What?!

I'm home! As much as I love NYC, I always love my first day home. It usually involves unpacking, laundry and a blessed nap. Today was no different. I flipped on a Law and Order episode and promptly fell unconscious. (How is it that I watch those reruns all the time but never see the same episode twice? It's amazing.)

We left for the airport this morning at 6:30 am/est. A friend and I changed seat assignments at the airport and wound up sharing the emergency row with nobody in the middle seat. It was great! She informed me that a new woman at work is gay. I admitted that I was shocked. She's literally the last woman in the office I might have pegged as gay. I immediately felt guilty for stereotyping people.

Friend 1: Did you know colleague 1 is gay?
Lucy: What?! No way!
Friend 1: I know!
Lucy: Wow, I mean seriously, I'd have never guessed.
Friend 1: Yeah, I know.
Lucy: But that's terrible isn't it? I mean what exactly do I think a lesbian looks like anyway?
Friend 1: Umm, colleague 2?
Lucy: Well, truth be told, it only improves my opinion of her. It's sort of like learning somebody is from some exotic place... like... Transylvania!
Friend 1: *shaking head and laughing at me*

Later, on the plane, my friend and I wondered if another colleague was a gay woman. Hmm, it's possible but who knows. My friend went on to explain a couple of things she'd noticed about her at a recent dinner. We wondered if friend 2, in First Class, might know. Friend 2 happens to be gay and we wondered how his gaydar worked on women. We thought it might be funny to send a note to seat "2D" asking "Do you think colleague 3 is gay?" We didn't have to send the note, he later wandered back to visit with us:

Lucy: How's your gaydar?
Friend 2: Ha! Pretty good I hope.
Lucy: Did you know colleague 1 is gay?
Friends 2: Really?! Wow!
Friend 1: I know!
Lucy: Ok, what about colleague 3? Do you think she might be gay?
Friend 2: Hmmmmmm, interesting. It's possible but... Hmmmm.

We then moved on to other work related gossip, rumors and theories. A week in New York with dozens of co-workers, lots of alcohol and cab availability usually means lots of fun stories. While going into a meeting earlier this week I asked about a good friend I hadn't seen much of all week. I was told "I'm not sure where she is. Last time I saw her she was dancing on a bar. And no, I'm not kidding, she was literally dancing on a bar." I later sent her an email asking if it was true and if (dear Lord please!) was there video. She confirmed both. I can't wait to see it. She explained that when she first walked into the bar she saw a woman dancing on the bar and thought 'Well, that looks like fun'. Apparently, four cosmos later, it seemed a downright irresistible idea so she got up in front of 25 co-workers and danced her ass off. This is why I have a 2 drink limit per trip.

After a six hour flight filled with much story telling, we finally landed. Luckily, I had booked a car service to take me home because I was really tired. The driver met me at baggage claim and kept asking "Is it just you?" I kept telling him "yes" but he didn't seem satisfied. I figured he might be confused because I was talking to a few work friends from the flight. Friend 2 realized he'd forgotten to book a car service for his ride home. It was then that my driver asked about my status again.

Driver: It's just you, right?
Lucy: Yes.
Lucy (to friend 2): If it was on the way, I'd drop you.
Driver: Where does he live?
I told him.
Driver: I could make that on the way.
Driver: They sent you a stretch.
Lucy: A stretch limo?! How embarrassing!!
Driver: *Shrug*
Lucy: Why would they do that?
Driver: *Shrug*
Lucy: Will they charge me more?
Driver: No.
Lucy to Friend 2: You're coming with me. They sent a stretch and it's just too embarrassing to get in the thing alone.

So there were were, Friend 2 and I in the back of a ridiculous stretch limo cruising through downtown LA at half past 1:00. I told him it felt like we'd just been married. It felt silly. All I could think was how much gas does this thing use and that if my brother saw me get out of that thing he'd never stop laughing. This car service thing has gotten out of hand. I never found out why they sent that limo but I figure they must have just run out of town cars.

I'm now struggling to stay awake. I can't let myself fall asleep until 10:00 pm or I'll be awake all night. Must... get... back... on ... schedule.