to fitting through the test space. Come to think of it, that may have why I dreamed of a close space that night. Anyway, the adults took an elevator down to the caves and met the kids at the bottom. The pictures of the cave freaked me out. They are cool and all but I can't understand the desire to go down there in such a small space. Whaaaaaaaaagh!

So there you have it. I'm mildly claustrophobic and it sucks. My friend said she has always been that way. She can't stand to have a hand on or near her face. Turns out her older brothers used to cover her face while wrestling with her back when they were kids. She's been freaked out about it ever since. Also, she is 6'2" (a former volleyball player) and figures she's just not used to having to share the space up there with very many people. I'm 5'10" so she figures the same could easily apply to me. It's an interesting thought. No matter, I'll never sleep in a bunk bed again. *shudder*

In appreciation of diet coke, snow blowers & modern technology

This morning I woke up at 7:30, brushed my teeth, pulled on snow boots and a coat (over my pjs) grabbed a shovel and started shoveling snow. It's not many days when this is my morning routine but over the weekend I learned how the folks back east do it.

Last Friday morning two good friends and I drove up to a cabin in Big Bear. We brought plenty of craft supplies, chick flicks and a special "Girl's Weekend" playlist on the iPod. The worst part is always unloading the ridiculous amount of crap that we bring with us. The best part is never wearing makeup, staying up late, in sweat pants, and relaxing all weekend. What we do to that poor little cabin is amazing. It pretty much looks like a craft store exploded in there. We typically hole up in the cabin and make maybe one trip out to dinner. I SO needed a break like this. It was great!

All in all we had amazing luck. It was snowing in Big Bear last Friday when we departed but, just when the roads should have gotten very hairy for us, the clouds parted and the sun shone just long enough for us to get into town, go to the grocery store for supplies and get to the cabin. It literally clouded up and began snowing as we pulled into the driveway of the cabin. It then proceeded to snow, and snow, and snow. It was wonderful... until yesterday.

Yesterday we were supposed to come home. Around 10:30 am my friend's sis-in-law called to ask when we planned to leave. I told her a couple of hours. Now, this is not a worry wart sort of woman but she was concerned. She proceeded to tell me it was raining and hailing like mad at her house and it was headed our way. She thought we should wait it out. After several phone calls to family members with Internet service we discovered a snow plow had gone off the road and most roads to Big Bear were closed some due to avalanches. WTF? We figured if snow plows were sliding off the road and avalanches were occurring we didn't stand a chance. After much texting and dozens of calls back home we decided to stay an extra day. I'm so glad we did.

This is what the car looked like after being dug out of the snow yesterday morning. The snow kept coming and it got much worse. The snow on that top railing got up to about 18 inches.


Here is the view from the back door of the cabin as it snowed.

My friend's brother (the owner of the cabin) said he sat in front of a client's office in his car as the rain and wind rocked it back and forth and all he could think was "I hope those idiots don't try to leave today." My friend's other brother has always made a living as part either Search & Rescue or within the Sheriff's Dept. He is an incredibly nice guy who lives to help people. We spoke to him a lot and he didn't like the idea of us leaving either.

Here is a look at the fire I kept burning all weekend. All weekend until the wood pile got too covered with snow and the wood became too smoky from the moisture.


Today, however, was a beautiful day in Big Bear. The snow was so dry and powdery even I thought skiing might be fun. However, another storm is expected tomorrow so it was get out today or not for a long time. We managed to dig out the car and pack it by 9:30 am.

This was the view from the back door this morning. It was so gorgeous!


While shoveling snow we met our neighbor, Jim. Jim has a fabulous golden lab named Buck. Buck apparently has a touch of arthritis but it seems to disappear when snow arrives. I knew Buck must be a Big Bear native as I watched him bound up our deck stairs then very cautiously step down the stairs. I can relate to Buck. Buck and I have obviously biffed it down many a step in our lives. Jim was nice too:

Jim: I'm glad to see you. I was really worried.
Lucy: Oh, we're fine.
Jim: Ya know folks close up their houses in this weather and die of asphyxiation all the time around here. I worried all day yesterday. I was going to come over today to check on you so I'm so glad to see you're ok.
Lucy: You're very thoughtful but we just ran out of Diet Coke. That slows a girl down.

Later, after introducing us to Buck he said "Yeah, if anything ever happened to Buck I might have to go back to one of my ex-wives.

I liked Jim.

After cleaning and winterizing the cabin we left at 11:00 am. We had a four wheel drive vehicle with snow tires and carried chains (as required). What normally takes about 30 minutes to drive took 1 1/2 hours. We decided to go "the back way" since it's curves are more gentle. In other words, I don't get as car sick via that route. We drove about an hour and a half when suddenly all traffic stopped. People got out of their cars and started talking. Turns out a tanker truck had jack knifed about a 1/4 mile ahead of us on a bend and was blocking traffic both ways. We called my friend's brother to see if he knew if it had been reported and when it might be cleared. He said it hadn't even been reported yet. Damn! Our options were to either wait it out or try to turn around. We decided to wait ti out. We had good books and snacks and papers to grade so... whatever. My only vague concern was where would I go to the bathroom when that became necessary? While we waited we watched several idiots make it worse for everyone else. Some moron in an Audi thought he'd turn around. He just promptly slid into a snow drift blocking traffic that eventually made it up the road. He then decided to throw his door open just as a snow plow drove around him. What an imbecile! Meanwhile, his wife was slipping and sliding all over the road with a snow shovel some good samaritan gave them. It's a wonder she didn't slip under oncoming traffic. We just sat and shook ours heads. Thirty minutes later the road opened up to a one-way road then finally a two-way. We continued about a half mile then stopped again. This time there was a "minor" accident up ahead and nobody was directing traffic. Great. Apparently, some a-hole was so excited to be moving again that he overshot a bend and hit another car. Thanks a lot genius. We saw a lot of stupid behaviour. Like the guy with the bed of his truck filled with snow and spikes of icicles. I understand the novelty of dragging fresh snow down to your home but don't these people understand that weighing down the bed of a truck on unstable wheels while going DOWN hill may be a tad dangerous? I'm also not a fan of the people who leave the snow on top of their cars on the way downhill. Trouble is, the sun melts the snow and a minor tap to the brakes makes it all slide down on to the windshield eliminating all visibility. It sucks.

Aside from the sometimes inconvenient traffic, I had an absolutely wonderful weekend. I got lots of r&r and feel so much better. We had no cable so no news penetrated our little crafting bubble except for the weather reports received yesterday. For five beautiful days we didn't hear a thing about job losses, recession, missing children or the economy. One friend was deep in the Twilight series. She read book three and started book four while we were up there. The most stressful question was "Will Edward and Bella end up together?" My friend tried to get me to spill the beans on the series, she even texted her daughter with questions but her kid is a good one and wouldn't talk. Let me tell you, life is good when the Edward/Bella question is the most serious in the house.

It's back to work for me tomorrow but next weekend is another long one. I'm so grateful. I plan watch more chick flicks, read and make stuff. I hear it's supposed to rain. I really hope so. I know I'm strange but I love a good long, rainy weekend.

Is that bad?

Is it bad that the first thing I thought when I saw that picture was 'Holy shmokes! Can you imagine how high he can get with that kinda lung power?!' Then I thought 'I hope he brought his own stash because nobody would want to share with him. One toke and the whole thing would be gone.'

Disclaimer: I'm no loadie but some things are just plain obvious. Don't smoke pot with Michael Phelps.