Don't make me

I have apparently earned a reputation.

The other day I heard a co-worker gasp, laugh, then say "Ooooh! Mina just went all Lucy on their ass!" What?! Well, now that phrase is sweeping the office.

We've been trapped in hours upon hours of conference calls all about budgets and numbers and other mind-numbing details of our business. I arranged for an Assistant to order lunch for us (since there was no lunch break scheduled) and later learned that she taped up a sign that read "Please note: This food was ordered for Lucy's meeting. DO NOT TOUCH or she might go all Lucy on your ass."

When I picked up my lunch I somehow missed the sign. I didn't even know about it until the HR person I recently punk'd came over laughing. She said "I love your sign!" She thought I wrote it. (Mortified!!!) Later, several people played narc and reported seeing non-Lucy- meeting co-workers eating my food. I couldn't figure out what the trouble was. Apparently they wanted to see me "go all Lucy" on somebody else's ass.

The funny thing is I'm really a push over in most aspects of my life. I just get annoyed when people "do it wrong" as my mom would say. I don't really care who eats our lunch as long as my meeting buddies have had a chance to eat theirs first. I'm just obsessed with fairness and basic consideration of others.

I also expect people to do what I've asked when I've given plenty of warning. If there's one thing I've learned in my current job, it's that most adults, when given the chance, will act like 3rd graders. I can ask, and ask, and ask for something and a person will nod and swear up and down to get it to me, but until I refuse them what they need, it just doesn't happen. I'm serious! For instance, tonight I spent about 3 hours at home reviewing product for work. One individual keeps giving me only partial views of the stuff I'm supposed to review. Stuff I'm asked to give "rush" preference to incedentally. I keep asking for a full view and they keep swearing they'll do it but continue to give me only partial views and info. Mistakes have slipped through as a result. Well, tonight I sent every "Rush" back and told them I would continue to return all submissions unreviewed until they could give me what I need. Watch how fast they change their process. Unbelievable! I hate to be the bee-otch but sheesh! How many times do I have to ask for something (something they did correctly for years by the way) before it gets done?

Only when I sense someone is sneaking around or deliberately undermining what is right will I "go all Lucy" on one's ass.

It can be exhausting and completely disappointing but people don't mess with me much anymore. Well, at least not at work. I often think how hard my family and friends would laugh if they could see me at work. I think most of us could say the same. I'm sure I'd crack up if I saw my bro at work. God knows I laugh when he's parenting!