Mama said, Mama said...

When I think of my mom, I usually think of us laughing 'til we cry. My mom is a Special Ed teacher and has spent most of her life being patient, caring and a favorite teacher. When she comes home in the evening she and I often unwind by making incredibly inappropriate and sarcastic remarks at whomever has the misfortune of being on tv.

I realize these are usually you-had-to-be-there moments but here are a few zingers we let fly last night during the Scripps Spelling Bee (most are directed at the poor, little, over-stressed participants):

• "Not so cocky now are you smarty-pants?!"
• "...and representing Future Shut-ins of America..."
• "SURE, home schooled kids aren't' weird!"
• "I'll give the judge $1000 if he can spell that kids name."
• "Media whore!"
• "Oh good, Mr. Personality is back."
• "Somebody shut that kid up!" (Said about the baby that shrieked throughout the competition.)
• "Wow. German words are a bitch."

At one point the television suddenly shut off. We still have no idea what happened and it immediately turned back on but first the tv made a rather loud pop and just went black. My mom is easily startled so this put her over the edge. (We've agreed that she'd be a terrible pioneer and even worse in a fox hole.) The moment it happened, she gasped, "clutched the pearls" (as my dad has dubbed her favorite motion) and slumped back in her chair. She wasn't kidding. It really scared the hell outta her and this is how a drama queen behaves. A drama queens daughter reacts by yelling "Mom's been hit!" , "Grandma down!" and "Don't go into the light!" My poor dad happened to be walking by for this scene. He's used to this and was not alarmed. He's stopped asking what we're doing a long time ago because we're usually laughing too hard to speak.

So there you have a little slice of Life with Mama. I'd love to write more about dear old Mom but she'd kill me if I took her comments completely out of context and reprinted them here. I'll have to control myself. Or maybe I'll just start taking credit for them.

Anyway, have a great weekend everyone!