Friday, June 22

This one's for the ladies (sorry guys)

Today I met a new favorite person. She is about 75 and her name is Bonnie. She works at Creative Woman (aka The Wizard of Bras) and has been fitting ladies into the right bras for 32 years and I love her.

The Wizard of Bras is an institution in our neck of the woods. As a child you first notice it because it's got an absolutely enormous bra in the window. Naturally, you giggle at it but most importantly you never forget it. They say most women wander about this world wearing the wrong bra and I, for one, was one of them. I've been meaning to visit TWOB for ages but somehow never made it a priority. Boy was that a mistake. I plan to go back often.

First you walk in and fill out your name and info in a slip of pink paper then wait while you're treated to the songs of Peggy Lee, Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin. Next, a Fitter calls out your name and off you go to the fitting room. Your fitter asks what it is you're looking for then takes some measurements and is off to collect some bras (or whatever you're needing). As mentioned, my Fitter's name was Bonnie. Bonnie is a no nonsense woman and really that's all you can be in her line of work. Bonnie taught me all sorts of things such as "You should always put your bra on around your waist then pull it up." Who knew? According to Bonnie, ladies should always bend at the waist and "pull everything you can into that cup." (I know! I'm still sort of laughing at that one.) Bonnie set me up with incredibly comfortable under garments just as I'd asked. At one point Bonnie wandered off, came back and said "Now, don't throw up when you see this one. Just try it on. It's for when nobody is looking. You'll love it." Bonnie was right. From now on I promise to pretty much do whatever Bonnie says. As I left, Bonnie's last words to me were "Remember, a good bra can change our life!" She's right.

I know men don't want to hear it but Victoria's Secret is for wimps with no breasts. The crap they sell is strictly decorative. I swear, it's the cosmetic surgery industry that fronts places like Victoria's Secret. They want us to think we should defy gravity with those weak-ass bras. When we fail, they sit back and wait for us to rush in for boob jobs. Now I know better. Who needs silicone when we've got Bonnie?

Ladies feel free to get a couple of cute bras for fun, but I'm tellin' ya, go visit Bonnie and invest in some ol', practical, foundation under garments. You'll be so glad you did.

1 comment:

kb said...

I totally agree with your entire post. Bonnie sounds like our kind of no-nonsense gal! I bet she mocks those Victoria's Secret commercials, too.