Saturday, August 26

More nature than I can stomach

















-20 minutes ago-

Mom (from the kitchen): God dammit!
Me (to Dad): Ooh! You're in trou-ble!
Dad: What?!
Mom: What is this in the freezer?!
Dad: It's a sandpiper.
Me: (Whispering) You can count on a "God Dammit!" when you leave dead birds in the freezer.
Dad: *sigh*

Maybe I should explain. My Dad is a birder, that's an extreme bird watcher to you and me. He has been into bird watching for about 45 years. Dad has many friends in scientific fields including a friend at the Museum of Natural science. When he finds a good specimen (aka: a dead bird in good shape that has, apparently, died of natural causes) he freezes it and gives it to his friend for study. This same friend used to be a Professor at my college. I think the biggest fight I ever got into with my Dad was when he wanted me to carry a frozen Cooper's hawk, in my back pack, to school, to give to his friend. I refused. He couldn't understand what my problem was. Needless to say, it was just too gross.

Once, when my parents were first married, my mom was looking through the fridge for a sweet treat and found a promising looking packet of something in foil. She carefully opened it, hoping to find some chocolate cake, and instead found a dead bird staring back at her. She, naturally, screamed and dropped the bird in horror thinking she'd married a maniac. The verdict is still out on that count. She calls it her "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane" moment. We've, sadly, become accustomed to finding frozen birds next to our Lean Cuisine meals. The upside is that it's a great appetite suppressant.

3 comments:

cellardoor said...

that is the sickest thing- but i still can't look away...

Fuck You Google said...

Dude, that's crazy.

But absolutely hilarious, too.

shandon said...

Sandpiper: it's what's for dinner.